Oscars: 2014 Nominees' Worst Movies

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Christian Bale: Equilibrium (2002)

There's nothing to savor in this shameless Matrix clone with a pasty-faced Bale standing in for Neo. If this is the future, then the future needs a better director, or at least a tanning booth. The highlight is the film's ''Gun Kata'' sequences, where dudes do ninjalike battle with machine guns — not by firing them, mind you, but by hitting each other with them (which kind of defeats the whole point of having a gun in the first place). Explaining his choice to star in both the postapocalyptic dragon-slaying epic Reign of Fire (2002) and this flop, the soon-to-be Oscar winner told EW in 2007, ''Um, they were experiments for me. And I hope I make more experiments in the future, but more successful experiments.'' —Chris Nashawaty

02 of 33

Bruce Dern: Down Periscope (1996)

This nominally wacky submarine comedy marked the beginning and ending of Kelsey Grammer's movie career. Dern, playing Grammer's crusty nemesis, looks variously angry and annoyed. Understandable. —Darren Franich

03 of 33

Leonardo DiCaprio: Don's Plum (2001)

After Titanic turned DiCaprio into the King of the World, an ex-pal, director R.D. Robb, surfaced with this grainy black-and-white slice of lost-generation misogyny, in which the baby-faced actor (it was shot pre-Titanic, in 1995) and his posse of twentysomething L.A. pals bully the female characters, calling them ''bitches'' and worse. Not surprisingly, this was a movie DiCaprio didn't want his fans to see, claiming he made it as a favor for his friend and never expected it to play theatrically. After some legal wrangling, a $10M settlement ensured that the film would never come to a theater (or DVD store or streaming service) near you. In fact, as part of the agreement it can be shown only outside of the U.S. and Canada. —Chris Nashawaty

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Chiwetel Ejiofor: She Hate Me (2004)

The only blessing Ejiofor can count about his participation in this much-maligned Spike Lee Joint is that his fantasy-sequence portrayal of Watergate whistleblower Frank Wills fundamentally had nothing to do with the film's ''racist, homophobic, utterly fake, and unbearably tedious'' A-plot. —Lanford Beard

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Matthew McConaughey: Surfer, Dude (2008)

The title's curious punctuation aside, this stoner comedy features a so-mellow-he's-comatose McConaughey as a shirtless, weed-smoking surfer (natch!). The actor's $6 million passion project was a gnarly wipeout. Dude earned a 0 percent on Rotten Tomatoes (yes, that's out of a possible 100) and grossed $52,132 in theaters. Talk about a bad hit of weed comma dude. —Chris Nashawaty

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Amy Adams: Leap Year (2010)

This is one romantic comedy that's lacking in, well, comedy. Adams plays an overly clumsy American who travels to Dublin to propose to her boyfriend. But along the way, she meets a stranger with an accent and falls in love. She also (literally) falls about 100 times. Did I mention there's a line about how she speaks ''fluent cow''? —Samantha Highfill

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Cate Blanchett: Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull (2008)

Of all the fine actors wasted on this incoherent reunion-tour sequel — including Ray Winstone, Jim Broadbent, and John Hurt — none had their talents more squandered than Blanchett. As Soviet baddie Irina Spalko, the actress ably mocks up a Boris-and-Natasha accent, but she's stranded without a plot and drowning in a ridiculous wig. —Darren Franich

08 of 33

Sandra Bullock: Fire on the Amazon (1993)

A year before Speed turned her into America's Sweetheart, Bullock starred in this jungle adventure she'd no doubt rather forget. Set in Bolivia's Amazon basin, the cheapie is full of clichéd dialogue like ''The rain forest is no place for a gringo,'' said with straight faces. Bullock plays a fiery fanny-pack-wearing crusader helping the locals battle greedy land developers. But the real reason to check it out is the scene in which Bullock and Sheffer, with tribal stripes painted on their faces, drink a vision-quest potion given to them by the natives and make hungry, groping, raw slo-mo love in a bamboo hut to the strains of exotic pan-flute music. ¡Dios mio! —Chris Nashawaty

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Judi Dench: The Chronicles of Riddick (2004)

When we think of Dame Judi, we don't generally think of brainless, explosion orgies, or Vin Diesel. And yet the Oscar winner was part of an undeniably strong cast that just couldn't make the Pitch Black sequel work the way its predecessor did. Chock it up to a sequel that tried a little too hard and what feels like a paycheck role for Dench. —Lanford Beard

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Meryl Streep: Dark Matter (2008)

