We are only 13 days into 2017, but it's obvious that this year is coming for the "Doing the Most" crown. In the form of a Jeopardy! answer, 2017 is "What is 'The year that is probably just an SNL sketch gone rogue.'"
Speaking of Jeopardy!, the venerable game show apparently didn't want to be left out of the stunt brigade that is this year. Last night's categories featured such internet-culture-friendly categories as "Dad Bod," "Squad Goals," and, hilariously, "Yas Queen."
Now, of course, so much of internet culture comes directly from African-American Vernacular English so, in essence, last night Jeopardy! became the SNL sketch "Black Jeopardy!" #ICant #GirlWhut.
In a year that has already brought us Paul Ryan dabbing (#HeTriedIt)...
...Joseph Fiennes as Michael Jackson (#AreWeStillDoingThis?)...
...and a press conference for a table full of empty file folders (#RealFakeNews), this Jeopardy! development really takes the cake.
I'm, like, living for it but also, like, dying inside. I'm a meme of Schrödinger's cat.
On one hand, Jeopardy! doesn't have the range. On the other hand, I need Alex Trebek saying "Yas queen" as my ringtone immediately. He is giving you silver fox, fresh off a divorce, first time at Fire Island realness. #WhatIsSugarDaddy
I think Jeopardy! should just lean into this new style of category. Let me write all your internet-related category headlines. #GetYourPaper
Some examples:
Category: Shade
Sample prompt: "Calling all bibliophiles! According to RuPaul, the best time to throw shade is when this is open."
"What is 'The library,' Alex?"
Category: Uncle Joe
Prompts: This category is literally all dad jokes.
"I'll take 'Uncle Joe' for $400."
"This is a dentist's favorite time of day."
"Ugh. What is 'Tooth-hurty'?"
"Sorry. And yes. You're correct. Sorry, everyone."
Category: Is Canceled
Sample prompt: "This artist is so pressed but keeps trying it even though we're totally over it."
"Who is Azealia Banks?"
"Sure. Whatever. That'll work."
Category: Receipts
Sample prompt: "This artist got called out for manufacturing a celeb beef via Snapchat and now they are never, ever, ever getting back together."
"Who is TayTay?"
"Yas queen. Love her, though."
Category: I Don't Know Her
Sample prompt: "Who is Jennifer Lopez?"
"Who is Jennifer Lopez?"
"Please state your answer in the form of a question."
"What is 'Who is Jennifer Lopez'?"
Category: Shewk
Sample prompt: "Joe Jonas just released an underwear photo shoot for Guess."
"What is, 'I am 1980s realness softcore shewk'?"
Category: Doing the Most
Sample prompt: "This television show has been feeling its sassy oats lately and, tbh, I'm kind of feeling it."
"What is 'Jeopardy!'?"
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R. Eric Thomas is a columnist for ELLE.com, where he skewers politics, pop culture, celebrity shade, and schadenfreude. He is also the author of Here for It: Or, How to Save Your Soul in America, a memoir-in-essays.
