Someday Adam Lambert will be on ALL the channels

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Updated on July 29, 2020 05:52PM EDT

Wednesday night, Adam Lambert chatted about acid-tripping on Chelsea Lately, participated in a random mistletoe fail cameo on The Jay Leno Show, and sang “Whataya Want From Me” on his home planet/channel, Fox! Sadly, EW.com’s Idoloonie-in-chief Michael Slezak spent Adam’s banner night in some other country, likely hoping his iPod battery doesn’t run out so he can finish out his “Sweatin’ to the Idols Vol. 29” playlist while floating around on a lily pad. So I feel it’s my duty to make this announcement: Adam Lambert’s performance on the season 6 finale of So You Think You Can Dance was geeeeeeenius.

Back to basics, you know? I lost some love for Adam after his fun, sexy time at the AMAs not because of the sexual stuff (hi, I just made my porn debut with Ausiello) but because he was acting like a hyperactive Super Mario in one of the underground brick worlds when all he really needed to do was sing well. The SYTYCD stage was just right for baby bear, setting-wise. In smaller TV studios, it’s probably more difficult to truly belt it out without looking like a total loon; plus, I always get paranoid that particularly high-energy humans are constantly about to crash into the machines. Give the man with the burnt toilet paper shoulder pad his space!

I’m not a Lambert expert: Are his heels usually this intense, or does the spats motif make them seem higher? Maybe Adam thought he needed an extra boost because he was up against J.Lo and her ridiculous song title. Speaking of which, honey, no one believes you’re about to throw on your Louboutins when you’re already wearing them.

Do you support Adam Lambert’s total domination of TV?

Follow Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

‘Realite’: Adam Lambert takes Michael Slezak on a deep-dive into the making of his debut album: Wine, neuroses, Kara DioGuardi, and ‘The View’ included!