Top Chef recap: Gender Wars

Sarah Jessica Parker once said that New York City was the fifth gal at the table on Sex and the City. Well, it looks like Vegas is the 18th contestant on this season of Top Chef. So far we’ve seen showgirls sashaying vices turned into food. And last night, the contestants experienced yet another one of Sin City’s traditions — the bachelor and bachelorette party. The challenge pitted the males against the females, but a battle of the sexes was small beans compared to the battle royale between brothers Bryan and Michael. I don’t quite get their relationship. Bryan seems consistently distant from his bro and wants to beat him every chance he gets. Michael, on the other hand, says he wants his brother to win as long as he’s not in the running, but also always wants to one-up him. Confusing. What is this sibling rivalry about anyway? It can’t just be that Michael wants to emulate and exceed his brother and that annoys Bryan. But we’ll save that discussion for the reunion show.

Getting back to the task at hand. The episode opened with another high stakes quickfire and yet another Vegas reference — the craps table: The number on the dice that the chefs rolled at the table indicated the number of ingredients they were to use for their dish, though salt, pepper, and oil were freebies. High numbers are bad, as are low ones, but if you’re a good chef, you should be able to ”roll” with what you’ve got. Get it?

”I’m not one to marry a whole ton of flavors on a plate together, so I’m hoping to roll a low number,” Kevin says. So of course he rolls a 10. But as I noticed in his vice dish from last week’s episode, Kevin’s a smart cookie and decided to make a dish of fewer components with a lot of ingredients. His instincts were right and his asparagus and celery salad was a hit, as was Jen’s smoked salmon and Michael’s new-age nitro gazpacho. Funny considering big bro Bryan criticized Michael for not sticking to the classics. (Side note: It’s interesting how much their physical appearances represent their cooking styles. Straight-edged Bryan is all about the traditional, while laid-back, tattooed Michael loves to color outside the lines. And by risks, I mean Michael looked liked he was doing drill work with that nitrogen.) Anyway, Bryan’s blood must’ve been boiling when this week’s quickfire judge and Ken Doll-esque chef Todd English deemed Bryan’s poached black cod one of his least favorites, along with Eve’s overpowering grilled asparagus and Jesse’s mushy upon mushy scallop-mashed chick pea combo. To make matters worse, English loved Michael’s gazpacho, calling it a great twist on a classic. So there! Staying safe doesn’t always work in your favor, Bryan. Michael ended up winning the $15,000, immunity for the challenge, and a smug look of satisfaction. Michael: 1, Bryan: 0.

NEXT PAGE: Pool Party

This week’s challenge had the chefs cater a bachelor and bachelorette party, but with their challenge were two spins. The first: the chefs were split into two teams of male vs. female (males cooking for the bachelorette party and female for the bachelor), and the second: at least two of their dishes had to complement a shot chosen by the couple — golden delicious, Moscow mule or tequila. Add to the mix the fact that the bride-to-be is pescetarian (eats fish but no meat) and has a vegan friend coming, and you’ve got quite a mission to accomplish. But their challenge presented another battle for the night: Ashley vs. gay marriage rights. The idea of participating in something that she, Preeti, and Ash (all of whom are gay) can’t do themselves seems pretty outrageous to Ashley. We cheer Ashley for speaking up and jeer Preeti for being so non-reactive, but on Ashley goes with the challenge.

Ashley and the girls stick to more classic, comfort foods, which is probably a good idea when cooking for men, especially at a bachelor party, where they’re likely thinking more about the cocktails than the cod. But even without much commentary, there seemed to be an air of early defeat amongst the girls. Ashley mentions that some of the girls hadn’t even seen some of the ingredients the boys were cooking with and Robin says that cooking, when she started, was a man’s world. Perhaps Ashley’s fears got the best of her when she attempted two dishes. Sure she wanted to please the groom-to-be with a dessert for his sweet tooth, but under that sort of time crunch? Jen tried to dissuade her, but it fell upon deaf ears. I like Jen’s focus. Me thinks this one is going to be around for a while.

As for the guys, they momentarily scrambled to finish Hector’s dish but pulled it together with an edgy mix of foods. Some of the standouts? Hector’s tofu ceviche, Bryan’s sweet and sour macaroons, and Michael’s apple sorbet and goat cheese cookie. Special props to Hector for making the tofu so apparently flavorful — processed soy can only be so tasty, and this coming from a vegetarian.

The booze-filled joint party was a hit for the couple, but of course it was — it was booze-filled, after all. The judges had the final verdict and even though the crowd was digging the females’ plates, Tom, Padma, Gail, and Todd couldn’t show them the same love, especially not to Jesse and Eve, who failed to impress them once again. But the nail on the coffin was Ashley’s sub-par panna cotta, which nearly discounted her watermelon carpaccio that English called ”one of the best dishes of the day.”

As for the guys, the judges liked the boys’ dishes better on the whole, but it was obvious that it came down to Bryan’s macaroons and Michael’s sorbet. The battle of the siblings continues. Even Gail acknowledged that it was head to head between the brothers.

In the end, Eve got the boot for her poorly cooked ceviche, but she left just as she came — unnoticed. And Bryan’s macaroons took first place, much to my surprise, considering how much fawning there was over Michael’s sorbet. Bryan: 1, Michael: 1. No one likes ties, though, and Michael vows to beat Bryan next time. Next time? I hope the producers don’t keep reusing the sibling subplot. I’d like to see some bitchy Jen action next, and it looks like I will when the she gets mouthy during next week’s challenge. The claws are out!

Did you guys think Eve should’ve been sent home? Who do you think will come out on top of this sibling rivalry? And by the way, was anyone else surprised that smack-talking Mike I. didn’t crack one male vs. female joke (at least not as far as we saw)?