'MasterChef' season 4 winner: Natasha or Luca?

“I’m gonna get into the kitchen and kick his ass,” said blue-haired Natasha Crnjac of her MasterChef season 4 finale rival Luca Manfe, a blue-eyed prince from Queens. “I wuhhhhhk. So hahhhd!” yelled Luca re: his journey from the rugged fields of his native Italy to the sparkling counters of the STUNNING! MasterChef kitchen. The two sweated out their final three-course meals for the salivating judges. And the season 4 winner…. is…. coming up! After the break.

It’s Luca! A man has won MasterChef!

“Boom! On da mahhh-hnee!” the restaurant manager, 31, had boldly predicted in a preview of the stunning! beef short ribs on which he’d gambled during the entree round.

CUE CONFETTI!!!!

I’d predicted Natasha as the winner early in the season, but in the last few weeks Luca did indeed emerge as the bolder risk-taker who basically wants to give everyone a heart attack moments after they’ve completed the richest meal of their lives. What a way to go, though, right?

Luca — whose teary-eyed father and sister had flown in from Italy for the occasion — was really a dream winner for MasterChef, gleefully splayed on his knees beggin’ for more as Gordon Ramsay showered everyone with champagne he’d positioned at his crotch. (And this after Gordon had complained he wouldn’t want to have sex with his wife after digesting one of Luca’s rich meals.) I don’t’ mean to be gross! I am just saying what happened.

I loved the raucous cheers from the families, friends, and peppily bitter MasterChef rivals as Natasha and Luca battled it out in the circular “Thunderdome.” The risks both chefs took made it a great finale — Natasha’s cauliflower/seaweed combo (“I think she’s out of her mind,” said Joe) and decision to cook “the poor man’s lobster,” monkfish, wrapped in a cow’s stomach lining (?!?!?!?) did seem nasty, but apparently paid off — the judges loved all six plates they sampled in the fin-ah-lee.

But seriously? The monkfish was “Arguably the prettiest dish I’ve seen on MasterChef“? Is Graham Elliot nuts?

(I mean granted, that’s just a gross photo I took of my TV with my phone, but come on. Not so hot.)

Meanwhile, Luca’s dessert looked like something out of a dystopian old-school Nintendo game. A basil panna cotta with tomato jam? What?

DID NOT CARE. I WAS DYING TO EAT IT.

Gordon: “Theoretically. It shouldn’t work and YET! It does. It’s. Wacky!”

Honestly, that’s the best summation of MasterChef I’ve ever read. Gordon Ramsay has done it again!

Your thoughts on the finale? Are you desperate for some green dessert soup now?

And is anyone planning on watching MasterChef Juniors? I want to, but suspect I won’t get to it until Sunday afternoons. Why does it have to be on Fridays?!

Have a stunning! rest of your night, everyone! Discuss!