Lucifer season 5 binge recap: Double trouble in Part 1

Lucifer rose from the dead for a miracle fourth season last year, and since then has been renewed two more times: once for a two-part season 5 (the first eight episodes dropped Aug. 21, with the back half being held for an unannounced future date), and then a surprise renewal giving it a sixth and final season.

Lucifer (Tom Ellis) ended last season revealing his true identity to Chloe (Lauren German) before returning to hell to assume control and keep the humans he loves safe. Season 5 finds the Devil on his throne in hell and Chloe solving murders topside, with plenty of celestial pining to go around. Let's dive in!

Episode 1: "Really Sad Devil Guy"

Okay, let's get the most important thing out of the way first: Chloe has bangs.

Also, she's doing fine. The man who's been pursuing her for years turns out to be the Devil, they confessed their love for each other, and then he hightailed it to hell, presumably forever?

She's fine. She just has bangs now, okay?

As for the rest of the cast, Lucifer season 5 opens two months after the events of the season 4 finale, so let's do a quick check-in:

Maze is working crime scenes and hitting bars with Chloe, but she's so devastated by Eve's departure that she can barely bring herself to speak her name.

Ella's hurt that Lucifer ghosted her when he moved to Florida to help with his family business (ha!), and she's worried about her attraction to the bad boys.

Dr. Linda's going way overboard in educating her very special child (STEM classes! Japanese lessons! Yoga! Art appreciation!), while Amenadiel's trying to root out drug dealers at Lux to keep the world safe for little Charlie.

Dan, of all people, helps out both new parents with some simple advice: Be there, and be present. The rest will come. Looks like Detective Douche's new interest in essential oils, self-help books, and CrossFit is doing a bit of good as he copes with Charlotte's death.

As for Lucifer, two months on earth have been thousands of years in hell, so imagine his surprise when he spots a familiar face in one of the hell loops he's overseeing: Lee Garner, a.k.a. Mr. Said Out Bitch from the previous three season premieres.

After Lucifer gifted him money and gold in season 4, Lee started living a yacht-and-leopard-print-bikini life, but he took a few bullets in the chest and ended up in Lucifer's care. When the king of hell realizes who's in his clutches, he can't resist the temptation to help Lee solve his murder since he's pretty sure which Los Angeles detective will also be investigating it.

And he's correct! Earth-side, an obviously hungover Chloe is interviewing Lee's sister Meg, who says she and her brother were estranged when he died and she has no idea why the murderer would've severed Lee's hand at the wrist postmortem.

Chloe's next stop is a high-stakes poker game run by Dirty Doug Dargesian, where Lee lost big. She and Maze infiltrate the exclusive game, and Chloe in her gorgeous poison-green suit gets to play and lose big to attract Doug's attention, with Maze as her slinky arm candy.

Intercut with this scene is Lucifer walking through the same venue with Lee, searching for clues the way Chloe would. But when Lee can't help him, Lucifer lashes out and destroys the shadow version of L.A. he'd created, leaving them in a dark, dusty hellscape.

On earth, Chloe's attempt to question Doug rattles a henchman in the background who bolts, with Maze in hot pursuit. (Getcha a woman who can rock a silver minidress and drop armed guards without breaking a sweat.)

The suspect runs into the road and gets creamed by traffic Meet Joe Black-style. In hell, Lucifer meets this poor unfortunate soul and pops one of his demons into the man's battered body on earth with a message for Chloe about the case: "It's safe where you stored it."

Chloe, who's overwhelmed by this unexpected contact from Lucifer, has no idea what this means, but Ella does: Lee's case notes reference the You Stored It facility.

At the storage unit, they find Meg and an empty biometric safe, which explains the missing hand. Meg says it's hard to accept that her brother's really gone and suggests the murderer may be one of Lee's old crew after his stash of treasure.

Meanwhile, things between Lucifer and Lee have broken down further. Lucifer accuses Lee of manipulating him and, enraged, ups the torture by showing Lee the root of his hell loop: his sister's baby shower. He sat outside rather than walk through the door, and he never had another chance to reconcile with his family.

Lucifer taunts Lee for choosing an eternity alone over disappointing his family again. Then Lee cuts right to the heart of Lucifer (and Lucifer) when he asks, "This isn't just about me, is it?" Oh, silly man. It never is.

