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Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It Hardcover – May 17, 2016
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This international bestseller, with more than 3 million copies sold, offers a field-tested approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom, in your community, or at home.
Life is a series of negotiations, and negotiation is at the heart of collaboration—whether you are a business executive, a salesperson, a parent , a community leader, or a spouse. As a former FBI hostage negotiator, Chris Voss gives you the tools to be effective in any situation: negotiating a business deal, buying (or selling) a car, negotiating a salary, acquiring a home, renegotiating rent, deliberating with your partner, or communicating with your children. Taking the power of persuasion, empathy, active listening, and intuition to the next level, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any difficult conversation or challenging situation. This book is a masterclass in influencing others, no matter the circumstances.
After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a hostage negotiator brought him face-to-face with a range of criminals, including bank robbers and terrorists. Reaching the pinnacle of his profession, he became the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator. Never Split the Difference distills the Voss method, revealing the skills that matter most when it comes to achieving your goals in both your professional and personal life.
Step-by-step, Voss show you how to:
- Establish Rapport
- Create Trust with Tactical Empathy
- Gain the Permission to Persuade
- Shape What Is Fair
- Calibrate Questions
- Transform Conflict into Collaboration
- Spot Liars
- Create Breakthroughs by Revealing the Unknown Unknowns
Never Split the Difference is your definitive source for defusing potential crises, winning people over, and achieving your goals at work and at home.
- Print length288 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherHarper Business
- Publication dateMay 17, 2016
- Dimensions1.3 x 6.3 x 9.1 inches
- ISBN-100062407805
- ISBN-13978-0062407801
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Get to know this book
What's it about?
A former FBI hostage negotiator shares the secrets of successful negotiations, from saving lives to closing deals.Popular highlight
Research shows that the best way to deal with negativity is to observe it, without reaction and without judgment. Then consciously label each negative feeling and replace it with positive, compassionate, and solution-based thoughts.35,625 Kindle readers highlighted thisPopular highlight
The goal is to identify what your counterparts actually need (monetarily, emotionally, or otherwise) and get them feeling safe enough to talk and talk and talk some more about what they want.35,080 Kindle readers highlighted thisPopular highlight
To get real leverage, you have to persuade them that they have something concrete to lose if the deal falls through.32,133 Kindle readers highlighted thisPopular highlight
Going too fast is one of the mistakes all negotiators are prone to making.30,691 Kindle readers highlighted this
From the Publisher
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Editorial Reviews
Review
Former FBI Hostage Negotiator Chris Voss has few equals when it comes to high stakes negotiations. Whether for your business or your personal life, his techniques work.” — Joe Navarro, FBI Special Agent (Ret.) and author of the international bestseller, What Every Body is Saying
Chatty and friendly and packed with helpful resources, this is an intriguing approach to business and personal negotiations. — Publishers Weekly
"Such a great book that is relevant to more than just FBI negotiations: it's relevant to my relationship with my partner, to my business, to everything in between." — Steven Bartlett, entrepreneur and host of the Diary of a CEO podcast
"It's rare that a book is so gripping and entertaining while still being actionable and applicable." — Inc.
"A business book you won't be able to put down." — Fortune
From the Back Cover
A field-tested, game-changing approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom or at home.
Never Split the Difference is a riveting, indispensable handbook of negotiation principles culled and perfected from Chris Voss’s remarkable career as a hostage negotiator and later as an award-winning teacher in the world’s most prestigious business schools. From policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, to becoming the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator to teaching negotiation at leading universities, Voss has tested these techniques across the full spectrum of human endeavor and proved their effectiveness. Those who have benefited from these techniques include business clients generating millions in additional profits, MBA students getting better jobs, and even parents dealing with their kids.
Never Split the Difference provides a gripping, behind-the-scenes recounting of dramatic scenarios from the gang-infested streets of Haiti to a Brooklyn bank robbery gone horribly wrong, revealing the negotiation strategies that helped Voss and his colleagues succeed where it mattered most: saving lives. As a world-class negotiator, Voss shows you how to use these skills in the workplace and in every other realm of your life.
Life is a series of negotiations: whether buying a car, getting a better raise, buying a home, renegotiating rent, or deliberating with your partner, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion.
