The news site Semafor got hold of a memo containing a proposal for how the Democratic party should select its replacement candidate should the president decide to leave the race. Believe me when I tell you this: You could put the Ringling Brothers, Barnum, and Bailey to work on the problem and they couldn’t come up with a bigger circus than the one proposed in this memo. Just reading it made me long for the days of the smoke-filled hotel room, and it had me burning incense and chanting in order to commune with the spirit of Mark Hanna. Look at this mess.

Biden would step down as the Democratic nominee in mid-July, and announce the new system, with backing from Vice President Kamala Harris.
Potential candidates would have a few days to throw their respective hats in the ring. The Democratic Party then would begin a primary sprint in which the six candidates who receive the most votes from delegates pledge to run positive-only campaigns in the month leading up to the convention.
The “blitz primary” would involve weekly forums with each candidate moderated by cultural icons (Michelle Obama, Oprah, and Taylor Swift are among the names floated in the memo) in order to engage voters.
The nominee would ultimately be chosen by the delegates using ranked choice voting before the start of the Chicago convention on Aug. 19.
It would be announced with plenty of fanfare on the third day of the gathering. The memo imagines the nominee unveiled on stage with Biden, Barack Obama and Bill Clinton.
According to its authors, the country would be captivated. Donations would pour in. And Biden would be celebrated as a “modern-day George Washington,” the proponents argue.
[Narrator: No, he would not.]
“We can limp to shameful, avoidable democracy-ending defeat. Or Democrats can make this Our Finest Hour. While we hope for help from Lord Almighty, the Lord helps those who help themselves,” the memo states, alluding to Biden’s recent interview with ABC anchor George Stephanopoulos in which he said only the “Lord Almighty” could force him from the race. “We need to act. Now.”

Do I have to enumerate the number of ways this plan is suicidal? Do I have to point out the thousands of cracks through which Republican mischief could enter this process? Do I have to make a list of all the opportunities for bad political journalism that this plan provides? And do I really have to say, loudly, “TAYLORF*CKINGSWIFT????????” Who dealt this swill anyway?

The proposal is the work of Rosa Brooks, a Georgetown University law professor who served in the Obama and Clinton administrations and as a volunteer policy adviser to the Biden campaign in 2020, and Ted Dintersmith, a venture capitalist and education philanthropist who has donated to various Democratic campaigns. They want Biden to flip the script on the current Washington narrative of a Democratic Party in chaos and for the party to see the current period as an opportunity for a reset. “In the midst of malaise and crisis, we can forge an uplifting path,” Dintersmith told Semafor.

Brooks is someone of whom I am vaguely aware, especially on the issue of police reform, where she’s done some fine work, and because she is the daughter of the irreplaceable Barbara Ehrenreich. In this, however, she seems to have succumbed to an advanced case of Sorkin syndrome, in which the patient is swept up in a fantasy that there are people of goodwill running politics at the moment. It’s her coauthor who really concerns me. I think American politics would benefit immeasurably if the venture-capitalist crowd would simply leave their checkbooks with the attendants and get the hell out. You made a lot of money? Fine, give us some and there’s the door. These people are suffering from a different strain of Sorkin syndrome. They believe that all that money can make their delusions come to life. They believe that because their money can buy practically everything else, it can also buy political peace and goodwill toward men.

President Joe Biden is the nominee. And if he isn’t, then Vice President Kamala Harris is. Taylor Swift and/or Oprah will not be needed at this time.