Lucifer insists he's only in hell to protect Chloe — er, all of humanity — from the demon revolt he quelled at the end of the last season. Then a demon shows up with a newly arrived soul to warn Lucifer that Chloe's in trouble.

The dead man is a member of Lee's crew, dispatched just now by Chloe when they mounted an assault on her and Meg in Meg's home in the hopes of finding Lee's money.

On earth, bullets are flying everywhere when Chloe orders Meg to run while she draws fire in what's clearly a suicide mission. And without warning, in strolls Lucifer, whistling the show's theme song. (Eeee! How great is an in-episode nod to a show's theme song?)

Chloe freezes for a moment, and then they immediately pivot to taking out the rest of the goons. Lucifer saves Chloe and Chloe saves Lucifer, and when they're finally face to face, Chloe pulls him in for a kiss.

Y'all. There is nothing I love more in this world than a wordless kiss the first time a couple sees each other after being separated. This was good, good, good.

Except maybe not for Chloe. She says Lucifer seems different, but he explains that for him, thousands of years have passed. "The only thing that kept me going was thinking of you."

The episode ends with Ella hooking up with Dirty Doug, and Maze, whose lonely and confused advances on Chloe were rejected, showing up in Lucifer's penthouse to destroy his grand piano in an orgy of efficient violence. (Is there any other kind with our favorite demon?)

And then we cut to Lucifer in Lee's hell loop, declining to help Chloe during the shootout because she'll be fine without him.

So if that's not Lucifer, then who's hugging Chloe?

Stray feathers

To the devil with the Netflix trailer maker for giving away the dual Lucifers we'll be seeing this season. I would so have preferred to be surprised by the bait-and-switch in the final minutes here.
RIP, Lee! Opening the season with his death feels like a huge indication that season 5 was originally planned as the show's final one before a last-minute decision added a sixth season. I'm already looking ahead to the final season premiere to see if there's some way to work Mr. Said Out Bitch into the episode one last time.
Ella's front-and-center attraction to bad boys gets mild side-eye from me. Seems like we haven't seen her with all that many men, period, but if this is the story the show wants to tell this season, I'm happy to roll with it.
So. Two Lucifers. Who's excited? Let's dive into episode 2!

Episode 2: "Lucifer! Lucifer! Lucifer!"

Raise your hand if you feel personally victimized by Tom Ellis' American accent.

There's nothing technically wrong with it. It's good, even! But to see that face and that suit but not hear that posh accent emerge from those lips… it's difficult, friends. It's difficult.

And that's entirely the point. That naked man standing in front of the mirror practicing his British delivery is actually Michael, Lucifer's twin brother, and it's impressive how Ellis makes Michael-as-Lucifer's performance ever so slightly off from the suave Devil we know.

Chloe's bothered by it too. For one thing, Lucifer's telling lies now, and he's asking people what they fear instead of what they desire. Lucifer explains that spending a few thousand years in hell changes a man.

Chloe brings her concerns to Dr. Linda, who's also surprised Lucifer changed his policy on honesty, and frets that Lucifer didn't actually tell her he loved her back before he left for hell.

At the precinct, the situation gets weirder for Chloe. Michael-fer doesn't do any of the things that Chloe always pretended to hate: drinking from a flask, hitting on random women, losing his cool with suspects, messing with Dan. There's nothing impulsive, inappropriate, or sinful, and it's freaking her out.

Maze gets answers a little quicker than Chloe does when she attacks the person she thinks is Lucifer in his penthouse, enraged that he went back to hell without her.

Michael, who's visibly favoring one shoulder as if it's injured, pops his dirty gray wings and says he got tired of his angelic siblings singing "Lucifer, Lucifer, Lucifer's" praises in heaven. When he'd had enough, he assumed his brother's identity and set out to wreck his life to get Lucifer to reveal his true colors.

Maze warns him that humans are smart, especially Chloe, but Michael has diabolical plans to break her heart. Maze reluctantly agrees to his plans since she too would like the chance to get some Lucifer revenge.

Now to the crime of the episode: Biochemist Judy Mason was murdered in the second Mars Project aerospace simulation, which was packed with rich civilians training to be the first colonists on Mars.

One of the mission control employees is Sam Chavez, who went through the first simulation and says it changes a person to be away from friends and family for so long. Following that conversation, Michael-fer confronts Chloe's concerns head on: Yes, he's changed, but his feelings are the same. He just needs a little more time.

And what better way to pass that time than staking out disgruntled Mars Project ex-employee Donovan Glover? Glover drives his car straight at them, so Michael-fer unfurls his wings and sweeps Chloe safely into the air, to which I say thank you, Netflix special-effects budget! That was a spectacular shot.

Glover explains that Judy was having an affair with the Mars Project owner Anders Brody, the rich jerk we met in episode 3 of last season. While they wait for their chance to interview Brody (he's on a suborbital flight, which is pretty good as far as excuses go), Chloe shows up at the penthouse with Lucifer's favorite burger and fries, only to find him making out with Maze. BETRAYAL!

Gotta say, this was hard to watch, even knowing it was actually Michael. A visibly upset Chloe tells him she's trying to be patient, but she doesn't know how to trust him anymore. Seriously, poor Chloe. This is so much for her to process.

The next day, Brody is nothing but happy to see the devil who helped him find forgiveness the last time they met. But Michael-fer hits him with the "What do you fear?" whammy and finds out Brody's actually terrified of space and created a sham project to compete with Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk. Billionaire peer pressure is the worst.

Also, Anders and Judy were having an affair, and when she found out that the whole project was fake, she threatened to tell the world. Still, he swears they made up and he's not the killer.

Back at the precinct, Chloe and Maze have a stilted conversation wherein Maze looks regretful that she upset Chloe so much in her bid for Lucifer revenge, particularly when Chloe says she knows how wounded Maze is by Eve's absence. Of course, she also says Lucifer was clearly desperate to have reached to Maze for comfort, which… solid burn, lady!

Okay, Chloe had better be playing all of them at this point because I have to believe she's too mature to refer to sex as "the next level" under any normal circumstance.

Anyway, she executes her next-level plan by trying to seduce Michael-fer with close talking, gentle touches, and charged looks over coffee, telling him she's ready to evolve with this new version of Lucifer.

Catching sight of their reflection in the vending machine glass (so romantic!) provides the next clue, and Chloe's off to check the security footage for reflections of the killer in all that shiny Mars Project equipment.

Ella finds Mars Project footage with a reflection showing an inferior oxygen tube setup compared to the Red 2 project. When Chloe murmurs that change should be considered an improvement, they're off to talk to mission control employee Sam Chavez, who participated in Red 1 with an older model suit.

Sam says he also knew the Mars Project was all a publicity stunt and assumed Brody was the murderer, but twist! His co-worker Mandy confesses that she killed Judy out of jealousy. Mandy and Sam are in love, but when he got back from the isolation of Mars 1, he was so different that she worried he didn't love her anymore.

Sam assures her that whether he's on earth, the moon, or Mars, his feelings for her are the same, which is lovely but also very sad because she's about to be tried for murder.

Speaking of people we'd all like to murder, Michael-fer gets a talking-to from Dr. Linda about his lying and his abandonment of hell. After all, the last time that happened, the demons kidnapped her baby.

Michael-fer hits Linda with the fear whammy and tells her she has good reason to worry that she'll be a bad mother. First, I'm desperate to know what that means, and second, LEAVE DR. LINDA ALONE, YOU MONSTER.

After all that, Michael decides he's going to slip right into Lucifer's life, and into Chloe's bed while he's at it, even if he has to choke out Maze to do it. (She had a change of heart about hurting Lucifer by hurting Chloe because deep down Maze is a good person — er, demon.)

When Chloe rolls into the penthouse, Michael-fer tells her he loves her, fakes recognizing the bullet necklace, and gets ready for some Chloe-loving. But she has a different idea and shoots him to prove he's not the devil she knows.

OH THANK GOD, SHE WAS PLAYING HIM. She knew something was off from the first kiss, and seeing him with Maze clinched that he wasn't the man she loves. She swears she'll never lose faith in Lucifer.

Then Michael tells one actual truth: Chloe is a gift, made explicitly for Lucifer by God himself. She claims not to believe him but is clearly shaken.

By the end of the episode, Chloe's lost in thought, Maze is awake and angry, and Linda's gazing sadly at an old Polaroid that looks an awful lot like herself holding a baby in 1994.

Amenadiel approaches Michael in Lux and orders him back to heaven, but the worst angel threatens to tell Remy about Charlie. (Remember, Remiel isn't a big fan of unsanctioned celestials.)

Amenadiel merely gloats that Lucifer is and always has been better than Michael, which Michael seems to take as a personal challenge, and Amenadiel heads straight to hell to tell Lucifer that he's needed topside.

Stray feathers

Won't you join me in a huge sigh of relief that this fake-identity story lasted exactly one episode, and we can all move forward from there? A 24-episode show would've kept that going for at least a month, so here's to brisk plotting!
Further props to whichever writer named one of the rich astronaut wannabes Venus Hyatt. That's hot.
Michael threatened to achy-break Chloe's heart, and I couldn't help but wonder: Does Billy Ray Cyrus play on a loop in heaven?
I sincerely hope someone else out there saw Amenadiel wearing little Charlie in a sling at Lux and thought to yourself, "You have a baby! In a bar!"

Episode 3: "¡Diablo!"

Lucifans, can you believe it took the show this long to do a Hollywood-spoof-of-Lucifer episode?

Lieutenant ¡Diablo! features a brilliant, unorthodox investigator with a huge ego and a sharp suit who's partnered with Detective Dancer, a breathy sexpot who went from the stripper pole to the detective pool in three short years.

We also get the reunion we've been waiting for when Lucifer returns to earth, and it takes approximately 30 seconds in the presence of his vanity and his desire whammy to convince Chloe that he's really back.

She greets him with a hug instead of a kiss this time (watch Tom Ellis' face soften as he melts into her arms — swoon!), but alas, future kissing is highly unlikely after Lucifer confirms that what Michael said is true: He's known for a year that Chloe was a gift from God, created for him.

Lucifer assures her that it doesn't change how much he loves her, but Chloe's world is (understandably) rocked. If Lucifer's the only reason she's on earth, where is her free will? Is her whole life a lie?

Don't you worry — the case of the episode's going to drive this point home! Lieutenant ¡Diablo! showrunner Matt Owens has been murdered, and after Lucifer went to the trouble of doing him a favor by introducing him to a network exec and talking to him for hours about his work with the LAPD.

Lucifer is, of course, delighted by the fictional homage of a detective who comes up with wild theories based on people's yearnings, other than the fact that the Diablo actor uses hot cinnamon vape cartridges.

But Chloe's horrified at the oversexed way her character is portrayed and asks the actress if it bothered her that she has no say in what her character does. Dancer replies earnestly, "There are strippers out there considering becoming detectives now." Hey, representation matters! You can't be what you don't see.

Their next visit is with Matt's No. 2, Keri Belwood, who says he was a lazy control freak who routinely threw out the writers' work and replaced it with plot innovations such as "another lap dance!" Also, he used to work in a seedy motel full of tweakers and burnouts, which raises Chloe's suspicions.

At the motel, the actors playing Diablo and Dancer bust in, certain they've just cracked the case thanks to a motel matchbook Diablo stole from the crime scene. (Lucifer's pleased at this on-brand action.)

But they quickly determine that Matt was at the motel not to score drugs, but to write in a place where he found inspiration early in his career. At this point, Chloe's had enough and kicks out all actors and kings of hell so she can focus on her job.

A hot cinnamon vape cartridge found at the crime scene sends them to question the actor playing Diablo, but alas, he's dead in his trailer, killed by a prop knife.

And where do they find that bloody knife stashed? In second-in-command Keri Belwood's office. Chloe swiftly slaps on the cuffs.

Meanwhile, Maze and Dr. Linda check out Lieutenant ¡Diablo!. Maze is suuuper into her depiction as a huge, buff bald man who makes out with a sexpot Dr. Linda. (Linda is far less pleased with her portrayal.)

Side note: I'm enjoying this tiny little meta-commentary on how too many shows and movies dial up women's sex appeal far beyond reason while limiting the ways they can be physically tough. This is obviously exaggerated to prove a point, but dang if it's not still highly recognizable as a frustrating entertainment industry trope.

Anyway, Maze is also up in her feels about how everyone just comes and goes in her life, including Linda, whom she predicts will drop dead in five years. Linda tries to joke that at least they'll be able to hang out in hell, and then she digs into Maze's fears of abandonment.

At first Maze says all she has are her blades and they never let her down, but by the end of the episode she's had too much to drink and tearfully asks why Lucifer, Chloe, and especially Eve all left her.

Oh, these two. They're my favorite powerhouse duo on the show! Also, can we talk really quickly about the good doctor's belief that she's going to hell? Linda, baby, no!

