‘The Valley’ Star Jesse Lally Opens Up About Separation From Michelle Lally: “It Was A Long, Toxic Road To Get Where We’re At Now”

Jesse Lally and his now-estranged wife Michelle Lally are laying everything on the table in Bravo’s hottest new show, The Valley. Throughout the first half of the reality series’ debut season, the luxury real estate brokers have been openly struggling with their marriage as they attend therapy sessions and find themselves at the center of damaging rumors within their friend group, which includes Vanderpump Rules alums Kristen Doute and Jax Taylor, who has known Jesse for more than two decades.

Ahead of The Valley’s premiere back in March, Jesse and Michelle announced their separation to the world. Jesse revealed when he stopped by DECIDER’s offices that they also kept their split a secret from their friends for four months, noting that they are in a much better place these days as co-parents to their four-year-old daughter Isabella and co-workers.

“It was a long, toxic road to get where we’re at right now,” Jesse said, adding that their dynamic began to shift in a more positive direction once Michelle officially moved out of their home. “I just had this, like, lightness. That pain and aggression and anger was all kind of lifted and that’s when it really kind of settled in.”

Their relationship has been put under a microscope in The Valley, with Doute alleging that Michelle was having an affair following a heated cast dinner. “I don’t know if Kristen thought we were an easy target or if it’s just Kristen being Kristen, but she stepped on the wrong toes,” Jesse said when asked why he thinks Doute repeated the bombshell rumor about his then-wife.

The rookie reality star, who began to question Michelle’s faithfulness in the most recent episode of The Valley, also revealed that he “never in a million years” doubted his wife’s fidelity before that fateful dinner party. And despite all the chaos that’s played out so far, Jesse insisted that there is still “a lot more to see.”

While chatting with DECIDER ahead of tonight’s new episode, Jesse opened up about his years-long friendship with Taylor, his new love interest and whether he was expecting to find himself in the center of all the drama on The Valley. Check out the full interview below.

DECIDER: You and Jax have been friends for years. Back when you guys were modeling in New York, did you ever think you’d one day star on a reality show together?

JESSE LALLY: Thank God it wasn’t back then because it would have been R-rated. But no, I don’t even think they had reality TV back then. It was the early 2000s. Did they have maybe The Real World? I mean, Jax and I were friends for a long time. We sort of bounced around. I went to LA, he went to Miami and then we sort of ran into each other again in LA. So there was a little pause there for a bit that we were spending a lot of time together. And that’s how I started watching Vanderpump [Rules]. I’m like, “How is this guy that slept on my couch on a reality show?” I reconnected with him again and never thought I’d be on one with him. So it’s pretty fun.

Are there any fun facts about Jax that fans would be surprised to know?

I think after the passing of his dad, his entire mindset shifted towards parenting and towards relationships because I definitely see that little change in him. He is very committed to his family, no matter what’s going on with them right now. And he does reach out. He reached out to me quite a bit when I was going through my separation and that’s not a thing that most people would think Jax would do. So that’s the best one I can give you.

What made you decide to try your hand at reality TV? And were you expecting to find yourself at the center of the drama?

Jax and Ryan, a producer on the show who is Jax’s manager, called me about two years ago and asked if Michelle and I would be interested. We had a long conversation about it because we do have a business together and I thought it’d be fun to – I wanted to create a little box and stay [within] luxury real estate and travel and wine [but] that box just exploded on day one.

I didn’t know I could say no to anything. So me and Michelle – we showed everything of our real life. We were super authentic and it played out the way it played out. But I kind of thought that there was going to be a chance that I was going to be involved in a lot of [the drama]. But I was never involved in anything with Jax – like head on head – so Season 2.

What’s the most challenging part of juggling fatherhood with a career and your budding reality TV stardom?

Now that Michelle and I are living separately and we have a schedule for Isabella and she’s in school and we still work together – we still go to the office together – it hasn’t been that difficult. I can’t wrap myself up on reading comments all day, every day because we do have a business and we do have to continue moving forward with that business. So I haven’t found it to be super difficult.

You and Michelle announced your separation right before The Valley started airing. How have you been doing?

Oh, thank you for asking. It was a long, toxic road to get where we’re at right now. I think I lost a fair amount of weight which is proving positive for the dating life right now (laughs). But yeah, it was a struggle because I was working so hard all summer, really all of last year, and then aggressively in the summer – even after we had the separation conversation, I was still trying to do things to keep my family together.

