Sound Bites

”One third of American women agree baseball was more exciting when it was on strike.”
— TV Nation poll

”The death penalty goes into effect here in New York tonight at midnight … And you know something, that’s not going to help our ratings at all.”
— Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”McDonald’s is opening its first kosher restaurant in Israel. It’ll also be the first McDonald’s to have the new Never-Happy Meal.”
— Larry (Garry Shandling) on The Larry Sanders Show

”That is the oldest-looking mosh pit I’ve ever seen. I think I saw my stockbroker in there.”
— Jon Stewart, surveying the crowd, on The Concert for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame