Brothers and Sisters recap: Mothers Be Good to Your Callers

On last night’s Brothers and Sisters, “Call Mom,” Nora auditioned for a radio show against Dr. Alexandra Kirby (guest star Debra Monk), a formidable book-touring beast who fixed Nora’s hair as if she were a garage-sale doll and warned everyone not to forget those three little letters after her name: P-H-D. (L-A-M-E.) Nora was about to get smacked down, which was extra unfair because she didn’t even have the right shoes! Kevin, who had come along to the studio for support, started off too generically, telling his mom, “If there’s one thing America likes, it’s an underdog.”

He’d have to do better than that. For the next few hours, Dr. Alex fielded sycophantic calls from fans (who seemed to be trapped in the valley circa the mid-’80s) and hogged the airwaves with unrealistic-verging-on-bullying advice. She even got caller Kevin Devon to admit he’d been distant in the bedroom during a routine question about cherry pie! Oh HELL no.

It was time to get serious with a Critical Sally Field Turning Point moment sponsored in part by Boniva. Kevin sat Nora down and reminded her why she was the best person to offer “homespun advice for better living.” “You held a family together despite remarkable odds. You have an amazing gift — maybe the most precious there is.” (Aw, someone wants to be a dad!) It worked — Nora was ready. And on a quick side note, I could not stop thinking about Mrs. Doubtfire during this entire episode. I need to rent Straight Talk again, stat! It’s a much better fit.

Kitty called in and admitted to feeling afraid that she was never going to get out of her post-Robert fog and be with another man. Dr. Alex started caw-cawing about how studies show it can take at least a year for grievers to start dating again, blah blah caw. Then suddenly, Empowered Dr. Nora jumped in to do what she does best: be an overbearing mom who really does know what she’s talking about! “That’s all Jim Dandy peachy-keen, Dr. Alex,” (ooh, name-check!), “but statistics can’t hold your hand at night.” Nora launched into one of her confident yet gentle-voiced grand assessments about life. How we handle losses defines who we really are! What’s important is time, changing your expectations, and most of all having someone like good ol’ mom to listen to you when you need to talk about things. Which you will, begged her eyes. Constantly. Come over. I have soooooo much cake.

Nora’s words hit home for Kitty and Justin. After hearing mom on the radio, the road-warrior peeled his jeep away from a potential hot date. I can’t believe he left — Date Shake girl was offering him free goods and an unobstructed side view of her bra! But anyway, Dr. Nora found a way to tie Kitty and Justin’s problems in to Kevin’s as well. “Womb envy?” she cried, referring to Dr. Alex’s tidy accusation against Kevin from before. “What is that, anyway? You don’t want a womb, you want a child. That grief is just as real as Kitty Katherine’s.” And then just as Nora compared unacknowledged feelings to a drunken cousin at a family reunion and reminded her listeners, “You have to be able to see what’s right there in front of your eyes,” why, who should be at Kitty’s door but……

NEXT: Modeling is hard work! (Especially for spouses who can’t touch freshly spray-tanned torsos!)

PEPPER JACK! And it turned out Kitty didn’t know his whole story, either. Before transforming into a hot slab of carpenter cheese, P.J. used to be an investment banker in L.A., grossing himself out on the reg with bluetooth devices and his Mulholland Drive bachelor’s pad. (You could definitely see an “I want to go back to there” gaze on Kitty — it was far more pronounced than the flicker of recognition she registered when Justin had mentioned Evan, her son, earlier in the episode.) Kitty and Pepper Jack are more alike than she’d thought. Whew! No need to leave Ojai so soon, Kitty. There are plenty of other outdoor exercises left for you to try/hate.

Sarah had to submit to the dreaded “no touching” rule laid down by freshly spray-tanned underwear models across the universe. She rushed over to Scotty at the café, who reassured her that Luc loved her and is probably not getting it somewhere else. (As it turned out, he would know.) “Sometimes a spray tan is just a spray tan,” he offered Sarah. But what if sometimes a spray tan is sex? The pair visited a swanky hotel full of Los Angeles layabouts too beautiful to be working on a Wednesday afternoon. But behind the curtain…the perception was shattered! Luc really was having a business meeting with some stylish Hollywood creatures.

Sarah went home to gulp down a picnic of wine and stare at the unfinished painting Luc had been working on when he received the call that ended up launching him to underwear superstardom. “It feels like you’ve given that [artistic] passion up,” she told him when he arrived home, clearly referring to more than one type of passion. Stop worrying, Sarah! Luc had spent his entire first modeling paycheck on an engagement ring. He’d been putting off the proposal because maybe the man he was becoming (spray-tanned beef slab) wasn’t the man she was supposed to marry (starving artist). “If I can be that man again, could you consider being that man’s wife?” Of course she would! So they’re engaged. It really didn’t feel any more climactic than that.

Meanwhile, the pretty painting of Scotty and Kevin in a magical cafe land of stainless steel and exposed brick and potential baby-making was deteriorating. Just after Kevin finally decided he was ready to be a father and that they should consider fostering or adopting a needy kid, Scotty admitted he had slept with someone else, one time, months ago. “I didn’t want to hurt you, so I didn’t tell you,” Scotty said.

PAGING DR. NORA. PLEASE WEIGH IN.

But the episode was over.

Discuss last night’s Brothers and Sisters below!

Last week’s ‘Brothers and Sisters’ recap: Lips Serviced

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

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