Okay, let's solve this case. On the Lieutenant ¡Diablo! set, Chloe chats with Dancer, asking how she feels about playing a character whose every action is in service to another character. Dancer drops her positive attitude about the show and admits she hates saying those insipid lines and wearing those tacky clothes.

Around the time that Dancer's waxing poetic about a tiny indie film she wants to do, Chloe has figured out that Dancer wanted her freedom from the show, so she killed Matt, framed Keri, and killed Diablo when he "deduced her yearning" in real life.

This leaves Lucifer free for a wing-off with Michael, who calls him Samael and gloats that he incepted Lucifer into rebelling against God, tempting Eve, and taking this walkabout on Earth. It launches a fight that's both fierce and hilariously undignified as they grapple in the piano wreckage like two brothers fighting over who fragged whom in Call of Duty.

But the battle ends with Lucifer grabbing one of Maze's blades and slicing it across Michael's face. Whoa. Identical twins no more.

A battered, bloody Lucifer shows up at Chloe's, but Chloe's not super-sympathetic to hear that Michael's been manipulating him since the dawn of time.

Chloe shoots back that this situation doesn't compare in the least. He's a celestial being, and she's a human who was created to fall in love with the Devil. Boo hoo that his brother's a jerk sometimes.

It's safe to say this isn't the reunion Lucifer spent thousands of years in hell imagining. Then again, Chloe's feeling something similar. "I thought what we had was real," she says before walking out.

UGGHHH, I get it, the show wants to keep them apart some more, and as conflicts go this one is resonant and true to both characters. But… let them kissssssssss already.

In the final minutes of the episode, Maze rolls into Chloe's place and finds someone she thinks is Lucifer. She starts to apologize and says he wasn't the one she was upset with when she attacked him.

Then Michael reveals the nasty knife wound to the face and stops Maze from hurting him further with the promise of a secret Lucifer's been keeping from Maze. Hmm, curious…

Stray feathers

Don't you love a show that plays with its opening credits on occasion? RIP, Lieutenant ¡Diablo! (and actual Lieutenant Diablo). You were too cheesy for this world.
Let it be noted: Chloe's grief bangs are gone, and the no-nonsense detective is back.
So now Ella's getting texts from someone showing off his tattooed penis? Again, this doesn't feel totally in character for the Ella we've known, but I still cannot wait to see what this is all building toward.
Anybody from Netflix want to slide us some outtakes from Lucifer and Dan doing a script reading from Lieutenant ¡Diablo! in space?

Episode 4: "It Never Ends Well for the Chicken"

Who's ready for a clever, gimmicky episode that lets the actors stretch their wings while also moving the plot forward a hop or two?

Lucifer's disappointed when Trixie arrives without Chloe for game night, and when she rightfully points out that Monopoly is terrible to play with two people (or any number of people, really), he agrees to tell her a story. Her topic of choice: the origin of his ring.

From here, the action jumps to 1946 New York, rendered in gorgeously lush black and white. Decked out in a natty suit and hat, Lucifer strolls into the Garden Club to hear the best chanteuse in the city perform.

It's Maze's mother, Lilith (also played by Lesley-Ann Brandt), who tears through Eartha Kitt's "I Want to Be Evil" while Lucifer grins in appreciation. After the performance, Lilith — going by Lily Rose here — takes Lucifer to her dressing room, where she changes behind a picture-perfect backlit dressing screen.

She's upset because her ring, the only item in the universe of value to her, has been stolen, and she requests Lucifer's help getting it back.

"The Devil solving crime. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," he muses.

His first stop is P.I. Jack Monroe, and when Trixie interjects that she wants some gender equity in this story, Lucifer switches his narrative to cast Chloe in the role, complete with suit and hat. For purposes of the story, though, let's stick with a male pronoun.

Jack, a hard-boiled World War II vet straight out of the Maltese Falcon school of private dicks, takes Lucifer to the club where brassy bartender Gertie (Dr. Linda, sporting charming cat-eye glasses) gives them some intel: A handsome, beefy, strong-jawed, eye-patched man named Lucky Larry was hanging around Lily's dressing room the night the ring disappeared.

A nearby patron invites Jack to meet him in the alley, where they're set on by toughs. Fisticuffs ensue until a shadow dramatically appears at the end of the alley, holding a gun.

