Kaitlin Olson riffs on Game of Thrones, Deadwood, and Splash

Kaitlin Olson of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia fame plays a responsibility-phobic degenerate who must look after her on-the-lam sister’s kids on the new Fox comedy The Mick (debuting Sunday). Before the 41-year-old actress is put to the parenting test, let’s give her a different kind of challenge.

Your caretaker of choice is:
A) Tony Micelli, Who’s the Boss
B) ***Nell Harper, Gimme a Break
C) Fran Fine, The Nanny
D) Charles, Charles in Charge
She looks like a ton of fun. She didn’t mess around, you know what I mean?

You voice a whale shark in Finding Dory. What is the most underrated water-based movie?
Splash should have won every Oscar. It’s a mermaid! She ends up getting legs and living in Manhattan! The greatest thing about that movie is that he ends up going back with her at the end. She doesn’t have to stay in his stupid land — she’s from under the sea! So, it’s a female empowerment movie.

You’ve played Becky, Cheryl’s sister on Curb Your Enthusiasm. What’s your go-to Seinfeld joke?
Anything having to do with Elaine — mostly her dancing. Anyone willing to make a total jackass of themselves and think that they’re being cool is so funny to me. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is a gigantic influence in my life. I love her so much. I loved that character. I loved that she was one of the guys and yet she was a bit of a doof.

The voice you’d want on your GPS app:
I tried to mess around with Siri and make it an Australian man or British man. I found it upsetting. I felt like it was trying to pull one over on me. No thanks. Give me a soothing woman who knows where she’s going. Allison Janney. Strong. Soothing. In charge. Just tell me where to go, Allison.

Name a book that you’ve claimed to have read but never actually did:
Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead. Someone gave me it as a present. They were like, “You’re going to love this.” I could not understand it for the life of me. I was like, “What is this?” Did not finish it and totally pretended I read it. Made me feel real dumb… By the way, I’m a huge reader. Little known fact: At the Olson house in Oregon, you go to bed at eight o’clock on a school night, you read for an hour and then you turn the lights off.

You play a bartender on It’s Always Sunny. Pick a barkeep you’d most want to get drunk with:
A) Moe Szyslak, The Simpsons
B) Sam Malone, Cheers
C) ***Al Swearengen, Deadwood
D) Isaac Washington, The Love Boat
It breaks my heart to not pick Sam Malone, because I grew up watching Cheers, but Deadwood was my favorite show as soon as I watched it. We’d probably talk about all of the prostitutes in the town and how badass they are… If there are any other Deadwood questions in this whole thing, just know that that’s going to be my answer.

You worked on Punk’d, The Jamie Kennedy Experiment, and Meet the Marks. What is the best prank you’ve played on a celebrity friend in real life?
One time, for April Fools Day, we wrote an entire script of Sunny that was totally fake and sent it to Danny [DeVito], where he gets sent to prison and just gets brutalized the entire time he’s there. I’ll let you use your imagination about what happens, but it’s extremely graphic. He passed it to his manager and his business manager and Rhea [Perlman, his wife], and he was like, “Can you guys read this and tell me what you think? Is this funny?” It was amazing. I can’t take any credit for it, but it was by proxy — I was married to the guy [Sunny creator/star Rob McElhenney] who did it… I know this is very hard to believe but I hate making people uncomfortable. I’m very, very nice. I don’t prank people. I pop up with surprise gifts.

What is the song that you want to be played at your funeral?
House of Pain’s “Jump Around.” You want it to be a celebration of life, right? Let’s make it a party! “Jump up, jump up, and get down!”

If you could guest-star on any show and only say one line, what’s the show and what’s the line?
Game of Thrones. And I would say, “Winter is never coming, is it?”

The Mick premieres on Jan. 1 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Fox.