Advance praise for Never Split The Difference
“This book blew my mind. It’s a riveting read, full of instantly actionable advice—not just for high-stakes negotiations, but also for handling everyday conflicts at work and at home.”—Adam Grant, Wharton Professor and New York Times bestselling author of originals and give and take
“Emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence without sacrificing deal-making power. From the pen of a former hostage negotiator—someone who couldn’t take no for an answer—which makes it fascinating reading. But it’s also eminently practical. In these pages, you will find the techniques for getting the deal you want.”—Daniel H. Pink, bestselling author of To Sell Is Human and Drive
“Former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss has few equals when it comes to high-stakes negotiations. Whether for your business or your personal life, his techniques work.”—Joe Navarro, FBI Special Agent (Ret.) and author of the international bestseller What Every Body Is Saying
“Your business—basically your entire life—comes down to your performance in crucial conversations, and these tools will give you the edge you need. . . .It’s required reading for my employees because I use the lessons in this book every single day, and I want them to, too.”—Jason McCarthy, CEO of GORUCK
About the Author
Chris Voss is one of the preeminent practitioners and professors of negotiation skills in the world. He is the founder and principal of The Black Swan Group, a consulting firm that provides training and advises Fortune 500 companies through complex negotiations. He currently teaches at the University of Southern California’s Marshall School of Business and Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business, and has lectured at other leading universities, including Harvard Law School, the MIT Sloan School of Management, and Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management.
Tahl Raz uncovers big ideas and great stories that ignite change and growth in people and organizations. He is an award-winning journalist and co-author of the New York Times bestseller Never Eat Alone. When not researching or writing, he coaches executives, lectures widely on the forces transforming the new world of work, and serves as an editorial consultant for several national firms. He invites readers to e-mail him at tr@tahlraz.com and to visit his website at www.tahlraz.com.
Product details
- Publisher : Harper Business; 1st edition (May 17, 2016)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 288 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0062407805
- ISBN-13 : 978-0062407801
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 1.3 x 6.3 x 9.1 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #317 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #2 in Business Negotiating (Books)
- #4 in Communication Skills
- #16 in Success Self-Help
- Customer Reviews:
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About the authors
Tahl Raz is a storyteller of big ideas in business, technology and the social sciences that are transforming the way we work and live. An award-winning journalist and best-selling author, he has edited and published in everything from Inc. Magazine and GQ to Harvard Business Review and the Jerusalem Post. Management guru Tom Peters called his first co-authored book, “Never Eat Alone,” one of “the most extraordinary and valuable business books” of recent history. The book is still in hardcover over a decade later and is now used as a textbook in MBA programs around the world. He has held roles as a Chief Content Officer, CEO of an online education company called MyGreenLight, and founder and editor-in-chief of Jewcy Media. He lives in New York City with his wife, daughter, and a very fat Pug named Bibi.
A 24 year veteran of the FBI, Chris Voss is one of the preeminent practitioners and professors of negotiating skills in the world. He is the founder and principal of The Black Swan Group, a consulting firm that provides training and advises Fortune 500 companies through complex negotiations. Voss has taught for many business schools, including the University of Southern California’s Marshall School of Business, Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business, Harvard University, MIT’s Sloan School of Management, and Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management, among others.
Customer reviews
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To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.
Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book very useful and practical for learning negotiation techniques. They also say the examples are counterintuitive, but simple and easy to follow. Readers say the book helps them understand their situation, their reactions, and how it all works together. They describe it as very easy to read and follow, with engaging theories on communication and actionable recommendations. They mention that the book is full of useful negotiation techniques and stories that illustrate various techniques.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book highly educational and engaging. They say it provides great insight into how to perform best in negotiations and also how to interact with others. Readers also say the book gives exact details into techniques, real world examples, and psychological aspects. They mention that the book is powerful.
"...to the loss of lives, Was published in May of 2016 and is an extremely powerful book that tells the stories of negotiation when you really can’t..." Read more
"...are both simple enough to follow and understand, but also tied to real world examples he talks about...." Read more
"...The book provides practical advice applicable to various areas of life, whether you're a parent, partner, manager, or entrepreneur...." Read more
"...I’ve been struck again and again by how valuable these seemingly simple approaches can be...." Read more
Customers find the book very easy to read and follow. They appreciate the step-by-step guidance and structure. They also say the language is complex, but the book is engaging and full of information that definitely will help. Readers also mention that the key notes at the end of each chapter make it easier to go back and study.
"...Each chapter includes engaging theories on communication and actionable recommendations on how to improve your communication skills, while telling..." Read more
"...in the art of negotiation, and his steps are both simple enough to follow and understand, but also tied to real world examples he talks about...." Read more
"...The structure of the book is good, with each chapter concluding with a summary that highlights the key points...." Read more
"...This is a remarkably engaging book, that reads like a novel, complete with reports of Voss’s gripping experiences chosen to highlight what he teaches..." Read more
Customers find the book full of useful negotiation techniques and say it helped them negotiate their salary.
