Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Cat Person’ on Hulu, a Comic Thriller About the Perils of Modern Dating

Interesting story behind Cat Person (now streaming on Hulu): The movie adapts a viral New Yorker short story by Kristen Roupenian, who also wrote the spec script for Bodies Bodies Bodies (one of my favorite films of 2022). It features two talented sort-of-newcomers in CODA’s Emilia Jones and Succession’s Nicholas Braun. It’s directed by Susanna Fogel, co-writer of Booksmart (one of my favorite films of 2019). It just OOZED with potential – and then it debuted at Sundance 2023, where producers reportedly turned down a pretty good distribution offer from Netflix, preferring a theatrical release (which earned a paltry $350k). And now the movie unceremoniously peters out in the streaming milieu, where it’s likely to get more eyeballs on it than ever. But does it deserve it? Maybe, I say. Maybe.

CAT PERSON: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: “Listen, concession stand girl. Why don’t you give me your number.” OK, so the guy isn’t exactly a romantic. Robert (Braun) is a bit doofy and awkward. And Margot (Jones) seems, well, bored enough to actually give him her number. Maybe he’ll become more than just the Large Popcorn And Red Vines Guy. He’s a little older and she’s a college student, but who’s counting anyway? Margot’s our protagonist, and she studies archaeology or anthropology or something; whatever it is, she works in a lab looking at old bones under the guidance of Prof. Isabella Rossellini Who’s In The Movie For Two Or Three Scenes And Uses Her Ant Colony To Speak In Metaphors For The Human Male-Female Dynamic. Her roommate and best pal is Taylor (Geraldine Viswanathan), who advises against Margot giving her number to Robert. Taylor moderates a Subreddit titled “Vagenda,” and seems to make a sport out of rooting out participants who use feminine usernames but are men in real life; she can add feminist-victimhood shade to any topic you can think of.

The movie frequently cuts away to scenes that seem very real but are just Margot envisioning worst-case scenarios. Example: She’s hanging out with Robert and all of a sudden he’s locked her in a closet and choking her, which explains the Margaret Atwood quote that opens the movie, “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” Such is the unfortunate dynamic, and it plays out whenever Margot finishes work late at night and has to make a long walk back to campus and her dorm room, on a path lined with emergency phones. She and Robert text a lot. He’s quick with the witty banter, and way more endearing than “Listen, concession stand girl. Why don’t you give me your number.” That’s the difference between our remote selves and our IRL selves. The face-to-face stuff is hard. 

One night Margot’s working in the bone lab with the ant colony in the corner. She texts with Robert who agrees to bring her a snack, and they hang out a bit. He seems nice enough I guess, save for the nightmare cutaway scenes in which he viciously assaults our protag. He accidentally locks them in a closet – I know, right? – and then breaks the door to get out and accidentally smashes the ant colony, so there’s the metaphor in pieces all over the floor, biting Margot’s exposed ankles. It’s kind of funny. They part and agree that this wasn’t a date-date, but they should go on one soon. She goes home for a break and they text a lot and she sends him a mildly racy photo, just a bit of cleavage, and he takes way too long to reply. How do we interpret that? Not replying is actually a reply, right? Hmm. She gets back and he asks her out to see The Empire Strikes Back, which ain’t her bag, but she agrees. They go and it’s a little weird, not as snappy and chemical as their txt spk, and as things progress towards physical intimacy, Margot begins jumping to her imaginary manifestations of Robert in therapy. They’re building toward something here – something so cringe that I just can’t describe it. You might just have to see it for yourself.

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: Promising Young Woman isn’t aging well, but it’ll age a little better than Cat Person as a post-#MeToo story about navigating the treacherous waters of the patriarchy.

Performance Worth Watching: You have to admire Jones for embodying a character who’s prickly and imperfect and not always entirely likable, but still earns the benefit of our doubt. 

Memorable Dialogue: This howler of an exchange: 

Robert: I wanna f— you so bad. Do you wanna f— me?

Margot, chirpily: Mm hm!

Sex and Skin: They f—. And considering the movie takes Margot’s point-of-view, it’s not sexy. Not at all. 

Our Take: Heart emoji, heart-eyes smiley emoji, leaping dolphin emoji. That’s what Robert texts to Margot on The Day After. Her non-reply is a reply, of course. She could’ve texted eyeroll face, or shrugging lady, or barf emoji, but she didn’t. She wants to let him down gently, to curtail any potential retaliatory tactics that she almost certainly is imagining. Taylor, however, thinks Margot should be direct and honest with him, because that’s how idealists think, despite the world being dictated primarily by realists.

Transparent provocation is Cat Person’s primary M.O.: These are the horrors of dating, and the horrors of being a young woman who’s dating, and the horrors of not knowing for certain what the person you’re dating is capable of. Margot’s suspicion of Robert lies in his claim that he has cats, but when she was at his house, she didn’t see any. Is he lying to her to make himself look more endearing? Is he just a goofy, awkward guy, or a serial killer? Will a little kindness inspire him to be a sweetheart? Or will a dollop of hard truth turn him into the Lone Decapitator? Who can tell? 

Robert’s not a character – he’s a straw man. And that’s OK, if the film is satirical and has a point to make, which it’s not and it does, respectively, and that’s why it’s not particularly functional. Fogel and Jones work hard to convey Margot’s deeply trepidatious perspective, poisoned as it is by omnipresent fear. It’s surely a common feeling among women (again, remember the it’s-funny-but-also-not-at-all-funny Atwood quote), and as far as I can tell as a human male, Fogel and Jones tap into it with earnest authenticity. 

The film wavers, unsure of itself, in a tonal fog of almost-satirical comedy, realist drama and manipulative psychological thriller tropes. It lacks subtlety, finding nails and smashing them with hammers. It doesn’t always make sense. The final act borders on cluttery, hyperactive nonsense. But this is where I throw in a qualifier: But. I laughed quite often. Jones gives a good, reasonably complex central performance. I was held in thrall by its cagey narrative. And That Scene is viciously memorable, hideous and uncomfortably funny at the same time, executed with the type of vision and clarity that can tip a messy mediocrity over into watchable territory. And that it does. You might just appreciate Cat Person for its occasional fearlessness, in spite of its flaws.

Our Call: I was intrigued by Cat Person’s ability to overstate its thematic intentions while still keeping the true nature of its characters nebulous. It’s kind of a mess, but at least it’s a fascinating mess. STREAM IT.

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan.