Scorpion recap: Robots

A bright red cartoon crab once sang, “We got no troubles, life is the bubbles under the sea.” I’m here to tell you that he is wrong. There’s a whole list of things that has happened under the sea that is absolutely, undeniably terrifying. And this week, half of #TeamScorpion is caught down there.

When we come back this week, Cabe is still teaching Toby how to throw a punch. Apparently it’s taken him a whole week to start to get it down. It’s also taken a whole week for Happy to get back from her date. It only takes seven hours to extract an international criminal from Cuba, but anything else? Seven days. There’s no time to hop into Happy and Toby’s tangled web or to explore why Ray is sleeping at the team’s warehouse because a more accessible, initially likeable Adriana Molina has arrived.

Katherine Cooper is Adriana Molina’s deputy, which means that she’s very familiar with administrative duties. It doesn’t mean that Adriana Molina is gone — it just means that she doesn’t want to deal with the Scorpion gang. If these guys understood social cues, they would realize this is Adriana Molina’s way of throwing long-distance shade. Katherine has come to take Cabe, Happy, and Walter into a submarine for a black ops mission. She’s equally demanding, but oddly more charming.

In short, Happy, Walter, and Cabe drop into a submarine and suddenly, it gets very NCIS. Walter determines that this isn’t just a regular group of soldiers, and that’s when he finds out that these are super-trained engineer soldiers that seem to be led by Ensign Hall. Meanwhile, on land, Toby almost immediately figures out where the submarine is. Ensign Hall is NOT okay with that and makes the team give up their earpieces, leaving them all alone under the sea.

As Happy connects to the underwater communications panel that will transmit the information that the team has been tasked with accessing, she and Walter realize that it’s a trap. It’s too late, though, because an underwater bomb has exploded, leaving Happy, Walter, Cabe, and Hall in the worst re-creation of the Titanic since its movie sequel. The team only has an hour and ten minutes left to escape. Happy tries to fix the communications panel and releases a live wire that almost kills everyone. Not great, Happy.

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Elsewhere, Paige has been tasked with getting Ray’s car out of the pound — it’s quite a departure from saving Los Angeles from an A-bomb via weather balloon, but she seems pretty chill about it. Love her or hate her (and you better love her because Katharine McPhee’s major in college was Saving Everyone’s Lives), she’s called upon by Toby and Sylvester, who have been using an actual hotdog as a submarine, to go to Katherine Cooper’s office to ask for help.

Elsewhere, along with Leonardo DiCaprio’s frozen body and the Heart of the Ocean, the team decides that their best chance for survival is to send Cabe out in an escape suit. He volunteers because Happy and Walter are too critical to risk. Cabe gives the team his signature Cabe look and disappears out of the submarine and into the light. Not the death light — he went to the actual light. And then he launched a flare and took a well-deserved float while waiting on someone to rescue the submarine.

NEXT: Two working girls, taking care of business

Paige and Katherine work together and get in touch with Toby and Sylvester. Somehow, in that conversation, Toby and Sylvester figure out that the amount of time it took for Sylvester to dance along with a viral video is the amount of time it took for the submarine to travel 15.83 nautical miles. Oh, that doesn’t make sense to you? Probably because you don’t understand science.

That’s the same science that helps the team on the submarine determine that by opening the hatch, flooding the submarine, and closing the hatch again, they can rebalance the submarine and allow it to be rescued. As the plan begins to work, Katherine and Paige dispatch a helicopter to save the team.

Toby and Sylvester go to Happy’s dad’s shop to get everything they need to rescue Happy and Walter from the ship, and that’s when Happy’s dad stops being nice and starts getting real. “You like my daughter, don’t you?” he asks. Toby admits that he’s more than right.

The true love story of this episode, though, is the new friendship that Katherine and Paige have formed. Katherine talks about how she really doesn’t want to fail this mission and have Happy or Walter die because she’s just a working girl with a desk job who wasn’t prepared for this. That’s when Paige tells her that she’s just a working girl with a waiting job who wasn’t prepared for this. That’s an important life lesson: No working girl can ever fully prepared, especially when it involves a submarine rescue.

As the oxygen supply depletes, Happy and Walter have a nice final moment in the submarine. It’s a tender moment when Happy admits that she’s not a robot and that she has feelings. Walter admits the same, and they talk about how they just saved nine men’s lives. Then the shot pulls back and shows that poor Ensign Hall is stuck between these two. #Pray4EnsignHall

Luckily, the rescue team gets to them and they find a possible way to exit, but there’s no sure way to get out. That’s when they discover that the area is full of chloride, which will destroy their lungs if they stay too long. Ensign Hall decides that the best solution is to press the self-destruct button, giving the team 5 minutes to exit and be launched out the trash chute. Ensign Hall offers to stay behind to finish the job, but Walter refuses to let him die. That’s when he literally breaks Hall’s arm to get him into the escape hatch. Elsewhere in the universe, I almost threw up watching that happen.

The submarine explodes and the hatch floats up — Happy pops out and asks for a little help, signifying that no matter how nervous we get, Team Scorpion is practically indestructible

At the weekly follow up, Happy tells Toby that he can’t just be chatting it up with her dad, and then they share awkward romantic tension. Speaking of awkward romantic tension, Walter and Paige talk about how sometimes logic isn’t always the answer, which explains why Paige chose to wear that questionable shawl cardigan.