Sound Bites

”Doctors have discovered that deer hunters are at an unusually high risk for stress-related heart attacks. Also at high risk … the deer.”
Norm MacDonald on SNL

”One third think he’s gay, one third think he’s bi, and one third don’t care, they just want to kiss him.”
Brian (Scott Thompson), tallying his gay friends’ opinions of David Duchovny’s sexuality, on The Larry Sanders Show

”On Rolonda, a former classmate of Pamela Anderson Lee’s said that in high school, Pamela was extremely flat-chested. That’s shocking … I had no idea she graduated high school.”
Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”You ALWAYS come off so smart … If I had all the answers in front of me, I’d be the smart one.”
Jon Lovitz, to Alex Trebek, on Celebrity Jeopardy!