Inspired by a New Yorker essay that was based on a chilling tragedy, Dark Matter had strong foundations. Despite its real-life roots, the film's general blandness and, some claimed, mild cultural insensitivity led to a head-scratcher of an ending. —Lanford Beard

11 of 33

Bradley Cooper: All About Steve (2009)

This movie took down two Oscar-caliber actors, Bradley Cooper and Sandra Bullock. All you really need to know is that the story follows a crossword-puzzle designer who is embarrassingly desperate. Needless to say, it scored a 7 percent ''Fresh'' rating on Rotten Tomatoes. —Samantha Highfill

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Michael Fassbender: The Counselor (2013)

Maybe Fassbender didn't have a chance given The Counselor's poorly written script, but the actor's performance is embarrassingly shallow as he recites longwinded lines that fail to do anything but add significantly to the film's convoluted plot. Even so, he looks hot in a suit and appears to deliver in bed where it counts — so we'll give him that, although sadly, there's little indication of his capacity to deliver as he did in 12 Years a Slave. —Nina Terrero

13 of 33

Jonah Hill: The Watch (2013)

Hill can't hold all the blame for the failure of this comedy that also starred Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller as a self-appointed neighborhood watch group. The ridiculous alien subplot, the unnecessary gore, and abysmally bad release timing (in the wake of Trayvon Martin's death) made The Watch pretty unwatchable. —Jake Perlman

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Jared Leto: Basil (1998)

Between Jordan Catalano and Rayon, Leto starred as an aristocrat in the 1998 drama Basil. It was based on an 1892 novel and also starred two-time MTV Movie Award winner Christian Slater, so you know it must have been great. And by great, I mean Leto has made a good career move shying away from pretty-boy roles. —Ariana Bacle

15 of 33

Sally Hawkins: All Is Bright (2013)

Even with the same charm as her breakout role in Happy Go Lucky, Hawkins was but a critical charming footnote in the tale of Québécois con-men (Paul Rudd and Paul Giamatti). Like its protagonists, Bright — which was originally titled Almost Christmas — didn't have the substance to back up its flash. —Lanford Beard

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Jennifer Lawrence: House at the End of the Street (2012)

In 2012, Lawrence officially arrived as a blockbuster star (in The Hunger Games) and an awards-baiting critical darling (in Silver Linings Playbook). Naturally, 2012 also saw the dumping-ground release of this forgettable horror flick, filmed before she won the role of Katniss Everdeen. —Darren Franich

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Julia Roberts: I Love Trouble (1994)

Roberts and Nick Nolte were both still viable leading actors, albeit slightly on respective downturns (it'd been three years since The Prince of Tides for him, four years since Pretty Woman for her), when Trouble hit the box...and let's just say it lived up to its name. In hindsight, a comic romance between a bright young thing like Roberts and a crusty old coot like Nolte was just too farfetched to believe. —Lanford Beard

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June Squibb: Atlas Shrugged Part I (2011)

Like any true working actor, Squibb can be excused for her part in this small-potatoes attempt to adapt Ayn Rand's influential final novel. She played industry widow Mrs. Hastings alongside a pre-Orange Is the New Black Taylor Schilling and Grant Bowler, who would soon know cornball infamy for his role as Richard Burton opposite Lindsay Lohan's Elizabeth Taylor in the Lifetime original movie Liz & Dick. —Lanford Beard

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Alfonso Cuarón: Great Expectations (1998)

Gravity is a masterpiece. Great Expectations...not so much. The Mexican film director has since admitted Great Expectations was ''a film [he] should not have done.'' —Ariana Bacle

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Alexander Payne: Gray Matters (2006)

Payne produced this stumbling romp about two 1940s-loving, ballroom-dancing siblings (Tom Cavanagh and Heather Graham) who fall in love with the same woman (Bridget Moynahan). Unfortunately for Payne, first-time scribe Sue Kramer's script spent too much time spinning and not enough with its feet firmly planted on the ground. —Lanford Beard

21 of 33

Martin Scorsese: Boxcar Bertha (1972)

Empire magazine declared this crime odyssey ''for exploitation-enthusiasts and Scorsese completists only.'' Scorsese's talent wasn't completely savaged when his second film was released — but for a man who'd later direct Raging Bull, Goodfellas, The Departed, The Aviator, Hugo, and many more stunningly innovative films, this dutiful take on producer Roger Corman's old standbys of sex and violence falls dead last on his list of career highlights. —Lanford Beard

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Richard Linklater: The Newton Boys (1998)

The Slacker director's attempt to work beyond his wheelhouse felt surprisingly unenergetic, despite generally well-received performances from his four leading men (Matthew McConaughey, Ethan Hawke, Skeet Ulrich, and Vincent D'Onofrio). Linklater's built a consistently strong body of work as both a writer and director, but his foray into the world of big-budget spectacles was a bust. —Lanford Beard