It was a long road to get where we’re at. It was hard for me to admit to everybody on New Year’s Day what was actually happening. I just needed to lift that weight off my shoulder … and then when Michelle moved out, I just had this, like, lightness. That pain and aggression and anger was all kind of lifted and that’s when it really kind of settled in.

You mentioned your dating life. The internet has been buzzing about your new lady. Is there anything you can tell us about her? 

It’s just so new and I’m super happy. She’s amazing. We’ve been friends for a long time. And yeah, [I] newly started dating and right now I’m just trying to navigate what it’s like to be dating again. I’m just such a family, couple, loyal type of lover that I just can’t see myself dating a bunch of people. But yeah, she’s great. She makes me super happy and she’s an amazing mom and yeah, it’s just great. 

Last week’s dinner party got pretty out of hand. When it comes to your part in the situation, is there anything you wish you had done differently?

I wish I didn’t go to the bathroom and hear what Kristen said in the hallway. That would have been a good start. I didn’t feel great physically that morning and then I had my coaching session with Scott, where it was the first time I realized or mentioned that my marriage might be over. To hear what Kristen said was a trigger.

When you have that much pain inside of you – it’s like pain mixed with emotion, stress and then adrenaline. I’m from Boston and once we get going, it’s like – I wish I had had a little bit more clarity to not go back in and not realize that I ran into people and stuff like that. That was just all adrenaline at the time. So yeah, we could have started with not going to the bathroom and everything would have been fine.

A lot of the rumors coming out about you and Michelle have been brought up by Kristen. Why do you think she keeps bringing these accusations up?

I have no idea because I’ve been friends with Kristen for a very long time. Michelle has been very close with her. I said it in the episode and I had said it a few other times – like, you’re so irrelevant, why are you using my family to make you relevant again? Like, I’m not gonna stand for that. I don’t know if Kristen thought we were an easy target or if it’s just Kristen being Kristen, but she stepped on the wrong toes, as you can see.

We saw you start to question Michelle’s faithfulness in last week’s episode. Had you had any doubts about her fidelity before that fateful dinner? 

No, I just couldn’t imagine. We have so much time together – Michelle and I. We work together. We live together, obviously. We have Isabella together. We sometimes hike together. I just never in a million years thought that that would happen and you’ll see over the next – you know, people will make up their own decisions about what actually happened.

I think the truth is we need a reunion because there has been so much time and so many things that have happened that I think everybody needs some closure. It’s like, all the sudden the season ends and me and Michelle are together. Like, where did it go from there?

What clues can you give us to identify the mysterious director who Michelle hung out with at the Chateau Marmont?

The director thing! We go to Chateau – I think I was there twice last weekend. I was there when that all went down. That’s why it was so crazy to me. We’ve all been together down there, with Isabella, the three of us. The amount of people we run into there. Michelle’s a huge fan of The Crown and we were there during I think it was the Emmys. The first year we moved in, she was like, “Everybody from The Crown was there.” You know what I mean? She was so excited. So we see people down there. That’s why people go there because it’s very discreet. So I just thought that whole thing was a little silly. 

Everybody was really trying to figure out who it was. 

Well, I mean, sorry, it’s Jax. You know what I mean? So Jax is still like a little gossip queen. So what do you expect? 

You and Michele aren’t the only couple navigating a separation post-The Valley. Have you and Jax been able to lean on each other during this tough time?

Yeah, it was a little harder for me because I kept it a secret for almost four months. There were times where Jax made comments about me, like, my attitude and how I was dealing with things but he didn’t know what was actually going on. After Michelle moved out and things started to happen between Jax and Brittany, we spoke a few times.

As you’ll see through the rest of the episodes, there’s a real transition between me having the realization where it’s more of an actual thing that’s gonna happen with my marriage, and then start to see me basically saying to Jax, “Learn from my mistakes. Watch what I did wrong and try to make the changes.” Since the news of them broke, we’ve spoken a couple of times, and I’m like, “Whatever you need, I’ve been through it. I’m a few months ahead of you. Just call whatever.”

What else can you tease about the rest of the season?

Well, I mentioned the plant-based medicine journey. That was done. So that’s gonna be exciting. Listen, the season didn’t end in Episode 6 in the hallway. We still have six more to go, including last [week]. And there’s a lot more to see. So stay tuned.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity

The Valley airs on Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo. New episodes are available to stream the next day on Peacock.