"...Chris Voss hit the mark with this book, sharing effective tips and tools for negotiating in and beyond your workspace. “..." Read more
"...Chris Voss is a master in the art of negotiation, and his steps are both simple enough to follow and understand, but also tied to real world..." Read more
"...read for commerce or entrepreneurship students and covers negotiating in a collaborative setting...." Read more
"...they have a pretty nice blog that provides great additional information about negotiation strategies as well some paid training courses...." Read more
Customers find the book full of engaging stories that illustrate various techniques. They also say the hostage scenes described are brilliant, scary, and captivating. Readers also say it's fun, challenging, and rewarding.
"...This book is a fun read full of useful information...." Read more
"...This is an wonderful book, filled with anecdotes from some of the most intense situations a person can be in, that of a hostage situation, and I..." Read more
"...They are not gimmicks and feel nice techniques, they are personal and financial game changers." Read more
"I enjoyed reading this book. The individual stories within each chapter were interesting...." Read more
Customers find the examples in the book useful, relatable, and easy to read. They also say it's perfect for educators, instructors, and presenters. Readers also mention that the book is formulaic, making it immensely practical for legal professionals.
"...Breaks down the steps with great explanations and specific examples." Read more
"Such an excellent read on negotiation, practical to implement and very relatable...." Read more
"This book has so many life nuggets that I have to read again. Great read for those whose first instinct is to avoid conflict for “peace”." Read more
"...Plus, the examples are really cool." Read more
Customers find the book helpful in understanding their situation, their reactions, and how it all works together. They say it's an important book for everyone, great for daily relationships, and working with people in general. Customers also mention that the book is engaging, empathetic, and practical. They appreciate the author's generous praise for others and mention that it'll teach them to be humble.
"...Because of the strong lessons in this book, I believe it would be a great book for most young people to read...." Read more
"...calls the “late-night, FM DJ voice”: it is non-threating, soft, and calming...." Read more
"Practical, empathetic and completely different approach from most negotiating advice...." Read more
"...It builds on empathy and active listening skills, layers on ways to label emotions and ask open-ended calibrated questions...." Read more
Customers find the book brings the concepts and tactics to life. They also appreciate the author's convincing command of the subject matter. Readers also say the book is practical, actionable, and intrepid. They say it's not about casting spells or manipulation, and that they won't have to compromise their integrity when applying these principles.
"...Each chapter includes engaging theories on communication and actionable recommendations on how to improve your communication skills, while telling..." Read more
"...a negotiation, one Voss calls the “late-night, FM DJ voice”: it is non-threating, soft, and calming...." Read more
"...how the book breaks down negotiation tactics into digestible, actionable insights...." Read more
"...Great applicable guide that is honest and easy to follow." Read more
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Prior to 2008, Chris Voss was the lead international kidnapping negotiator for the FBI. According to The Black Swan Group, through his 28 year with the Bureau, he was trained in negotiation by the FBI, Scotland Yard and Harvard Law School. Chris has taught business negotiation in the MBA program in several of the world’s best universities and business programs. Voss continues to host seminars and attend guest lectures and is rumored to be working on additional books.
“Never Split the Difference”, a euphemism for “never compromise” because compromise on the street often leads to the loss of lives, Was published in May of 2016 and is an extremely powerful book that tells the stories of negotiation when you really can’t afford to lose, like in a situation where you are negotiating for the lives of others. Each chapter includes engaging theories on communication and actionable recommendations on how to improve your communication skills, while telling intriguing stories of the life of an FBI agent. These stories include bank robberies, terrorists and a bunch of different “bad guys”. This book will not only help your business deals, but your personal relationships as well. Voss gives us more than just the advice on what to do, he shows us why they work as well.
This book is a fun read full of useful information. The new concepts in every chapter had me highlighting the techniques and lessons that I truly wanted to remember. The most important to me, being that you should never be so eager to solve a conflict that’s result is inconvenient for you. Accepting bad deals is almost always a mistake. Compromise isn’t always the answer, while pushing for a hard “yes” doesn’t get you any closer to a victory, it only angers the other party. And finally, “Driving towards “that's right” is a winning strategy in all negotiations. But hearing “you're right” is a disaster.” (p. 105)
Overall this is a wonderful book that teaches the reader that negotiation, at its core, is nothing more than conversations with reactions and results. Getting what you need from others will help set up the rest of your life. Chriss Voss will teach you how to take authority and show dominance in the conversations that will make or break your career. Because of the strong lessons in this book, I believe it would be a great book for most young people to read. Whether they are beginning their college career or creating their own blue-collar business, “Never Split the Difference” by Chris Voss is a great resource for people looking to better their life without looking for a designated “self-help” book. Remember: “... without self-control and emotional regulation…” (p 156) these strategies will not work.
