you shall not pass

Sorry Nerds, Ian McKellen Won’t Officiate Your Expensive Lord of the Rings–Themed Wedding

Will he at least stay and dance the Twist?
Will he at least stay and dance the Twist? Photo: Warner Brothers

In 2013, Napster co-founder Sean Parker married singer-songwriter Alexandra Lenas in a Lord of the Rings–themed wedding that cost around $10 million. Some called it hilariously tacky, others pointed to its harmful environmental impact on Big Sur. (Say what you will about it, but this would’ve been my 12-year-old self’s dream wedding, had I planned beyond practicing kissing on my Aragorn poster.) Still, despite the hefty costs and the elaborate Tolkien costumes designed for each guest, the wedding was actually not all that was imagined.

It appears as if Ian McKellen, who played Gandalf in the movie adaptation of Tolkien’s trilogy, was Parker and Lenas’s dream officiant. McKellen hinted as such in a recent interview with the Daily Mail, saying, “I was offered $1.5 million to marry a very famous couple in California, which I would perhaps have considered doing but I had to go dressed as Gandalf. So I said, ‘I am sorry. Gandalf doesn’t do weddings.’”

Hear that? Gandalf can fight a Balrog and save Helm’s Deep, but he doesn’t do weddings — so, for the love of Manwë, unpin him from your Pinterest board immediately.

Ian McKellen Won’t Officiate Your Theme Wedding