Sound Bites

”Are you ever distracted by the sight of Ted Turner and Jane Fonda making out in the stands?”

Calvert DeForest, to Atlanta Brave Chipper Jones, on Late Show

”Madonna was outraged this week when a tabloid photographer shot a picture of her while she was breastfeeding … Apparently the baby was blocking her nipple.”

Norm MacDonald on Saturday Night Live

”Why would she stab her boyfriend in the ear — the magic was gone?”

Mulder (David Duchovny), doubting that a woman killed her boyfriend, on The X-Files

”Yesterday, Bob Dole blamed voter apathy as the reason he’s so far behind President Clinton. Unfortunately, a new poll shows people don’t really care about voter apathy.”

Conan O’Brien on Late Night