Reading story treatments gives a glimpse into Star Treks that could have been, and it’s fitting to spend some time with Harve Bennett’s first version of what would become The Search for Spock as the 40th anniversary of that film just passed.

I am not going to summarize the pitch — hit the download link and enjoy the story in Bennett’s own words — but I will share some reflections on it.

Romulans would have been better. The casting of Christopher Lloyd as Kruge still divides fans. Lloyd threw himself into the role and there are bits of the performance I quite like, but seeing him on screen sometimes pulls me out of the movie. Oddly, that does not happen when watching him as Doc Brown.

But even putting aside the choice of actor, I would have preferred to have a badass Romulan on the movie screen. We had seen two Romulan commanders by that point, in Balance of Terror and The Enterprise Incident, and both were standout characters, full of charm and menace, and the movie could have given us a third antagonist on that level. 

The Vulcan plot is a misfire. Bennett’s outline had an open revolt taking place on Vulcan as many demanded secession from the Federation in response to the “implications of universal Armageddon” represented by Genesis. Some fans like the political tension of this subplot, including Robert Myer Burnett. According to this Gizmodo article, Burnett felt the idea made this a more “serious, ‘perilous’ and above all epic story.” It’s possible Bennett’s eventual script would have added some great stuff about this threat to the Federation but in the outline this story goes nowhere; the Enterprise diverts to Vulcan and then a ship from that planet drops McCoy back on the Enterprise. You could cut those bits out and not affect the story at all. 

More importantly, I don’t believe the existence of Genesis would prompt Vulcan to leave the Federation. Rather the opposite: the existential threat of enemies exploiting the technology makes it a logical imperative that the Federation remain united and resolute. I am glad this idea was dropped. 

I also don’t like Saavik’s declaration of love. Look, Kirk is a sexy guy, but not every woman has to fall for him. Gillian Taylor’s rebuff is one of the best bits in The Voyage Home. In Star Trek II, there is no hint that Saavik is attracted to Kirk, so her admission here that “she has always loved Jim Kirk” is simply unnecessary. 

So, a spy ship was equipped for large-scale mining? The Bird of Prey is described as “a spy ship, deep in enemy territory” but the discovery of dilithium transforms its crew into miners who, somehow, have all the equipment necessary for large-scale mineral extraction. That simply doesn’t make sense. 

The idea that a ship could run a major mining operation worked in JJ Abrams’ 2009 film because the Narada had been a mining vessel. It could pull minerals off a planet. I don’t buy a spy ship doing the same.

Bennett nailed the big beats right off. The treatment delivered the two significant moments that would later appear in The Search for Spock: the team stealing the Enterprise after Scotty sabotaged the Excelsior and Kirk destroying his ship after tricking most of the enemy into boarding. Bennett knew how to deliver memorable scenes. 

It’s great to see Sulu get so much to do. Sulu is one of the primary movers of the plot — and how often can we say that?

Ghost Spock and the “transcendental state” make less sense than the movie’s katra. Suspending disbelief is one thing; moviegoers had to stretch that muscle to accept the idea of a katra, the content of an entire life that could be copied through a mental link that lasted only as long as it takes to mutter “Remember.” Bennett’s outline asked people to go further, because he provides even less foundation for the survival of Spock’s personality and memories. Sarek says Spock may still exist in a “transcendental state” without explaining how that works.  

And then people start seeing ghost Spock. First McCoy, then Kirk, and then the rest of the main crew encounter the first officer. Kirk even tries to talk to him.

It is suggested the sightings are real, and not simply wishful thinking brought about by grief. So, somehow the feral Spock who lives on Genesis is projecting his presence across space — or something. And that’s just silly. Again, Bennett may have fleshed out this idea but I can’t think of any way that ghost Spock would have worked. 

But even with a few faults, Bennett’s outline is quite good. Many of the best beats in the finished movie are here, and I like his description of the Romulan commander as “a handsome, swarthy man with a dignity reminiscent of the 20th Century actor Omar Sharif… the Romulan is of blood and passion. His mission is intelligence.” I really wish we had met that character. 

And Bennett even repurposed a good line from the previous movie, with Saavik telling Kirk “Self-expression has never been one of your problems…” It’s a nice touch.