The Amazing Race recap: 'Double U-Turn Ahead'

When we last saw Phil, he was in Norway poking the bear that is Liz and Michael, asking them why they were being short with each other. Liz thinks Mike is a jack wagon. Mike thinks Liz is a know-it-all. I start chanting, “Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!” but Phil’s smooth encouragement whispers in the last-place finishers’ ears. Before I know it, Mike is apologizing, and Liz reintroduces her old nickname of “teddy bear” for the red-bearded food lover.

It’s a good thing they made up, because time is a-wasting. Seven teams remain, and all are scratching their way to be the first to arrive in the Republic of Italy. Thanks to a super cool Travelocity app, teams can book their flights with ease. How do I know? Because CBS spends 10 minutes of show time showcasing this phenomenon. GET TO THE BOOT, ALREADY!

Side note: When did all the teams get official Amazing Race fanny packs? And where can I get one?

Teams convene in dark corners, and it is decided that since there is an upcoming DOUBLE U-TURN, contestants will pile on Vanck and Ashton because they are snobby weirdos. Once the plane lands in Milan, teams scramble outside yelling, “TAXI” at the top of their lungs.

ROAD BLOCK: “Word on the Street”

One teammate must ride in a mobile restaurant and eat tons of delicious Italian food while looking out the window for clues that will get them to the next destination. Warning: You have to find three clues AND eat all of the dishes served. All of the boys call, “MINE!” except Tara, who just so happens to speak Italian. She and Mike make it to the first trolley, leaving everyone else behind.

Vanck, Redmond, Scott, and Floyd board the next trolley. Logan has to wait for the first one to come back around since only four contestants are allowed per trolley. Doh! Vanck settles in for some yummy pasta. Redmond tries to be incognito with the words he discovers. And Scott ribs Floyd for not being old enough to drink when he’s not scamming on the cute guy next to him. Ciao bello!

Because yellow and red are dominant colors in Italy (thank you, Floyd), some contestants find words that others do not. That seems about right. Tara and Mike are the first to conquer the challenge and receive their clue. Mike and Liz aren’t far behind. Next stop? A cruise around Lake Como! Not bad, Amazing Race. Not bad.

Logan boards Tara and Mike’s trolley just as the boys on the second trolley arrive. None of them has the correct answer. They have to go back. They also have to eat every dish again. I hope they have some Tums in those fanny packs.

Logan comes back around and recites his words. He has two that he knows are correct. He also has two that he’s unsure of, so he goes for broke and picks… the wrong one. Back on the bus, my good-looking friend.

Everyone finally gets the correct three words and makes their way to the ferry that will take them to Lake Como. On the boat, it’s party city. There’s a time to be friends, and there’s a time to be competitors. Cheers to a fun evening in Italy! Unless your name is Vanck or Ashton. Have I mentioned that these people don’t like snobby weirdos?

The next morning, contestants leave in five-minute intervals. Tara and Joey are first. She learns that they can make it to the clue on foot. They just happen to run by an alcove when Tara looks back and sees the clue box. There’s also a U-TURN box. Both decide that they don’t want to be the bad guys and race off to the DETOUR. On the way, they find Liz and Michael. They point out where the clue box is located and encourage them to U-TURN Vanck and Ashton. The teddy bear agrees to do it.

DETOUR:
Make a Mold: Use plaster to form a spooky looking ghost
Grab a Hold: Climb up a vertical rock

Tara and Joey choose to mold ghosts. Liz and Mike U-TURN the snobby weirdos and race to find the rock climbing challenge. They run into Becca and Floyd on the way and show them where to find the clue. After giggling about their own picture, Becca and Floyd U-TURN Mike and Liz, knowing that they have already been there. OH SNAP!

ROLL CALL:
– Tara sits with chicken wire around her body, while Joey molds plaster to the surface.
– Liz and Michael still don’t know which way is north. They eventually find the rock, and Liz threatens to haunt Mike should he drop her to her death.
– In a no-brainer call, Matt scurries up the rock while Redmond holds the slack below.
– Vanck and Ashton are lost.
– Becca gives Matt a run for his money on the vertical rock. She almost beats him.
– Brooke attempts to climb the rock and screams at Scott the entire time. She does not feel safe. She also doesn’t understand why he isn’t walking her through this process.
– London and Logan choose to create things with plaster. This surprises no one.

It’s both a foot race and a boat race to the PIT STOP where Phil is hanging out. Teams must take an Italian watercraft known as “the Ferrari of the seas” to a nearby park. Becca and Floyd are neck and neck with Matt and Redmond. Both teams pull up to the dock at the same time, but #TheBoys’ exit is blocked by a chain. Why they didn’t hop over it is beyond me. Becca and Floyd hurry up to the park while Matt and Redmond watch from below.

RANKINGS:

1. Becca and Floyd— Becca loves the feel of rock in her hands. She wants to share this love with Matt, but he and Redmond are not having it.

2. Matt and Redmond — They are sick and tired of never being in first place.

3. Tara and Joey — Joey’s approach of “making Tara look like the Virgin Mary” worked.

4. Liz and Michael — Middle of the pack is better than last place.

5. Brooke and Scott — Scott’s advice for Brooke is to “use her eyes” and, “It’s like pushing a baby out!” Scott is growing on me.

6. London and Logan — London had the time of her life getting plastered with Logan.

Vanck and Ashton never had a chance. The DOUBLE U-TURN was their downfall, but the good news is that they discovered that people with different backgrounds and personalities can work together and be successful. Pay no attention to Ashton’s tears.

What did you think of this leg? Are you sad to see Vanck go? Would you have been as patient with Brooke as Scott? Raise your hand if you want to get plastered with Logan? Is that just me?