Can ''Buffy'' revive UPN's moribund lineup?

OUT TO LAUNCH A word of caution to the ”Buffy the Vampire Slayer” gang: That giant sucking sound emanating from UPN isn’t an homage to your undead premise. In fact, the house of ”Smackdown!” has yet to capitalize on shows with built in buzz. Name recognition couldn’t save ”The Love Boat” or ”Dilbert”: Both sank after two seasons. Critics were willing to invest in ”The Beat,” last year’s edgy cop drama from ”Homicide” vets Tom Fontana and Barry Levinson, but UPN wasn’t: It axed the Mark Ruffalo starrer after only six episodes — a fact that peeved its pedigreed producer. ”UPN told me they spent no money on it at all. I never would have gone there if I had known they weren’t going to do any promos,” says Fontana. And despite scads of exposure from keyed up critics, UPN’s first reality show, ”Chains of Love,” is a weak link: A mere 2.3 million folks tuned in last week, down 28 percent from its April bow.

Still, UPN CEO Dean Valentine says life will be different for the Slayer: ”Like ‘Star Trek’ or the WWF, [‘Buffy’] comes complete with a fanatical core of viewers. Chances are very strong that they will follow wherever it goes,” he says. ”We hope not to lose a single viewer, and those that we do lose we hope to replace with a new audience — specifically guys.”

BUFF TRADE Now that Showtime has picked up another 20 episodes of the gay themed ”Queer as Folk,” star Hal Sparks wouldn’t mind taking some of the edge off the controversial show. ”I think [nudity on the show] is gratuitous and we don’t need it as much anymore,” says the former ”Talk Soup” host, who plays Michael. ”The important thing is that viewers accept these gay people as real sexual human beings, whether or not somebody sees my crank.”

Even so, exec producer Tony Jonas says ”Queer”’s second season, premiering in January, will be as nakedly honest as its first: ”We don’t want to lose the reality of the show, and part of the reality is nudity and explicit sexuality,” he says. Though the actors’ contracts require occasional nudity, Jonas insists, ”no one is forced to do sex [scenes] they don’t want to do.”

AND SO ON… Given the fact that Robert Downey Jr.’s legal problems kept him from finishing shooting on ”Ally McBeal,” producers still haven’t figured out how much of him you’ll see in the finale, airing May 21. (Look for Downey’s Larry and Calista Flockhart’s Ally to end their relationship.) Also headed for Splitsville is James LeGros (attorney Mark Albert), who told EW he won’t be returning next season. ”I know they’re going to be making some changes,” he says. ”This seems like the time to make a parting.” (A ”McBeal” spokesman declined to comment on any potential cast departures.) Here’s one thing we know for sure about the finale: KC and the Sunshine Band will be in the house!

Additional reporting by William Keck and Dan Snierson