'Brothers & Sisters' recap: A Liver Runs Through It

Sorry the post is late, Siblings fans, but your beloved Slezak abandoned you. That’s right — with one episode left in the year, he up and went on vacation, leaving me to pick up his laundry (and I’m on West Coast time, y’all). But enough about that guy who’s just not that into us. On to the recap!

We knew from the last preview that this was going to be Weepy Walker (as opposed to Wacky Walker) week. First came the red-herring emergency: No one was going to Nora’s Thanksgiving feast! No one, that is, except Sarah, because her evil ex-husband conspired to spirit away her children for quality time with their non-Walker parent.

But, of course, Nora would end up having all her kids with her for Thanksgiving — which was predestined. How do we know? 1) Because the preview prepped us for a Very Special Episode. 2) Because there’s always a dinner (note: duh). And 3) Because there is a Walker Vortex in the universe from which no one is ever allowed to escape. You can decide to move to D.C. with your distinguished politico boyfriend, but the Walker Vortex will suck you back in. You can plan a quiet weekend for two in your boss’ beach house, but the Walkers will descend. And you can whine all you want about how you’ve never been at your parents house for Thanksgiving, but that very fact should be a clue that you never will. The WV does not allow dissent. It will jack up a child’s liver if it has to, but your butt will be parked at Nora’s table, even if said table is in the friggin’ ER.

addCredit(“Scott Garfield/ABC”)

Ooh, which reminds me to get to the real emergency: Baby Elizabethis ill! She needs a tiny piece of someone’s liver! Oh noes! Here is theproblem with this storyline: It leads to Hell. No one is surprised bythe fact that Kevin’s little swimmers out-distanced Justin’s to touchthe wall and begat the baby. That was obvious from jump. What’sshocking is that based on the previews of the January episodes, Brothers & Sistersis poised to exploit Scotty’s-Lesser-Half’s technical daddyhood andstart some drama over the Kid Kevin’s Never Paid Any Attention to UntilNow.

Ugh. Don’t. Please, B&S, just…don’t. While it’s doubtfulthis will metastasize into a full-blown custody-battle arc, the veryidea that they’d indulge such silliness is stomach-churning. We justdon’t need a string of Weepy Walker episodes staring us down in the newyear when we’re already fretting about Ryan, the Walker Landing coup(a.k.a. Holly, Holly oxen free!), and whether Kitty will finally getthe adorable black kid she desperately wants. We need at least a coupleof Wacky Walkers before we dig into all that.

I’m glad it’ll be Slezak wading through that maudlin madness. I just like barking at the tee vee machine.

What do you think, PopWatchers? Is B&S headed in the right direction? Is Scotty the best husband, like, ever? Is Tommy ever not an aggressive jerk? And should we warn this Ryan kid about the Walker Vortex? Talk to me.