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Julie Delpy: An American Werewolf in Paris (1997)

In 1995, Julie Delpy starred in the hit Before Sunrise. Critics loved it, loved her. And then Delpy starred in An American Werewolf in Paris two years later. Roger Ebert described the comedy/horror film as ''an orgy of special effects and general mayhem'' — and not in a good way. Delpy as a human: Great. Delpy as a werewolf: Pass. —Ariana Bacle

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Ethan Hawke: Getaway (2013)

Getaway is like a bad combination of Phone Booth, Taken, and anything with Selena Gomez. In order to save his kidnapped wife, Hawke's character has to listen to a mysterious voice that tells him how to use his expert driving skills to blah blah blah. This whole thing was doomed from the moment Gomez got in the passenger seat. —Samantha Highfill

25 of 33

Billy Ray: Suspect Zero (2004)

Following up his lauded screenplay for Shattered Glass, Ray teamed with Inspector Gadget writer Zak Penn to draft this serial killer clunker. Overplaying its drama and relishing a little too much in the terror inflicted on its victims, the collaboration turned out to be as grizzled as its demoted investigator Thomas Mackelway (Aaron Eckhart) and his gloom-and-doom partner (Carrie-Anne Moss). —Lanford Beard

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Steve Coogan: Marmaduke (2010)

Coogan was nominated as a writer for Philomena, but provided his vocal chops to play a highly intelligent but decidedly minute Dachshund in the family film based on the comic. Unlike Coogan himself, the film was dull and unoriginal, earning a 9 percent score on Rotten Tomatoes. —Jake Perlman

27 of 33

Jeff Pope: Essex Boys (2000)

Pope served as producer and screenwriter on an inspired-by-true-events story of gangland murder set in England. Lost in a slew of similar films from the time, its sparse dialogue and overly complicated plot garnered it a scant 17 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, though audiences were swayed by Sean Bean's leading performance. —Lanford Beard

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John Ridley: Red Tails (2011)

Despite a real-life story for the books, strong performances, and thrilling flight sequences, the chronicle of Alabama's all-black Tuskegee Airmen in World War II was weighed down by sequences on the ground that EW's Owen Gleiberman deemed ''dutiful and prosaic, with thinly scripted episodes that don't add up to a satisfying story.'' —Lanford Beard

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Terence Winter: Get Rich or Die Tryin' (2005)

''8 Mile worked, right?'' That was the simple pitch behind this 50 Cent auto-hagiography. At the time, Winter was a lead producer on The Sopranos, and he was in good company with Oscar-nominated director Jim Sheridan and a supporting cast of ringers. Unfortunately, this was still a film about 50 Cent — and it arrived at just about the specific moment when he evolved from ''beloved rapper 50 Cent'' to ''bad actor/Vitamin Water pitchman 50 Cent.'' —Darren Franich

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Eric Warren Singer: The International (2009)

American Hustle was only the second feature film that Singer wrote, so you have to cut him a little slack for The International, a dud of a thriller that left most of the audience confused by its overly complicated plot and disappointing ending. —Jake Perlman

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Woody Allen: September (1987)

The perfect storm of unwatchable Woodyisms: It's a fiasco of morose mannerisms made when he was still trying to imitate the moody solemnity of Ingmar Bergman; it's one of his ponderous literary knockoffs (in this case, of Chekhov's Uncle Vanya); it casts Mia Farrow as a suicidal depressive in Coke-bottle glasses and reduces the actress to quivering, disaffected tics; and Allen got into such a control-freak mode when he made it that he actually trashed the first version and shot the entire thing again with a different cast. All the reshoots in the world, however, couldn't imbue September with what it lacks: a shred of life. —Owen Gleiberman

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Melisa Wallack: Mirror Mirror (2012)

Certainly very different from her nominated Dallas Buyers Club script, Wallack provided the screen story to the Snow White revamp with Julia Roberts. The movie had great visuals but the tired old story of a bitter queen and her magic mirror didn't get the modern polish it needed. —Jake Perlman

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Spike Jonze: Human Nature (2001)

Jonze is impeccable as a director. As a producer...well...let's just start with the logline on this Tim Robbins-Patricia Arquette flick: ''A woman is in love with a man in love with another woman, and all three have designs on a young man raised as an ape.'' As a bit of context, let's not forget that Jonze also gets credit for story on the entire Jackass franchise — a strong contender for ''Worst'' status. But when there are designs on an ape-boy, ape-boy will always have out. —Lanford Beard