A jealous Brynn dishes about boy-crazy Trishelle

A jealous Brynn dishes about boy-crazy Trishelle

When the roomies were first given a job at Rain, the Palms nightclub, Brynn complained that she had a terrible work ethic. But after the Oct. 22 episode, I realized that she was being too hard on herself: She really is a stick-to-it kinda gal — at least when it comes to her personal life.

Last week she nearly got herself thrown out of the house for her fork-you! to Steven. The average quitter, once welcomed back, might let the matter drop. But not our Brynn: She simply took a deep breath and then redirected her jealousy at Trishelle. You know that phrase, ”A quitter never wins, and a winner never quits”? Well, the same thing goes for psychos.

Brynn began the episode irritated with Trishelle. You see, boys talked to Trishelle and not to her, which sent her into a spiral of self-doubt. Ah, she shouldn’t be so hard on herself: Rain is a loud club, so the boys can’t hear Brynn holler ”I WILL GO HOME WITH JUST ABOUT ANYBODY!” that well. Turn the volume down so she’s audible, and there would be a line forming right behind Marc.

Meanwhile, the housemates were hard at work on Marc’s grueling assignment: to come up with things that a devil and an angel could do at a party. It’s a friggin’ Vegas club party — how creative do you need to be? The list of ideas begins and ends with ”Give out shots.” And because I’m an Idea Man, here’s a bonus: The devil’s shots could be…red!

As the party idea percolated, Brynn proved once again what an irreplaceable employee she was. Sure, she had her down moments, like when she was concerned she wouldn’t look good in her party lingerie, and not even silicone breast enhancers cheered her up. But what a rally she had, becoming the star of the ”ski dancing” show and completely reimagining this made-up art form that involved writhing around in skis and boots. I wondered what this jig had to do with the ”good to be bad” theme; my only theory is that in whatever country the accented party designer (and ski-dance innovator) John hails from, children are taught that devils and angels do battle over your soul while riding up the T-bar at Steamboat Springs.

Trishelle bailed out of the troupe early, embarrassed at how she could not master the routine. (Perhaps her shame really stemmed from participating in something called ”ski dancing.”) But Brynn not only didn’t give up, she improved the number by suggesting a girl/girl gyration with Irulan. According to Brynn, no art form can’t be improved by adding sluttiness. If Brynn had been in last season’s Chicago cast, she would have suggested that the kids’ Halloween plays show full penetration.

Brynn is also a multitasker: While toiling over the party, she also found time to trash Trishelle, calling her an airhead. All that hard work paid off post-bash, when she was able to lie back, confident in a job well done, and unite all the other women in the house against Trishelle. The boys may talk to her, but Brynn’ll make sure the girls don’t! The three of them gathered in the Confessional to tear the outcast apart for flirting with the bartender while they all ”worked their asses off” (a superlative I didn’t think someone whose job was handing out flyers and getting drunk could ever use), while Trishelle stood outside hearing the whole thing. I like to curl up into a cringing fetal position at least once an episode, and this was my moment.

Eventually — and predictably — they all hugged and Trishelle learned an important lesson. No, not that you should never slack off on your job; the lesson was that just because Brynn, to the naked eye, has the respectability of Anna Nicole Smith doesn’t mean she can’t rally your friends against you and make your life hell. And it’s that kind of leadership-by-bad-example that makes Brynn Employee of the Episode.

Alton also learned a life lesson. He showed his homophobic side when he had to dress for the party in a style he decreed ”gay,” and then had to ski dance with Steven. (I suspect that even gay people aren’t sure whether ski dancing is gay; something that bizarre must completely jam gaydar.) But when show time arrived, Alton dropped all his reticence and was swept up in the excitement, especially when a woman (or a drag queen, I honestly couldn’t tell which it was) stuffed a dollar in his drawers. Later, in a car with a go-go dancer (and isn’t that where all the best epiphanies occur?), he said he should not have been so concerned about the homosexual overtones of the night: ”I’m growing up,” he said. So he learned that it’s okay to be gay…if people stuff money in your shorts?

So they think they’re ”working their asses off”? I’d like to see them do what we viewers do: Watch these seven boundary-free twits and try to figure out how their brains work. Now THAT’S working your ass off.