Does anyone regret having kids?

First, I’d like to say that your feelings are valid. I’m sorry that this is how you’re feeling and also glad that you’re being honest with yourself. Being a parent is just a new stage in life and you’re right, nothing is ever the same. I didn’t really think about having kids until I met my husband, and we’re doing great co parenting. I think that has a lot of influence on how parenthood will affect you individually. Yes, we do the same things as before but the experiences are different and the amount of work is insane. Working on our mindset can have a positive impact on how we view, perceive and experience things. Accepting that things will never be the same is difficult and maybe only time will help to enjoy this new stage in life as parents. Not everyone enjoys it all, all the time or right away. It’s a journey and I hope you can find ways to embrace bits of it. Ask for help and accept it from those around you so that you can enjoy some of the things that you did before becoming a parent or just to help your mental health.

Is returning to work an option? I love my baby boy, but love him even more when I can have some time away and use my brain at work. We have so much fun before and after work and on my days off. I feel we get more quality time and I'm more present. Can you also get family or a babysitter to give you a couple of hours off per week so you can engage in a hobby or one of your solitary activities?

Being a SAHM is not right for everyone and there’s no shame in it. Go back to work if you can. Also, have your husband take the baby on his own for part of the weekend so you can sit and read for an hour or go see friends. It’s his baby too and his life should absolutely change.

I've always wanted kids but I certainly didn't want twins. And I don't feel bad saying that because it's hard AF. We planned on 2 kids total. My daughter was 3 when we tried for our second pregnancy and I got pregnant with twins. So we went from 1 kid to 3. My 3 year old was starting preschool on a scholarship so I would've continued working and I would've only had to pay for 1 kid in daycare. But I had to become a SAHM because daycare for 2 babies would've taken everything I made. I had to buy a bigger vehicle for 3 carseats. We bought a 3 bedroom house with the intent of having 2 kids. I love our house but we're moving next year because we just don't have enough space. Having twins has changed a lot for us, financially and mentally. I couldn't enjoy the newborn phase as much as I did with my first baby because I was too busy to enjoy it. It felt like nothing but work and no reward. It's gotten a lot easier but it's definitely been rough.

your feelings are valid. I went through all of that after i had my first. I wish we waited before we had her due to a lot of things that snowballed after having her, but I love our 2 babies to bits and I'm trying to convince my dh for a 3rd!

Its absolutely okay to miss your old life. We are giving up a lot right now. I told my husband this weekend that if it were just two of us we would just be watching TV quietly while lying on the couch and it would be an amazing Sunday. This doesn't discount in any way the love I feel for my son.

I have had similar feelings as yours many times. I was at my best weight wise before I conceived my son. I looked and felt really good. Now I have 20kgs to lose. So I hear you!

I agree with previous posters, my work really helps me regain the energy I need to interact and play with my little guy when he gets back home from daycare. I would have gone crazy without it.

Do I regret having kids? No. Do I miss my life before kids? Absolutely. Money wasn’t tight. I could sleep in. I could actually finish a cup of coffee. We could go out with friends at the drop of a hat or stay late at family functions without worrying about kids having meltdowns because it’s their bedtime. I had time for hobbies and time to decompress. That doesn’t happen now so I’m just a ball of stress all the time. But I do love my kids and I know this is all just a phase of life. Soon enough they’ll be teenagers and hate me and then they’ll be moving out and the house will be too quiet.

I don’t regret it at all. I definitely do miss the things you mentioned, I love alone time, hiking, waking up slow, etc. all of that is kind of non existent with a baby. I recall you saying your MIL wanted her for a sleepover, maybe not that but maybe you could let her or someone watch your girl for a bit so you can get some you time? It’s still so important for us to try and get time to ourselves when we can. And like some other posters said, going back to work helped them too. I am a SAHM, so I feel you, but I find the small moments where I do something even for a couple hours recharges me when i get back home. I don’t do it enough though. As for things like camping, that will get a lot more fun when the kids are older. We have camped with my husbands daughter who was 8 at the time and it was nice. But I think even much younger than that would be fun lol. For me I found going to the pool was miserable for me this past summer, as she almost always needed a nap or was cranky so I was trying to soothe and nap her while everyone else splashed around. I know that’ll get better in the coming years though

A lot of women feel the way you do. It’s very normal and common. In comparison, I’ve wanted to be a mom my WHOLE entire life. Literally all I have ever dreamed of. And I am struggling. I don’t regret having kids, but I think about everything you just mentioned everyday, multiple times a day. It’s even harder bc I feel like I’ve let myself down, because I’m living my dream, yet I think “this is it?”

Also waiting for it to get better soon.

All those things you mentioned you miss doing, will happen again. Probably before you know it. Hang in there❤️