Watching ‘The Valley’ Just Confirms To Michelle Saniei Lally That She “Made The Right Decision” Regarding The End Of Her Marriage: “I’m So Much Happier Now”

No one expected The Valley to go this hard right out the gate, but here we are. The freshman reality show, anchored by Vanderpump Rules veteran Jax Taylor, Brittany Cartwright and Kristen Doute, has quickly become one of the jewels in Bravo’s crown, thanks to the genuine connections between their cast members and all the resulting drama. At the center of it all is Michelle Saniei Lally, a place where she never expected to be.

Shortly before the season began airing, Saniei Lally and her husband of five years, Jesse Lally, announced their separation. As their marital woes began to play out on screen, fans everywhere knew the estranged couple had made the right decision, including Saniei herself. “I’m watching the show as it airs and it just confirms that I made the right decision,” Saniei said. “I’m so much happier now.” However, Saniei Lally admits she went into filming with the goal of saving her marriage. “I never actually expected us to divorce,” explained Saniei Lally. “I just thought we had hit a really low point.”

While Saniei Lally and her ex-husband are on good terms, she is not on good terms with former pal Kristen Doute. Saniei Lally still doesn’t understand why Doute chose to dredge up past issues on the show, especially when Doute was aware that Saniei was going through a rough time. “She knew that I personally was going through a lot with my marriage,” said Saniei Lally. “She knew that right before filming that I found out that my mom had cancer.” At a time when Saniei Lally admits that she was “struggling” and needed a friend, it was Cartwright, similarly dealing with a separation from her husband Taylor, who came through. “We absolutely text each other, call each other and try to have dinner together at least once a week,” revealed Saniei Lally.

Saniei Lally spoke to DECIDER over Zoom to discuss talking the plunge into reality TV, co-parenting with Lally, and whether she’d want Lala Kent and Scheana Shay to join The Valley someday.

DECIDER: You’ve been in Jax Taylor’s social circle for many years. Were you excited to take the jump into reality TV?

MICHELLE SANIEI LALLY: I was. I didn’t really watch reality TV, so I didn’t know exactly what to expect. I never thought that Jesse and I were going to be the drama [laughs]. I thought it would be other people because I don’t have that personality. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. However, I was very excited in the beginning. “

I think it’s an incredibly brave thing to put your relationship out in the open, especially when you were having issues. Was there a part of you at first that was hoping the show would bring you and Jesse closer together?

I did hope that. I never actually expected us to divorce. I just thought we had hit a really low point in our marriage. When I went into filming, my intention was to work on the marriage. However, it was our first session with the life coach that helped open my eyes to what was the best decision for me and my daughter.

You are clearly in a lot of pain this season regarding your marriage. Is it difficult to revisit this time in your life through the show?

Actually, no. I’m watching the show as it airs, and it just confirms that I made the right decision. I’m so much happier now. It was the right thing to do for everybody.

We spoke with Jesse the other day, and he says you two have hit your stride with co-parenting, which was wonderful to hear. Do you agree? How is it going?

We’re still trying to figure it out. I think we’re doing much better than when during filming when I first decided that our marriage was no longer going to work. There’s been a huge improvement. We do have ups and downs, but it’s a process. Overall, we are in a much better place.

I do want to talk about Kristen. When it comes to you and Kristen, the one phrase I think of is “with friends like these, who needs enemies?” Why do you think you become a target for her this season?

I ask myself that all the time. We were good friends prior to filming. I had never done anything to her. She knew that I personally was going through a lot with my marriage. She knew that right before filming I found out that my mom had cancer. It was a very low point in my life. I was struggling.

I do believe that she never really liked Jesse, despite what she has said in the past. I now believe she just put up with him all these years because he was my husband. I think she didn’t like that we were on a TV show with her. I think she was really trying to get to Jesse and used me to get to him. That’s the only reason I can imagine.

That’s really unfortunate. Kristen says she was only repeating the “Republican” comment—that spiraled out of control—from Zack Wickham via Janet Caperna that stemmed from a conversation about Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill. Did you address the accusation with Zack and Janet at all or was it not even worth it at that point?

It was a very small conversation that had happened a long time ago between Janet and me. After it got brought up, Janet immediately apologized to me. She clarified what happened. She told me: “I didn’t say you were Republican. I said, ‘this was a Republican law,’ and people misunderstood.” She was very sorry she had brought it up to Zack and Jasmine [Goode]. We had an incredibly mature and open conversation. I can see that she didn’t mean anything by it. People make mistakes.

What made me so upset is that this incident had happened so long ago. I never once heard about this conversation from Kristen until she felt cornered on television about something that had nothing to do with me. People always ask, “why were you so upset with Kristen instead of Janet and Zack?” Number one: Kristen had the opportunity to tell me this for over a year. Number two: she twisted everything and added all those horrible accusations about me.

Another example of Kristen twisting the situation is what went down in the hallway at Jax’s hair growth party. Looking back on it now, is there anything you would have done differently?

Yes, of course. I probably shouldn’t have yelled at her, but she pushed me to that point. Everything that went down happened because Jesse went to the bathroom. While he was in there, Kristen started yelling things to Jesse that were incredibly inappropriate. It just spiraled from there. We should have been the bigger couple and just walked away, but we just felt so attacked and we hadn’t done anything. That’s why I yelled at her. I shouldn’t have done that, but there’s nothing I can do about it now.

You have a successful real estate career, you are a wonderful mother, so I imagine reality TV comes in very low on the list of things you worry about on a day-to-day basis. How are you juggling this newfound stardom?

I’m used to juggling things. I did it with raising a daughter and trying to work full time. Reality TV is just one more thing to do. I don’t mind it. I like it.

And Isabella has a budding modeling career! I saw she did a Guess campaign on Instagram.

She’s always been a beautiful girl, even when she was a baby. Wherever we were out, people would say she should be a model. Jesse has experience in that world, so he knew what agency to put her with. We did a couple auditions for fun, and when she was two, she landed a Guess campaign. She did an American Girl campaign next. Things slowed down for a minute, but we’re getting more auditions for her now. Both Jesse and I knew modeling is something she would enjoy and thrive in, especially given her big personality. We figured why not?

You can tell she’s a really special kid.

She’s super outgoing. She loves people. These jobs are not jobs to her. There’s no pressure at all. She just enjoys every minute of it.

Before I let you go, I did want to get your thoughts on Jax’s and Brittany’s separation. Have you and Brittany been able to lean on each other during this time?

Absolutely. We’ve both moved out of our houses so we have a lot more time to ourselves. It’s interesting. What are the odds that two close friends would be going through something super similar and dealing with men that have similar personalities? We absolutely text each other, call each other and try to have dinner together at least once a week.

Brittany and Jax obviously are having some tough conversations on the show. What was your reaction to Jax questioning Brittany’s readiness to have a second child?

I think he was making excuses. Since I’ve known Brittany, she’s always been an incredible mother. She spends a lot of time and energy on Cruz. I think deep down, maybe Jax knew they had bigger problems and maybe it was not the best time to have another kid.

One last question. I saw you were out at dinner with Vanderpump Rules stars Lala Kent and Scheana Shay. What are your thoughts about the rumors they will eventually graduate to The Valley? Would you welcome them?

Yes, I love them both. I have always gotten along with Lala and Scheana. They’ve also been very supportive of me during my separation. In fact, Lala called me with a wonderful offer: “I know you’re new to reality TV, and it can be hard at times. You can call me if you need any advice in regards to dealing with social media or with Jesse, because obviously I’ve also gone through something similar.” She just came to me with open arms, and same with Scheana. They’ve both been super sweet. I would love them to join The Valley someday.