Reign recap: Burn

Delphine’s not the only one who gets burned in this season finale: Catherine is stripped of her title and her dignity by an enraged Francis, and ends up seeking the enemy of her enemy who therefore has to be a (possible) friend, Queen Elizabeth I.

But before we get to that shocker, we’ve got to get through a dozen others. We open the hour at Condé’s camp, where his men have been prematurely celebrating their impending victory against Francis by getting it on with dozens of women they picked up, uh…somewhere…? The details don’t matter anyway, at least not to Condé. Francis’ challenger to the throne is just happy to have Mary by his side—surprise pregnancy included—and isn’t fazed when Mary warns him Francis has cannons. “You’re safe now, Mary, you made the right decision coming to me,” he tells her.

Mary doesn’t look so sure, with good reason. Catherine has broken the news to an incredulous Francis, and she’s out for Mary’s traitorous blood. Of course, Mary’s not a traitor at all; she’s been lying to Condé about practically everything since she showed up unexpectedly in his camp. She’s not with child, she brought the whores from Greer, and the plague that appears to ravage Condé’s men the next morning is a hoax. And with all that scheming, Mary’s able to deliver the final blow: a stab to Condé’s six-pack abs stomach that leaves him bloody and unconscious on the ground—and her in a dramatic pool of tears. Love is patient, love is kind, love is what makes you vulnerable enough to trust the queen of France when you’re in the middle of trying to take her husband’s throne. Sigh. Good try, Condé.

In the castle, the tension’s running just as high. Princess Claude corners Leith to urge him again to believe her about the creature they saw in the passageways, and insists that Delphine is a monster who can shape-shift into other beings. (So Delphine = Mystique?) Bash corners Francis to tell him Mary’s departure may not have been a betrayal after all, because she left a package for him to Greer. Francis is further convinced when the half-brothers find that Condé’s panicked men are scattering all over the place like chickens with their heads cut off (guillotined chickens, perhaps? You know, because France? Never mind), and takes the opportunity to lead his men into Condé’s camp.

There, he finds Mary, still crouched over Condé, unsure of whether he’ll live. Francis is at the same time relieved and suspicious, pointing out that Mary could have had everything she wanted if she ran away with Condé. Mary counters by saying she loves him. “I love you, Francis,” she sobs. “I always have. Always.” Love is patient, love is kind, love is what makes you stab a former lover in the stomach so you can reunite with your dying husband!

Alas, that reunion isn’t happening just yet. The pair must first decide what to do with Condé, who has survived Mary’s stabbing and has been thrown into the castle dungeons. Francis isn’t eager to chop off the usurper’s head, but Catherine, again, wants bloodshed—a decision Narcisse doesn’t appear to approve of as he eavesdrops on their conversation. Then again, just before Mary and Francis returned, Narcisse had spent some time comforting Catherine as she worried about dying in the siege and wished they could be together forever. “I want us to be together,” she had said, “to go forward together.” She may want that, but Narcisse sure doesn’t.

Another couple struggling to stay together forever? Kenna and Renaude. Poor Kenna has to hear Renaude’s final words and watch as he’s hanged. But those final words are useful. Renaude warns Kenna that Elizabeth’s campaign against Mary isn’t just a political one; it’s personal.

Kenna, in an attempt to right her love life, runs back to Bash, saying she ended up in Renaude’s arms because she panicked when she saw him with Delphine and now wants another chance to be his devoted wife. Bash looks skeptical at first, but when she reminds him she called out his name during the siege and saved his life, he falls into her arms. The two reunite a happy couple—at least for now.

NEXT: There’s something about Delphine…

Elsewhere in the castle, word of Delphine’s “binding ritual” during the siege has traveled. “She worked a spell on me,” the servant she lured into bed—or rather, onto Bash’s bloody shirt—tells Bash. “You claim to have carnal relations with Delphine on someone else’s blood,” Bash rewords for him. You could just call it sex, Bash. You know that.

They’re not the only ones in the middle of an uncomfortable conversation, though. Condé, in physical and emotional pain, talks to Mary in the dungeons, promising her all he wanted was her all along, but he got riled up thanks to Elizabeth. But while the two are just starting to move past all that awkward Mary-lied-and-then-stabbed-Condé business, Francis storms in, demanding to know where Condé’s men have taken Lola. See, while Mary and Condé were trying to sort out their feelings, Francis had been delivered baby John’s bloody blanket and told that his child with Lola didn’t survive their escape from the castle. He becomes overwhelmed with both rage—as he nearly decapitates Condé—as well as with survivor’s guilt, when he begins to weep to Mary.

