'Réalité' series premiere: Your guide to the week in 'DWTS,' 'Top Model,' 'Idol,' 'Runway,' and Kris Allen!

Because Kathy Ireland and Macy Gray aren’t afraid to respectively liken Dancing With the Stars to a religious experience and virginity loss. Because the girls of the latest cycle of America’s Next Top Model are so tragique that they’re inspiring the disturbingly silent disdain of a nine-year-old girl named Diva Davanna. Because Project Runway truly, badly, deeply needs the return of Nina “Why do I have to see ugly?” Garcia and her patented brand of bitchery. Because Ellen DeGeneres’ addition to the American Idol judges’ panel is making us look to Kara “the Terrible” DioGuardi for hope and inspiration. (Okay, not really.) And especially because Kris Allen remains adorably, harmoniously, subversively awesome — and because he granted us an early-morning interview after premiering his new single, “Live Like We’re Dying,” at New York’s Z100 radio station earlier this week…we now present to you what critics are calling the most important series in the Internet right this very second our new video series Réalité. Press play below, and enjoy! (Bear in mind that we’ve interspersed Idol‘s season 8 champ throughout the duration of our video, because we’re sneaky benches.) And if you’ve got a favorite reality show (or two) that aren’t on our pre-selected roster (So You Think You Can Dance and The Amazing Race will also wind up on Réalité‘s radar in the coming weeks) do share ’em in the comments section below, or make your demands via Twitter. You can follow me @EWMichaelSlezak. Holla! Hey-ayy! (And if you get that heinous “video unavailable” message, you can also watch our premiere here.)