'Big Bang Theory': WHEEEAATONNNN! (Also, Wolowitz kinda gets a girlfriend)

It would appear, Big Bang theorists, that Sheldon has finally found his Khan — or, maybe, his Kirk. See, if, like me, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan is one of your favorite sci-fi flicks of all time, you probably noticed that the normally exacting Shedon became hilariously unmoored in his white hot rage for Star Trek: The Next Generation wunderkind Wil Wheaton. Quoting both Khan Noonien Singh (“From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee!”), and, in a fashion, Capt. James T. Kirk (“WHEEEAATONNNN!“), it was unclear whether Sheldon saw himself as a wronged, genetically superior supervillian battling to destroy Wheaton’s impetuous Kirk, or a dashing starship captain striving to defeat Wheaton’s nefarious Khan. Then again, like most Wrath of Khan geeks, Sheldon probably just wanted to be both men at once, and I’ve almost certainly spent far too much Sheldon-esque time exploring this topic as it is. Suffice it to say, in the grand tradition of Newman vs. Seinfeld, Sideshow Bob vs. Bart Simpson, and Mr. Wilson vs. Dennis the Menace, I cannot think of a better bête noir for Sheldon Cooper than (an evil, underhanded version of) Wil Wheaton, since Wheaton’s Wesley Crusher on ST:TNG was essentially an earnest, 24th century version of Sheldon Cooper, replete with a comically unfortunate wardrobe. (For one thing, Wheaton is light years better as an adversary than the odious Barry Kripke.)

Big Bang universe: Wolowitz (kinda) got a girlfriend! At the 2004 opening night of Spider-Man 2, Leonard and Wolowitz entered into a pact that should either land a hot girlfriend, the other was obligated to hook up his buddy with one of said girlfriend’s girl friends. In other words, it was the second consecutive week the writers used Penny and Leonard’s relationship as a plot device for some Wolowitz-y comic shenanigans. But I’ll tolerate two more of them if it gets us lines like this one, uttered after Wolowitz and his heretofore utterly incompatible blind date discovered they both endured overbearing mothers: “My mother calls me at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.” Or this line, after Wolowitz invited his date over for Shabbat dinner: “A Catholic girl like you wearing a big cross like that might just give my mother the big brain aneurism I’ve been hoping for.” I’m just hoping this relationship sticks around for more than a single episode, if only because it brought out a surprisingly un-skeezy, unnervingly pleasant quality in the bowl-cut-sporting, dayglo-scoop-neck-shirt-wearing horndog, and lawd help me, I really like it.

Best Pennard post-coital interaction yet:

Penny: “Wow, you really are a genius.”

Leonard: “Not really — I Googled how to do that.”

Most unwelcome image of the night: Wolowitz, with three percent body fat, looking “like a human chicken wing.”

New Sheldon-ism that sounds almost sensible: The four napkin system: Lap, hands, face, personal emergency.

So were you digging Wil Wheaton as Sheldon’s arch-enemy? Are you pulling for Wolowitz’s new ladyfriend to hang around for at least a bit longer? Were you as happy as I was to see the return of deadpan comic-book store employee Stuart (Kevin Sussman)? And did you have a crush on Ernie like Penny, or were you more keen on nuzzling Bert’s unibrow?