Ellen DeGeneres Says She “Hated” The Way ‘The Ellen DeGeneres Show’ Ended: “It Was Devastating”

Ellen DeGeneres is looking back on the “devastating” time in her life when a handful of past and present employees on The Ellen DeGeneres Show came forward with toxic workplace allegations.

During the first show of her Ellen’s Last Stand…Up Tour, the comedian opened up about what she has been doing since her long-running daytime talk show came to an end in 2022, explaining that she’s been gardening and collecting pet chickens.

“What else can I tell you?” she said, per Rolling Stone. “Oh yeah, I got kicked out of show business. There’s no mean people in show business.”

For nearly 20 years, DeGeneres reminded millions of households to “be kind to one another” at the end of every show. But in July 2020, Buzzfeed News published a report in which anonymous Ellen Show employees claimed racism, sexual misconduct and fear of retribution behind the scenes. At the time, DeGeneres delivered an on-air apology and three top producers were fired from the show.

“The ‘be kind’ girl wasn’t kind,” DeGeneres said at Wednesday’s (April 24) show. “I became this one-dimensional character who gave stuff away and danced up steps. Do you know how hard it is to dance up steps? Would a mean person dance up steps? Had I ended my show by saying, ‘Go fuck yourself,’ people would’ve been pleasantly surprised.”

DeGeneres ultimately announced in 2021 that the 19th season of her eponymous talk show would be its last. The scandal marked the second time her career had taken a blow.

“For those of you keeping score, this is the second time I’ve been kicked out of show business,” she said, referencing the cancellation of her 1990s sitcom after she came out as gay. “Eventually they’re going to kick me out for a third time because I’m mean, old, and gay.”

According to DeGeneres, giving up her talk show was “such a toll on my ego and my self-esteem.” She added, “There’s such extremes in this business, people either love you and idolize you or they hate you, and those people somehow are louder.”

The Finding Dory star held an audience Q&A following her set, where she was asked if she was able to keep dancing through the tough times.

“No. It’s hard to dance when you’re crying,” she said. “But I am dancing now.”

When asked if the scrutiny she faced when she came out prepared her for the downfall of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, DeGeneres said it was “a whole different thing.”

“This was like, ‘What is going on?’ It was so hurtful,” she said. “I couldn’t gain perspective. I couldn’t do anything to make myself understand that it wasn’t personal… I just thought, ‘Well this is not the way I wanted to end my career, but this is the way it’s ending.'”

Despite making jokes about what happened, DeGeneres admitted that it was, overall, a “devastating” experience.

“I just hated the way the show ended,” she said. “I love that show so much and I just hated that the last time people would see me is that way.”