Soundbites

SOUNDBITES

”Warren Beatty is running for President. Ken Starr heard the news and started to unpack.” DAVID LETTERMAN on Late Show

”A lot of people are throwing up during The Blair Witch Project because of the shaky handheld camera. What no one has explained is why a lot of people are throwing up during Runaway Bride.” CONAN O’BRIEN on Late Night

”If you don’t get the best grades, don’t fret — I didn’t do too well in school and I’m a multimillionaire.” ADAM SANDLER on The 1999 Teen Choice Awards

”Bitter rival soccer teams Yugoslavia and Croatia met on the field for the first time in nine years Wednesday and, in keeping with the region’s proud tradition, no meaningful goals of any kind were scored.” JON STEWART on The Daily Show

”George W. Bush says he’s a ‘compassionate conservative.’ Isn’t that like a ‘vegetarian cannibal’?” JOY BEHAR on The View