Jim Mullen's Hot Sheet

1 MIKE TYSON His next bout’s on ”free” TV. I wouldn’t watch if it was on ”pay-me-to-view.”

2 CANADIAN BACON John Candy’s last film. Unless they put him in The Crow 2.

3 SEVEN A serial killer matches wits with Brad Pitt. We’re all gonna die.

4 CLAUDE X An unknown man keeps showing up in photos with French presidents. Oh, my God! It’s Bill Clinton!

5 CORNHUSKERS Two Nebraska footballers could go to jail. The team’s changing its nickname from ”Big Red” to ”Big House.”

6 SHOWGIRLS We don’t need this Hollywood filth about strippers and lap dancers in our town. It might take business away from our topless bars.

7 ANGUS The high school misfit is elected prom king. That’s a twist. In most high schools, they make him the principal.

8 CENTRAL PARK WEST The much-hyped premiere got mugged in the ratings. Perhaps they should call it Central Park.

9 BOY GEORGE’S AUTOBIOGRAPHY He squandered his fortune on drugs and fast living. Join the pop-culture club.

10 BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY After 162 weeks, it’s off The New York Times best-seller list. Now we know how long it takes for every woman in America to buy a book.

11 BUTTMASTER DANCERS They hawk Suzanne Somers’ new gadget. We’ve heard of starting at the bottom — but as one?

12 FULL-SCALP NUDITY Burt Reynolds appears sans wig in Striptease. We’ll see how much of that stuff on his back is his.

13 UNSTRUNG HEROES A kid living with two loony uncles. How can a kid tell when someone else is acting funny?

14 TV-VIOLENCE REPORT Kiddie shows take a hit. But isn’t it worth a little emotional damage to sell tons of sugar-coated cereal?

15 THE MISS AMERICA PAGEANT The public voted to keep the swimsuit competition. Colin Powell came in second.