Bondage FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions about bondage

This FAQ about Bondage was compiled and written by numerous contributors.

0 Introduction: Soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm is a Usenet discussion group, ...

1. 1. What do B&D, S&M, D&S, "top", "bottom" mean?: The easy part first: B&D = bondage & dominance or bondage &...

2. What is a "scene", and what is "negotiation"?: SM has definite connotations of theater. The fact that you are ...

3. What is a "safeword"?: One of the thrills of SM is that it can stretch your limitations. ...

4. When is pain not pain?: Often people outside the scene don't see the appeal in any of the ...

5. What are some basics of safe SM, emotionally and physically?: SM is often play, and as such is fun! But SM can also get intense ...

6. Is everyone either a top or a bottom?: One perception that some people can have, looking into the scene ...

7. How can I learn to be a good top?: When first getting into the scene, it can often be somewhat ...

8. How can I learn to be a good bottom?: It can also be hard to learn to bottom, if what you're used to ...

9. Why is bondage fun?: Lots of reasons. For many people, the knowledge that they are helpless,...

10. Why is whipping fun?: One way of thinking about whipping is as another way of ...

11. What is body piercing? What is "C& B" play, or "genitorture"?: Piercings aren't just done to ears. People on this list have ...

12. What is cutting/play piercing/burning/branding/electrical play?What are "bloodsports"?: First questions first. Cutting is the SM practice of using a scalpel ...

13. What is it about breath control? Is it safe to make someone passout?: Some people enjoy playing with cutting off their air during ...

14. What are "golden showers"? How about "scat"?: Another kind of play, also known as water sports. Basically, ...

15. Is anal sex safe? Why do people do it?: Anal sex, practiced properly, is as safe as any other kind of sex. ...

16. What is "fisting"?: Everyone (well, almost everyone) knows what finger-fucking is. ...

17. Does the way I play qualify as "real" SM? What is "real" SM,anyway?: Sometimes on a.s.b, people will post wondering if what they do ...

18. What is it about leather/latex/high heels/corsets/other fetishes?: All these things--erotic clothing or objects of whatever type--...

19. What about shaving body hair and/or crossdressing?: Another fetish many people have is smooth skin, with no body hair....

20. Why am I defending SM?: One of the problems with SM is the social programming against it. ...

21. Is SM degrading or abusive? Were most SM people abused?: Often people approach SM with nothing but negative stereotypes in ...

22. Why is SM taboo, and is SM criminal, unnatural, immoral, unethical,or unhealthy?: If what I've been saying in this FAQ is accurate, then why haven't ...

23. Isn't the bottom always in control?: One of the paradoxes of SM revolves around consensuality. Everything ...

24. Can someone "really" be someone else's slave?: This is the last question in another guise. Is it possible for there ...

25. What are the "codes"?: Often the hanky code is mentioned on s.s.b-b. What is it? It's ...

26. My fantasies scare me. What if I get too into SM?: Sometimes people who are attracted by some aspects of SM worry that ...

27. I want to throw a play party; how can I go about it?: Occasionally on soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm^ ^there is a flurry of ...

28. I want to attend a play party; what is the etiquette?: The simplest way to fit in in a play party is to behave politely. ...

29. What's the deal with this anonymity stuff?: There are many people who post to soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm ...

30. Are SM people subjected to political or social harassment?: Like all alternate sexualities, SM is stigmatized in many ways by ...

31. Aren't there too many topics on s.s.b-b?: Every now and then, someone posts to s.s.b-b asking why there are ...

32. I'm sick of certain topics on s.s.b-b. How can I avoid them? Also,what's with all these ads?: s.s.b-b, like all Usenet groups, has its share of flame wars. Many ...

33. I don't have access to soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm; what can I doto get information about the scene?: A question I've been getting more and more often as my FAQ ...

34. What is role-playing?: Most children know the thrill of dress-up, let's-pretend,...

35. What are some web sites/books/magazines/organizations/stores/newsarchives where I can get SM information or toys, or meet people in thescene?: This list is (permanently and congenitally) incomplete and needs all ...

35 Bondage Fiction books: Not all of the scenarios in these books are what I would ...

35 Bondage Organizations: First of all, people who read s.s.b-b or other ...

35 Mail-order houses: Most of these places require you to state that you're 21 or over ...

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