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The Drew Barrymore Show

Drew Barrymore

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Jerrod Carmichael is laying it all on the table in his new docuseries Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show, including his unrequited love for his close friend Tyler, the Creator. While appearing on this morning’s episode of The Drew Barrymore Show, Carmichael opened up about the “uncomfortable” on-camera conversation he had with the rapper.

Host Drew Barrymore brought up the scene, asking the comedian how he found the bravery to express his feelings to Tyler.

“I look at that conversation in particular, a lot of the conversations in the show, but that one as a crucifixion of cringe,” Carmichael said. “A lot of people are afraid of having a tough conversation — especially, like, telling a friend you have feelings for him is really, really hard.”

He added, “I was afraid to have that conversation because it was going to be so embarrassing and so uncomfortable. It’s a very uncomfortable conversation.”

According to Carmichael, having cameras in the room helped him work up the courage as his feelings for Tyler were something they had been “avoiding for a long time.” Barrymore then wondered how he felt during and after their candid conversation.

“The anticipation was the worst,” Carmichael said. “Like, you’re afraid to have those conversations because it’s easier for things just to be pleasant. I was living in Pleasantville, everything was nice, and we’d be at breakfast and we’d be smiling — but really in my heart I wanted to talk about something deeper.”

He continued, “So the anticipation of that was like, ‘Oh, I’m gonna ruin something really important to me.'”

Once they began talking, however, Carmichael said the “catharsis” kicked in.

“You start having the conversation, [you] feel freer with every word that you say,” he explained. “And once it’s over and you’re still alive, you’re thankful that you had it. And the relationships are made better because of it.”

The Drew Barrymore Show airs on weekdays on CBS. You can check the website for local airtimes.