Armie Hammer is morphing into Joe Exotic during quarantine and we're not okay

Look, getting a great haircut during the coronavirus pandemic seems bleak. Celebrities like Blake Shelton and Pink have taken extreme measures to try and spice up their unkempt manes. But now it's getting out of hand. On Wednesday, Call Me By Your Name's Armie Hammer posted an Instagram photo along with a video showing his brand new look: a head of hair almost fullly shaved except for a thick mohawk-adjacent bush down the middle of his scalp. There's also a fu-manchu mustache. Call it Tiger King chique, or the most worried we've been for the future of our civilization.

"Oh wow!! Strong Armie!! 😂💪👍" Man vs Wild host Bear Grylls commented on the photo. CMYBYN co-star Timothee Chalamet chimed in with with two of the hot and sweaty emojis: "🥵🥵"

Unfortunately, we should have seen this coming. Hammer has been live-tweeting his quarantine experience and leaving bread crumbs about his eventual transformation. At one point on March 22, Hammer market tested an idea for his facial hair, wondering if he should call a goatee a "Quarantee or Goatine?"

It was very much downhill from there. On March 30, he mused to his followers, "Today is already hard. I can’t decide if I should wear floor t-shirt number one or floor t-shirt number two....." It should be no surprise then that the outfit he decides to wear in exhibit-A above has not only a V-neck but fringes at the bottom like he's in a high-school pep rally. That was clearly floor shirt number too many, or floor shirt no. my-daughter-wanted-to-play-arts-and-crafts-with-my-floor-shirt.

Hammer is quarantined with his kids and wife Elizabeth Chambers, likely in the Cayman Islands. Before the news of the pandemic, Hammer was scheduled to appear in October's Agatha Christie adaptation Death on the Nile alongside Gal Gadot and Letitia Wright. It was also announced that Hammer would return as Oliver in the Call Me By Your Name sequel, Find Me, although at this point we wouldn't be surprised if Hammer made a home video called Call Me Back Carole Baskin.

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