Recapping 14 episodes of 'Firefly' -- on napkins

You didn’t think that we were going to start writing napkin recaps of Joss Whedon shows and leave out Firefly, did you?

Well, weren’t. So in the continuing spirit of reducing complex mythologies and funny jokes to poorly scrawled napkin descriptions, we threw together these napkin recaps of the famed (and sadly cut short) first season of the cult-classic space western.

Before we start, here’s a drawing Joss Whedon did of the future of the Serenity crew post-Serenity. We’re not napkin recapping the film, mostly because it took place on a whole different medium.

Note: previous napkin recaps were by the season, but since Firefly only lasted for one season, we’ve gone down to the episode level.

Burn the land and boil the sea…

I actually looked up the Chinese characters on the napkins so they’d be accurate, but just imagine that they’re being poorly pronounced.

The drawings of Serenity get worse as this goes on, so just brace yourselves.

Ugh, Atherton.

Remember how Kaylee said that the duck/swan thing was “made with longing”? Same with these napkin drawings.

That time that biblical stories were made to seem sexy.

Listen to this again.

Other members of the crew are gasping for air elsewhere.

In a dramatic twist, they all have hands of blue.

Zoe was not drawn in nearly enough on these. Apologies to her. She deserved more.

Plot plot plot plot plot plot… naked Nathan Fillion.

This is the episode where we learn that there are no aliens in the Firefly napkinverse.

There was also a firefight, but guns are hard to draw.

Is it still a napkin when it’s empty?