That said, this book was something that once I started reading, I couldn't put down. Chris Voss is a master in the art of negotiation, and his steps are both simple enough to follow and understand, but also tied to real world examples he talks about. In every chapter he talks about some of his biggest failures and greatest successes, and how he took to negotiation and the concepts that came with it.
If you want a story, while I was reading this book, I was going through a very tough point in my career. For several years I had worked in a department that was basically seen as the baby in the company, on a side-project that while lucrative had just 30 clients where our main products had over 1,000. My boss for years barely noticed me or what we did in our department, he managed two products himself, the bigger of the two in the larger customer base. For 3 years, I basically ran everything in the department, doing what I needed to do, being the go-to for people well above my role in anything my product needed. I enjoyed it. Eventually the company started to take note of this products success, and wanted to ramp it up. My boss, eager to take credit for the departments success, started taking a more active role, despite having almost little to no understanding of what we actually did. He was making questionable decisions and often impossible requests that highlighted just how little he knew. He was impossible to work with in this, because he was very much a my-way-or-the-highway kind of guy when it came to management, and would get frustrated by anything other than a firm yes to a request. In short, he was tanking the department I sunk my last 3 years in, and making my life miserable having to constantly either shoulder or make up for his unusual requests. Everything became a fight, including at one point a simple request for me to focus my time on a large project for a client I was traveling to visit in 3 days became a no (because it wasn't his idea) and ended with him hurling papers around the room and throwing me out of his office. He was a bad manager, a traffic cop who you'd only hear from when he thought you were doing something wrong, but like many people can relate to, he was also *my* manager, and he wasn't going anywhere. I had to do something about it.
The book had many situations that related to the situation I was going into. A stubborn, unreasonable person, but at least they weren't holding anyone at random. In many ways, I was doing things that may have seemed like to my boss that I was undermining him. Chris Voss talks about the same story of a brilliant young agent who earned the ire of a field office director (and that agents direct supervisor) for a similar situation. Chris talked about a situation where the agent came to him for help in needing to discuss with their boss a request they knew would have sank like a lead balloon on any good day. I was in that same situation. Chris described the techniques needed to discuss the issue with their boss. It worked.
I tried the same techniques. The next time an impossible request came through, I discussed it with my manager. I started with "I'm sorry," one of the things Chris talks about in his book. I followed in so many words with "how am I supposed to do that?" I made my problem *his* problem. It was now his job and his responsibility to solve the issue he presented in his request. All without him knowing that just happened. It sounds so deceptively stupid, I thought starting off with "I'm sorry" and asking "how am I supposed to do that?" would be seen as oppositional, but you know what? It actually worked. He didn't know how to solve the problem he just gave me. We talked about it and floated solutions, and I planted the seeds in his head on alternatives, using other techniques described in the book. The discussion ended with him basically saying "that's right" and I got the solution I wanted out of the situation, and in the end, my boss left with the impression that it was his idea. That manager and I still never got along very well, and eventually he moved away from my department completely, but at least I had the tools needed for him and I to be able to communicate and work together.
I'd have to thank Chriss Voss. The techniques in my book in my situation didn't save anybody's life from a kidnapper or get a bank robber to stand down, but it probably saved my career. This book is for everybody.
The book provides practical advice applicable to various areas of life, whether you're a parent, partner, manager, or entrepreneur. It's a must-read for anyone, particularly those involved in business development, people management, freelancing, or parenting—essentially, anyone looking to enhance their negotiation skills.
After reading the book, my favorite ChatGPT prompt has become:
"I want…. given [plenty of background].
Advise me in line with the book: Never Split the Difference."
Even with a hectic schedule over the past month, I found myself looking forward to my nightly reading sessions, regardless of how tired I was. This speaks volumes about the book's captivating and insightful content. The structure of the book is good, with each chapter concluding with a summary that highlights the key points.
Some of my favorite quotes from the book include:
- “Prepare, prepare, prepare. When the pressure is on, you don’t rise to the occasion; you fall to your highest level of preparation.”
- “Never be so sure of what you want that you wouldn’t take something better.”
In summary, "Never Split the Difference" is an insightful and invaluable resource that I highly recommend to everyone.
Top reviews from other countries
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I suggested that to my kids.
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/S/amazon-avatars-global/54b2ea74-f737-4f98-b44d-768701b7216b._CR0,0,740,740_SX48_.jpg)
Não que seja um problema pra mim. Mas a capa do livro vem totalmente simples, apenas em vermelho.
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All the topics started with author's real life experience and how he tackled that situation using his skills. He did indeed acquired impressive set of skills from his long standing career with FBI.
Unlike others, this book is more practical oriented and everything you read you can apply inyour day to day life. Overall this book should be next to you as a life reference book.
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Can implement directly