'Melrose Place' recap: Mommie Dearest?

It’s week two and the mystery is gone…maybe. It seems Melrose 2.0 has rushed to a few reveals in the second episode without letting characters, and their seedy pasts, reveal themselves more slowly. Oh well, Melrose Place was never about subtlety.

In addition to seeing more of Auggie’s abs (thank you, opening shower scene!), we also learned more about his post-AA bedroom romps with Sydney and about a pre-sobriety bar fight in which his then-girlfriend died and Auggie killed a guy in self defense.

The other big Sydney revelation in this flashback-rific episode was that Violet had told Sydney she was her mother. If it’s true, that’s not exactly a shocker (they’re both redheads, and Violet had stolen that photo of Sydney in the first episode). But I’m hoping that the theory is just a little too neat – maybe Sydney’s denials will turn out to be true (Kimberly was also a redhead on Melrose 1.0!). At least we got to see Violet go a little cray-cray and drop the innocent act. Likewise, Ella got Violet out of those horrible jean shorts (no, not in that way) and into a hot dress to land a hostess gig at Coal (the new Shooters), where she can more easily make googly eyes at Auggie.

Thank god Violet is starting to show her true colors, because Riley and Jonah’s colors seem to be beige and ecru. They may provide the show’s sense of normalcy but they’re also way too boring right now. The newly engaged pair had a pivotal talk about their jealousy stemming from opposite-sex friendships, but made up too quickly and were all smiles. And don’t get me started on how she sorted through his Lucky Charms – that is NOT the stuff of a nighttime soap, we need rat poison in the Cheerios!

Lauren thankfully showed a little more moxie this week – taking on another client, and putting him in his place when he thought their romance was getting real. But, Lauren, we thought he looked a tiny bit like Gerard Butler – don’t hotties get some kind of discount on services?

The fabulous Ella still stole the show — promising the PR firm’s new boss she’d land a new client “bigger than Zach Quinto’s eyebrows” — and using her camera phone to cleverly expose a certain English actor. Although a dozen pear martinis couldn’t explain her hideous toga-meets-superhero white dress and half-boots ensemble.

Best line of the night? Surprisingly not something from Ella but from the Coal manager who dissed Violet’s frumpy wardrobe by saying, “Honey, you’re not catering a wedding at a Holiday Inn.”

What did you think of episode 2? Think Violet really IS Sydney’s daughter or is that too easy? How long can you wait before Sydney’s murderer is revealed? And who else wants to see more of David next week?

Photo Credit: Michael Desmond/The CW

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