I just put down Ann's latest manifesto, and I am trembling with a heady mix of rage, indignation, and conservative ire (itself a combination of indignation and rage). Once again, Ann has brewed a steaming cauldron of truth, into which she gleefully tosses socialists, teachers, underly-conservative conservatives, overly-conservative conservatives, bleeding-heart firemen, pre-K freeloaders, race-baiting non-whites, gay supremacists, Santa-bashers, and those most cynical of media-seeking crones--the 9/11 widows. Reading this stream of semi-consciousness is like listening to the rants of a recent divorcee, or sitting next to a madwoman on a bus-- incisive and hilarious!
Here at last is a lawyer willing to stand up to the special interests of lawyers; a pundit who lays bare the vapid gravy train of punditry; a political intellectual who tirelessly attacks the political intellectuals who only know how to attack; a New York media millionaire who isn't afraid to expose the New York media millionaires' hypocrisy. By being the very thing against which she rails, Ann holds up not one but TWO mirrors to the liberals' extremist hellscape, creating an infinite fractal of self-perpetuating hate-thought. What a gift.
These meticulously re-published screeds are classic Coulter. Whether she's roasting FDR for his bungling of national security; bravely naming President Clinton's obvious homosexuality; or skewering the Canadians for their disastrous invasion of Vietnam, Ann is always in command of the facts. She practically invents them.
Some have questioned how a cocktail-swilling 50-something spinster has become a champion for traditional family values. These are the typical ad hominem attacks spewed by anti-American baby-hating liberal fascists. The only thing keeping Ann from her dream of maternity is the mirthless sarcasm she mistakes for wit, serrated vaginal teeth, and breast milk that is genetically indistinguishable from cobra venom. While these traits have kept her from suckling her own pit of wriggling youngsters, they didn't keep her from serving as wet-nurse to the Cheney family, when a young Liz was angrily demanding the teat.
For those brainwashed by the "facts" of the liberal lamestream, the America Ann presents will be hardly recognizable. You will probably look back with as much embarrassment as I did at the good will you used to feel toward your fellow Americans, and cringe at the optimism of our shared struggle to create a more perfect union. Was that really me? Yikes!
Thanks to Ann, I've learned to mistrust those who I'm told have ideas different from the ones I've been told to have. I turn a deaf ear to those too arrogant to listen to my point of view, and whose minds are filled with a hatred and suspicion that I can hardly comprehend. I imagine the things I would say to these people, had Ann not warned me against talking to them.
The left-wing hate machine will never understand the simple but profound beauty of Ann's message, but we on the right know that Ann is a gift, all too fleeting in this world. Souls like hers appear only once in a millennium, if that. Someday, she'll shed her mortal coil, claim her reward and vanish into a warm, glowing hereafter. But until then, she's our own little piece of hell on earth.
**********
Hey team! And by team, I'm not including Democrats, who would never play on a team unless it was a team playing against itself because they hate themselves and are totally STUPID and terrorists! LOL! Plus they're gay (ske-dooosh!)
But seriously. I took some totes justified heat for not including enough specific facts from Ann's book in my rave review. It's just that there are so many of them, and unlike Ann, I only have a normal-sized brain (twice as big as a Democrat's, though! Zing!)
Anyway. So here are a few real parts of history that I learned from reading Ann's AMAZINGLY well-researched, informative book. Like, remember Republicans' Southern Strategy, where they took advantage of the fact that Johnson had signed the Civil Rights Act to woo angry Southern white voters who didn't want black kids attending their schools, drinking from their fountains, and swimming in their pools? And how the parties subsequently realigned, and the formerly Democratic South has been solidly Republican ever since, catered to by Republicans through racist dog whistles like "states' rights"? Well, neither does Ann! Cuz it DIDN'T HAPPEN, STUPID!! Invented by liberal "historians." There is NO RACISM left in the South! All those people died AGES AGO!!! Except for racist Democrats, of course. So why do blacks vote 90% Democratic? Because they're STUPID, STUPID!!! They'd have to be-- they're Democrats!! Snap!
Or here's something I learned. The National Rifle Association was started to protect blacks from Democrats-- and the only reason Democrats want gun control is so that blacks won't be able to protect themselves from racist homicidal Democrats! That's a fact! Don't believe it? Then you're STUPID!!!
By the way, the book is full of HILARIOUS slams on blacks and latinos, and how if Ann had her way, we'd only let Europeans into our country. But that DOESN'T MEAN ANN'S A RACIST. CUZ THEY'RE JOKES!!! Get it? If not, you're a stupid Democrat! Pow!
Oh oh oh, before I forget. Here's an AWESOME joke from Ann about racism. She says the O.J. verdict made us even for slavery!! Isn't that clever??? OMG, I was laughing so hard when I read that! (It's even funnier the way she tells it-- BUY THE BOOK!!!!)
Ann also totally rips the lid off every Democrat's favorite Democrat-- John Edwards! Too soon? Think again. This ripped-from-last-decade's-headlines story gets a fresh take from Ann, who thinks he was wrong and dishonest. Take that, Democrats! Still want to run him in 2016? Kaboom!!!
And speaking of timely commentary, Ann devotes several chapters to why you should have voted for Romney. Why are these articles relevant in a book published one year after the election? BECAUSE SHE TOLD YOU SO, STUPID!!! What are you, a Democrat? LMAO!!!!
Also, I didn't know until I read this book that Reagan was actually mean, just like Ann-- that's how he destroyed the Soviet Union. It had nothing to do with a collapsing oil market that drained the coffers of an over-extended and horrifically managed ideological dinosaur, causing it to collapse under the weight of its own stifling oppression. It was Reagan's mean-face! And his one-liners! If you don't know that, you're a STUPID DEMOCRAT!! Ha ha!!
Oh oh oh, another thing. Ann points out how Occupy Wall Street hooligans were STUPID and smelly and ugly and didn't know what they wanted. On the other hand, Tea Partiers are super smart and polite and politically astute. So TRUE!!!! You never saw shockingly stupid, racist, uninformed people at Tea Party rallies. NOT ONE!!!! And if you ever want cogent political analysis and smart, workable solutions to complex political problems, just turn a camera on one of these tri-pointed patriots. They want the government out of Social Security. Who doesn't?! They want their taxes lowered! And don't tell me taxes under Obama have been lower than they ever were under Reagan. That's totally missing the point! The point is that Obama WANTS to raise your taxes! How do we know? He's a DEMOCRAT!!! Read the book, STUPID!!!!
This is just the tip of the iceberg-- there are so many amazing facts that you will NEVER hear anywhere else.
The dummy Democrats are always trying to put their spin on Ann--as an intellectual snake oil peddler, pandering to the prejudices of a sinking lower middle class; a scorned high school nerd trying to break into the mean-girl crowd three decades too late; or an aging blond barfly, telling off-color jokes for the dwindling attention of the 2 a.m. set. But that just shows how STUPID you are, Democrats!
She's not really blond!! SKEDOOOSH!!!!!!
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Reviews with images
YOU READ ONE, YOU'VE READ THEM ALL.
Judging her books by their covers, I'd say Ms Coulter is a covergirl-wannabe who now sings for her supper as spiteful demagogue. Personally, I think the Pied-Piper of Hamelin was cuter!
Top reviews from other countries
Malgorzata Lesniewska
fantastic
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 20, 2013