'Project Runway': Sandro update, plus Ken vs. Sue vs. sewing

Sandro Masmanidi returned only for a brief apology for last week’s volatile getaway scene (does “Please forgive me?” count as an apology?) on tonight’s Project Runway, but did that mean the 90 minutes were relatively drama-free? Hell no! Designer Ken Laurence fiercely stepped up as H.B.I.C. with not only a complete unwillingness to collaborate on yet another “unconventional materials” challenge with members of his own team, but a request for no other designers to look at him, outrageous ageism, and enough passive-aggressive facial expressions (pictured) to bring an all-new 2014 Lexus IS Sedan to a screeching halt.

“I don’t design clothing for 40-year-old women,” said Ken. Does he have any idea who hosts this show??? Or as Tim Gunn wondered, aghast: “Have you SEEN Project Runway?”

To be fair… (and this is a stretch, because Ken was such a brat tonight, and the only people who can get away with “I’m speaking. I need you to be quiet.” are bossy parents and maybe Oprah.) …this week’s eliminated designer, Can’t Sew Sue, did make a catty remark suggesting Ken would be the trio’s “chauffeur” as soon as the teams were announced. That was pretty rude. And even Ken’s other teammate, the witchy yet more diplomatic Alexandria Von Bromssen, was extremely frustrated with Sue Waller’s inability to function. The editing would have us believe that Ken was the sole corruption to the team, but I’m now genuinely interested in what Sue had been doing in the workroom that whole time.

“I hate to say this — I’m so sorry — but one out of three members didn’t know how to sew,” said Alexandria.

On a fashion design show!!! I was dying.

“WHO DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO SEW ON YOUR TEAM?” demanded Heidi.

“Well, I know how to sew differently,” Sue explained, before admitting, “I don’t know how I even sold a single piece in my life.”

It was at this point that my head exploded even harder than it had when guest judge a cat June Ambrose said “Clavicles are the new cleavage.”

Is she right??? Do I finally have a chance at cleavage if I’m having a preternatural “skinny day”? The answer is no. And speaking of cleavage…

Who was Heidi REALLY talking about when she claimed a model’s cleavage looked incredible?

I have no idea.

Anyway, you can read more about tonight’s show in EW’s recap — up now.

And here’s Sandro’s second, more subdued exit speech, transcribed with staggering precision by tonight’s recapper Jacqueline Andriakos:

“So I want to say, if I been difficult for somebody here, or make feel very uncomfortable around me, please forgive me. And Helen, what happened yesterday, that happens for some reason because you’ve been very, very close to me, and I felt I don’t deserve that kind of attention from you. And I was also too crazy. You see, I’m emotional, crazy Russian. I’m sorry. Also to you [Ken], we have to feel very kind to each other, and this is something I can’t relay. I wish I can.”

AND I WAS ALSO TOO CRAZY.

Delicious.

(This was Alexander, Justin, and Bradon’s hilarious reaction after Sue suggested she and challenge winner Jeremy should work together on something in the future — they really did all think she was a joke, huh? But it’s a screengrab that can and should be applied to anything — especially the spectacle of Sandro.)

Do you think Ken can dig himself out of this personality danger zone with the quality of work, or is he dead to you? Discuss!

And for the love of Gunn, can we PLEASE just have a plain ol’ ultra-glamorous “Create an evening gown…in TWO days” challenge? The sooner the better.