'Supernatural' recap: Where's your moose? And where's Pestilence?

Image Credit: Michael Courtney/ The CWIt’s that time of year: time to beg for an extension. Once upon a time, I did it for research papers, and now, I’m going to do it for Supernatural. There’s just far too much work for our boys to do in two episodes, and I think it might be a little overwhelming (both for them and us viewers). Admittedly, there have been episodes wasted on filler and funny — and there’s nothing wrong with that. But Sam and Dean now find themselves in a precarious position: They have two episodes to get their calloused man hands on two more of the horsemen’s rings, lure Lucifer back into his cage, and stop those around them from making big mistakes. It’s not enough time! But because 11th-hour additional episode orders don’t happen too often (and by that I mean never), let’s assume we’re stuck with only two episodes to wrap all this up and enjoy the sure-to-be-intense ride ahead.

We picked up with a frustrated Sam and Dean tracking Pestilence, but only able to catch his sickness-ridden dust trail. In popped Crowley, who we last saw handing the Colt over to the brothers to kill Lucifer. (Much good that did. Pfft.) While Sam was left to stew in his anger at the house, Crowley and Dean went off to nab Pestilence’s right-hand man, who knew the location of the elusive horseman. They took the demon (named Brady) back to home base against Crowley’s wishes after Dean found out that it had a history with Sam. Brady was an old friend of Sam’s who was possessed during college and has since lived his life as a demon. After being possessed (unbeknownst to those around him), he introduced Sam to his ill-fated girlfriend Jessica, who was part of the demons’ big plan (circa season 1). Angered and out for revenge, Sam almost killed the demon, but decided against it because he knew they needed Brady to get Pestilence’s location.

They did learn Pestilence’s whereabouts by the end of the episode, but we didn’t see His Snotiness, which was a downer. I was simultaneously disgusted and intrigued by him during the sneak peek at the end of last week’s episode, so I call B.S. We ended on another awesome note this week, with Crowley telling Bobby that he would give him Death’s location if Bobby made a wish (meaning, gave up his soul for the info). Crowley vowed to give it back, but Bobby looked less than convinced — yet tempted.

That’s the instant oatmeal version, let’s talk specifics in the form of noteworthy lines/moments (with commentary!):

Dean: [wearing a surgical mask] Hey, I looked like the King of Pop.

Sam: [Rolls eyes]

Dean: Too soon? Too soon.

HA!

Sam: What if you guys lead the devil to the edge, and I jump in?

Bobby: Sam…

Sam: It’ll be just like when you turned the knife around on yourself. One action, just one leap.

Bobby: Are you idgits trying to kill me? We just got done talking your brother off the ledge, now you’re lining up to say yes…. This isn’t an option, Sam.

This was an angle I never saw them taking, and I have to hand it to Sam because it is a clever plan. But smart as it may be, I’m with Bobby in that he’s definitely not strong enough to take control back as he has proved in the past that control isn’t the youngest Winchester’s strong suit. On that note, I hope they don’t hold that against Sam much longer. A few themes I hope to not revisit next season: Sam’s anger, Dean’s daddy issues, both of their self-worth issues, and Sam��s inability to be trusted. I feel like we’ve settled a lot of that.

Brady: [talking about the two rings Sam and Dean have] Who says I want them?

Dean: What?

Brady: Who. Says. I. Want. Them.

Dean: [Gulp] You know, folks.

I don’t know why I liked this part so much. I think it’s because we’re so used to Dean being the cool man with the plan. It was nice to see him have a human oh, crap moment. He’s had them before, but I give this one extra points because he said “folks.”

“Hey, hot stuff, watch the upholstery.” — Dean to Crowley

Dean, I hate to break it to you, but Sam stabbed it at the beginning of the episode.

“Why? Because Crowley said so? Because we trust him now? Like I trusted Ruby? Or like I trusted Brady back at school?” — Sam to Dean

Kudos to Sir Padalecki for the delivery of the latter part of this line. He just seemed so hurt. Everyone on this show should have some sort of trust issues, but I hadn’t realized how often Sam had put himself on the line to be let down again and again. He needs a hug. There’s no shortage of volunteers, I’m sure.

“Where’s your moose?” — Crowley, asking Dean about Sam’s whereabouts

Even as I sit by myself typing this line, I’m laughing maniacally. For all the jokes that have been made about Sam’s enormous (manly!) stature in past seasons, this one takes the cake. Move over “sasquatch,” there’s a new insult in town. Gigglesnort.

“Remember how much time you spent trying to get me back on the right track? You really were a great friend.” — Brady to Sam

This made me sad more than anything because it reminded me of season 1 Sam, naïve and compassionate. It just seems like such a long time ago. And I also thought it was a nice bit of character color. I appreciate that after five seasons, the show is still revisiting who the characters used to be.

Brady: You’ve screwed me for eternity.

Crowley: No, you won’t last that long. Trust me.

I just realized there are five Crowley-involved lines in this recap. So it’s official: He needs to come back.

“Well then get the hell off my property before I pump you so full of rock salt you crap margaritas.” — Bobby to Crowley

Sounds delicious and disgusting all at the same time.

“Let’s just say when they’re all getting their Grammys, they shouldn’t all be thanking God.” — Crowley

Knew it.

That’s that, PopWatchers. What did you think of the episode? Were you sad about Pestilence being M.I.A., too? Can Supernatural wrap this up in two episodes without cheating the main storyline? And I’m now accepting theories on: What the heck was up with that vaccine at the beginning? And will Bobby say yes to Crowley? Go!

UPDATE: Answer to one of my above questions here (brought to you by Michael Ausiello).