5 Most Entertaining DVD Commentaries

01 THIS IS SPINAL TAP

(1984, MGM) The World’s Loudest Band recalls its experiences making the rock doc. (Nigel on publicist Bobbi Flekman: ”If she hadn’t been a cheat, a liar, and a bitch, she would’ve been a rather nice woman.”)

02 BOOGIE NIGHTS

(1997, New Line) A kind of raunchy Inside the Actors Studio, which includes an amusing tale of Mark Wahlberg’s ”broken penis” and director Paul Thomas Anderson’s oft-repeated query, ”Do you think Luis Guzman was stoned?”

03 DUDE, WHERE’S MY CAR?

(2000, Fox) Ashton Kutcher relates the thrill of feeling up costar Kristy Swanson. Dude! Seann William Scott weighs in on the ethics of sleeping with extras. Sweeeeet!

04 THE LIMEY

(1999, Artisan) Veering from amiable to snappish (sometimes within minutes), director Steven Soderbergh and screenwriter Lem Dobbs let presumably lingering creative tensions rise to the surface.

05 THE EVIL DEAD

(1982, Anchor Bay) Star Bruce Campbell’s sly and self-effacing reminiscences are as hilarious as they are understated.

…AND THE MOST ENTERTAINING ONE YOU WON’T GET TO HEAR (SORT OF)

SOUTH PARK: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON

(1997-98, Warner) After five years of deconstructing society, celebrity, and sewage on South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone have only one complaint. ”We can’t piss people off anymore,” Parker says. ”Now people know if you get mad at something in South Park, then you’re an idiot.”

Well, at least the controversy surrounding this recent release proves they haven’t lost their touch. Turning in their first uninebriated commentary (sorry, Cannibal! The Musical fans), the guys experienced what Warner Home Video calls ”creative differences” — and what they call ”censorship.” Semantics aside, the decision to let the three-disc set hit shelves without the cocreators’ 13-episode commentary was mutual.

According to Stone, problems arose when Warner asked them to remove comments that ripped on Warner titles, among them a rant on Contact, which includes Parker’s account of waiting through ”all the suckiness and badness” for an alien-less ending.

Stone says they spent weeks trying to save the commentary because it was their first attempt on anything South Park-related. (After battling with Paramount while making the 1999 feature, they didn’t record one for its DVD out of spite.)

The duo threw in the towel after hearing that a Warner lawyer had allegedly tried to get Jodie Foster’s permission to leave in the lengthy Contact dis. ”I just could not swallow the fact that I’m gonna take out something because it might offend Jodie Foster,” Stone says. (Both Foster and Warner declined to comment.)

In the end, Comedy Central may emerge as the winner. The network is releasing the 273-minute commentary as a five-CD set, sending it automatically to fans who order the DVD through ComedyCentral.com, and for the price of shipping and handling to those who mail in a proof of purchase.