The Real Housewives of Atlanta recap: 'Bosom Buddies'

It’s officially a new year, and who better to start our 2017 off with a bang than the ladies of Atlanta? Last time we visited the ATL, Kandi and Phaedra had a shady attempt at reconciliation over dinner but just ended up pushing their friendship even further into the fire. And this week, after Porsha gets involved, there’s definitely no turning back the clock on this new feud between the two. (Maybe a New Year’s reunion is happening right now, though?!)

Speaking of New Year’s resolutions, Cynthia was already in the spirit when she decides it’s time for a new look. Not a new hairstyle or wardrobe, no, but a little nip and tuck around the bosom. Where else can she get the girls looked at besides Dr. Curves? Per Porsha, every donkey booty in the state heads to Curves, M.D. to get that signature arse.

Thankfully, our teacups have already runneth over with drama, as Cynthia invites everyone along to watch and the ladies take the opportunity to air their grievances with one another. When Porsha and Shereé enter, Kenya doles out hugs and air kisses — and practically in the same breath, makes sure to ask if they went to the same wig shop for their hair. If that wasn’t enough, Phaedra enters to see Kandi, gives her a quick hug, and proceeds to drop this little diddy on us unsuspecting viewers: “I will let sleeping dogs lie. And if it gets shot, I’m sure it will be howling.” Cynthia also reminds the gang this is the third time she’ll have exposed her breasts on RHOA, but this time she chose to do it herself.

As far as procedures go, it looks like nothing is happening to Cynthia’s knockers anytime soon. Meanwhile, there’s plenty of work going around over at Chateau Shereé, but praise the Lord, it looks like it’s all coming together. All she needs to do is put in the fixtures and furnish the place, so everyone won’t be standing around like at the Moore Manor housewarming party.

Also seemingly rejuvenating their life is Noelle, who wants to reconnect with Peter seeing as how he’s another father figure for her. Inviting him to a hot yoga class, Peter ecstatically accepts Noelle’s invitation to a hot yoga class, but mostly because he wants to spend time with her versus his desire to sweat profusely for an hour and fart. Though the pair had a nice chance to bond and relax together, Noelle still has grievances with how Peter handled his divorce from her mom. Noelle explains she doesn’t understand why no one asked her how she was feeling and ponders whether Peter should be allowed in her life now that Cynthia has moved on from him. Peter instantly realizes he didn’t consider his daughter’s emotions, so he apologizes and offers an olive branch so the two can move towards a more positive relationship.

While not exactly hot yoga, Porsha decides to take a “Yoni Egg class,” which is essentially a way for women to exercise their downstairs… You know, where the eggs are. All it takes is the insertion of a glass egg and some flexing, and apparently, your pelvic floor will become as muscular as Shereé’s arms. Luckily, Shereé enters the class to see it all go down but declines the offer to join the workout herself. Instead, Shereé, Porsha and Shamea leave the eggs behind to instead break down the rumors that Kandi spread about Phaedra’s supposed infidelity prior to her divorce from Apollo. Being Phaedra’s new sidekick, Porsha quickly tries to squash the rumor but admits she doesn’t know if it’s true. She argues Kandi shouldn’t be spreading gossip regardless, but interestingly, she quickly turns on that holier-than-thou attitude to drop a little juicy chitchat of her own.

NEXT: It’s no-holds-barred for the ladies of the ATL

Shereé and Porsha don’t hold anything back when getting together with Phaedra to tell her what’s gone down with Kandi. Though Kandi already revealed to Phaedra the rumor she had a man on the side while still being married to Apollo, Phaedra acts shocked to hear this from Porsha. Plus, despite how close Porsha is with Shamea, she throws her right under a bus to get on Phaedra’s good side. Shereé asks how close Shamea and Kandi are, and that’s when Phaedra whispers the bombshell that Kandi and Shamea apparently sleep together. To add insult to injury, Phaedra expands fans the flames by saying Shamea also gets together with Todd in some sort of couples’ orgy. Say what? For some reason, Porsha believes this is an okay conversation to have, even though she just spent the last day talking about how people shouldn’t spread rumors.

Leave it to Porsha to keep digging a hole. After inviting Kandi and Shereé to lunch, Porsha decides it’s time to get everything on the table with Kandi. Lo and behold, it seems what she’s really upset about has nothing to do with Phaedra but everything to do with Block. Back during Kandi’s restaurant tasting, someone brought up how Porsha dated Block for a spell, insinuating Porsha slept with him back in the day. Porsha blames Kandi for spreading this bit of news around town but confirms the two did sleep together anyway. From there, Porsha further dives into how she thinks it’s deplorable for Kandi to have anything to say about Phaedra and Apollo’s relationship. This is where Kandi starts to lose her mind, making it clear she and Phaedra haven’t been close in years and that any negativity in Phaedra’s orbit is appropriate.

Trying to backpedal, Porsha just keeps reiterating how wrong it is to spread a rumor without proof; meanwhile, Kandi assures Porsha that Phaedra was at least chatting with another dude when Apollo first went to jail. “You know what I know,” Kandi says to Porsha, who tries to look like she has no clue what Kandi’s saying. Even Shereé calls out Porsha in her confessional, saying she’s either Phaedra’s ride-or-die protector or just plain stupid. Amid all the bickering, Porsha fails to address the vicious rumor Phaedra started about Shamea and Kandi — but apparently, that’s Porsha’s new MO. She doesn’t want to call hypocrite on herself or Phaedra because that would make them look bad.

In the end, Kandi bids them both farewell and gracefully leaves the table. Before she can even get to her car, Porsha tells Shereé she believes Kandi is “in the closet,” which Shereé points out isn’t really proving to anyone that Porsha’s all about the hard facts versus spreading innuendo.

In the preview for next week, it seems the ladies are stepping away from this argument for the time being and focusing all their attention on what’s going down between Kenya and Matt. Someone gets hit in the face and someone gets hit with a lawsuit, so hit the comments with your predictions.