This Is Us: Justin Hartley shares fake spoilers from the show

Depending on your viewpoint, spoilers are the absolute best thing ever or the absolute worst thing ever. But fake spoilers? Well, they’re just good fun. On this week’s episode of Entertainment Weekly: The Show, This Is Us star Justin Hartley, who plays Kevin Pearson, stopped by to share some crazy plot twists that’ll most definitely never happen on the show.

Here’s just a taste of what he comes up with:

1. The Steelers win the Super Bowl, causing Jack (Milo Ventimiglia) to bronze his terrible towel but still wear it to cover his crotch. “Lucky you,” adds Hartley.

2. A Mandy Moore song plays in the background during one of her scenes and the universe of the show folds into itself.

3. The creators make a spinoff show called This Is Butts. It becomes the world’s first family drama to exclusively contain closeups of people’s butts.

Watch the clip above to hear more of Hartley’s fake spoilers, and catch the full episode on the People/Entertainment Weekly Network (PEN) at PEOPLE.com/PEN, or download the PEN app on Apple TV, Roku Players, Amazon Fire TV, Xumo, Chromecast, iOS, and Android devices.

To find out what actually happens on This Is Us, tune in Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET on NBC.