But, Francis, there’s no crying in royalty. Narcisse comes to Francis’ aid, asking to go and search for Lola, as long as Francis and Mary promise to tell no one of his task. They agree, and Narcisse follows Lola’s footsteps until he finds her and a still-alive baby John held by men who clearly don’t belong to Elizabeth.

A man who does belong to her, however, makes it into the castle’s dungeon, fights his way past the guards and the executioner, and helps Condé escape. At the same time, Narcisse returns to report that Catherine was the one who ordered Lola and John’s kidnapping, a revelation that leaves Mary royally pissed off. Catherine had attempted to frame Condé for John’s murder, a plan that almost worked. But, as Narcisse realized, being loved by Catherine de Medici is the “one thing worse than being hated” by her.

I can think of something much, much worse than either of those: Delphine and whatever Delphine does to poor servant boys. Though Delphine had dismissed Bash’s concerns about how people think she’s a monster (and in turn, told Bash about Kenna’s pregnancy, resulting in the just-reunited couple splitting again), she’s found in another “binding ritual” with the servant boy, except this time, he’s covered in blood and, well, dead. And Bash can’t let this one slide. Delphine is taken away to be burned alive at the stake. Just as the flames begin to crawl up her body, she somehow frees herself, growls (?) at her executioners, and runs away into the woods. This all happens after Bash dreams of having, as he would put it, “carnal relations” with her, and wakes up feeling like he’s being burned. Dream Delphine tells Bash they’re now linked in spirit, which means he can feel what she feels. So in other words, Bash has become a human voodoo doll for Delphine. And he doesn’t even get to continue having “carnal relations” with her! Oof.

Mary, thankfully, is kept away from the supernatural side of things. Instead, she confronts Catherine for putting Francis through hell with John’s faked death. But Catherine feels no remorse for pretending to kill an infant; she insists she did it for Francis and her family. “I did it for the good of your realm here and in Scotland,” she says, raising her voice several decibels in the process. “I’ve stood by you, Mary.” When she tries to make Mary keep her involvement a secret, however, Mary draws the line. “More secrets, is that what we really need?” Mary ponders. The answer to that would be “no,” Mary. No more secrets, no more lies.

But this is Reign, and secrets and lies run in its veins. And now that Mary’s sliced open those veins by telling Francis about Catherine’s scheme, Catherine is ruined. “I always thought the one redeeming quality about you was your love for your family,” Francis snarls at his mother. “Family means nothing to you except a means to an end.” And with that, Catherine is finished, stripped of her title and income and home, stripped of her dignity and family, stripped of her hold on the French court.

She’s not, however, stripped of her cunning. The next we see of her, she’s made her way to England to meet a young Queen Elizabeth I, whose got a glint in her eye that makes me deeply worried for Mary. We’ll have to see in season 3 what these two plan to do, but in the meantime, we see one last happy get-together for Mary, Greer, Lola, and Kenna, just before Kenna leaves on a ship—with a possible boy king, it looks like—to give her baby away in Sweden. “I want to remember you all like this,” Kenna says during her goodbyes, “as the girls you once were.” Oh, what’s that? I’m not crying, you’re crying.

Mary and Francis also share a poignant moment. She again begs Francis to put the past behind them and to commit their hearts fully to one another. As they cling to one another, an invisible wind machine picks up, and the two fall into bed, becoming the second reunited couple we’ve seen intimate tonight, though one that’ll hopefully have a happier ending… Please?

Oh, fine. Happy endings aren’t for characters on Reign. Francis meets with Nostradamus (!) afterward and admits he’s still dying. And Nostradamus, in return, agrees. “Yes,” he tells Francis. “You are.” Wow, where are your bedside manners, Nostradamus?!

At least we won’t have to see Nostradamus’ prediction come true just yet, because that’s it for season 2 of Reign. So, what did you all think? Will Mary and Francis ever fully trust each other again? Will Condé make it out of France alive? Will Bash survive his spiritual binding with Delphine? And will someone please get Elizabeth a new hairstylist?