Armchair Casting Director: 'True Blood' welcomes a Debbie Downer

You’re gonna have a field day with this one, people — I know I did. True Blood is looking for a twenty- to thirtysomething knockout to play season 3 werewolf Alcide‘s psycho ex-girlfriend, Debbie Pelt. So who comes to mind when you hear that she’s described as sporty and spiteful, with black hair that wouldn’t be out of place on an Afghan at a dog show? Who comes to my mind is…

Milla Jovovich: Though she’s the heroine in the Resident Evil flicks, haven’t her angular features and kickass bod always made you think “bitch on wheels”? Just me? Really? Well, she’s still been known to try out the odd shag from time to time.

Katharine Isabelle: How perfect an option is this Supernatural alum? She’s gorgeous, snarky, and in the first of the Ginger Snaps movies, she didn’t just play a werewolf’s honey, she played the werewolf herself. Top that, Shakira!

Shakira: Come to think of it, the hip-swiveling “She-Wolf” might not be a bad choice for the role. Certainly, her animal instincts are the stuff of legend. Then again, how would Alan Ball feel about a Debbie who talks like Charo?

Sarah Brown: Though the Daytime Emmy winner just signed on to join The Bold and the Beautiful when her run on General Hospital is over, the CBS sudser is known to be cool about loaning out its cast — last season, they freed up Ashley Jones to play Daphne.

Krysten Ritter: Once Veronica Mars‘ classmate, this romcom perennial (27 Dresses, Confessions of a Shopaholic) often wears an expression that makes me think she’s one broken nail away from a meltdown. Please, please, please, can’t we break that nail and see what happens?

Katie Holmes: Okay, she finally got us to stop thinking of her as Joey Potter. Now she needs to get us to stop thinking of her as Mrs. Tom Cruise. Baring her metaphorical claws opposite a leading man with literal fangs might just do the trick.

Your turn. Who do you imagine playing Sookie’s new foil? Sound off below. And remember — you never know who’s reading. (Additional reporting/contributions by Andy Patrick)

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PHOTO CREDIT: Holmes: Camera Press/Retna Ltd; Shakira: Dpa/Landov; Ritter: Albert L. Ortega/PR Photos; Jovovich: Solarpix/PR Photos