The shadow belongs to Garden Club's owner, Tommy Stompanato (Ella in a mustache, having a marvelous time). Lily is Stompanato's girl, and Stompanato doesn't want them poking around the club anymore.

That night, we follow Jack home and witness his strained marriage to Shirley (Charlotte! So good to see Tricia Helfer again!). Poor sweet Shirley tries to keep up a conversation over dinner, but Jack is surly and unpleasant. Then Lucky Larry shows up to expire on their doorstep with a knife in his back. Cue the 1940s music crescendo!

Amusingly, Gertie the bartender serves a similar function to Dr. Linda in that she listens to Lilith discuss why the missing ring is so important to her. The stone is the only thing she took with her when her marriage to Adam ended and she was cast out of the Garden of Eden. She was glad to be exiled, but "I sure did love that garden."

In return, Gertie shares that her husband, Bill, was wounded in Guadalcanal, and the doctors have warned her that he's not likely to recover, so she treasures every day they have left together.

Lucifer and Jack have a new lead: Willy the Sausage Prince argued with Lucky Larry the day before. While they drive, Jack explains the cold war between him and Shirley: She's a call girl Jack's captain procured him to roust him out of his postwar shell shock.

Lucifer congratulates Jack on marrying an experienced woman, but Jack can't shake the knowledge that their marriage is based on a lie. (We see you, parallels.)

Willy's a pompous rich man (played by Dan, naturally) who proudly serves his guests mini-sausages, causing Lucifer to quip, "My dear friend Sigmund would've had a field day with you."

Willy, a collector of war memorabilia who ducked out of serving in WWII, admits to buying questionably procured items from Larry in the past but denies killing him.

He does provide Larry's address, and in that depressing hovel (even Lucifer's shook, and he's seen Kafka's hell loop), Lucifer and Jack find an expensive cigar stub favored by Stompanato.

Off they go to Stompanato's mansion, where he's been murdered, his heart cut out of his chest, a mask on his face, and a hieroglyph symbol drawn on one eye.

Lucifer recognizes the Eye of Horus, which sends them to a secret occult shop overseen by Melvin the Magnificent (a jocular Amenadiel). When they ask him about any Egyptian heart-removal ceremonies, he offers them a variety of packages on a sliding cost scale. (The economy option includes a presacrificed chicken heart and the mask from Stompanato's murder scene.)

Melvin denies having anything to do with Stompanato's death and says he'd love to sell Lilith's ring of immortality, but he's never gotten his hands on it.

So that ends the trail. Lucifer breaks the news to Lilith, and then we get my favorite scene in the episode: Not only are we reminded that Lucifer's grateful she sent him her children to be his army and his only companions, but she explains how her ring became linked to immortality.

After crossing the ocean with Cortés, she hooked up with Montezuma, lied about being a virgin, and ended up sacrificed in a volcano. Naturally she survived, but her escapades were recorded on a stone tablet, and the legend began.

When she wishes she could see the thief's face when he realizes her ring doesn't convey immortality, she and Lucifer hatch a plan. She'll make a big show of hinting that a big gaudy bracelet is necessarily in activating the ring's immortality, then Shirley dressed as a cigarette girl will stash it in her dressing room. Jack will lie in wait to catch the person who tries to steal it.

That night, Shirley tells Jack that after this is over, she's moving back home to Des Moines. Lilith watches them talk and asks Lucifer if he's ever made an emotional connection with a human. He shudders and says it'd take a literal miracle. (We see you, winking reference to the present!) Then he seats himself at the piano to accompany Lilith on "Someone to Watch Over Me," and it's absolutely lovely.

The plan works like a charm, and Jack catches Willy trying to use the bracelet to activate the ring. But twist! It was Gertie who hired Larry to steal the ring to save her beloved husband's life. Lilith doesn't understand what drove Gertie to these lengths, and she explains that she'd rather die trying to save Bill's life than live forever without him.

When the police arrive, Jack gently suggests that Lilith skip mentioning Gertie's involvement, and she agrees to leave let her stay with Bill. Then Jack asks Shirley if he can travel with her to Des Moines so they can talk things out, and their subsequent kiss hints that they just might make a go of the marriage after all.

All the human goings-on have made Lilith reflective, and she decides that knowing life comes to an end is what makes the rest of it count. With that, she places her immortality into her ring and gives it to Lucifer.

He offers to bring her children up to say goodbye, but she doesn't want her perfect, unbreakable offspring to unlearn their lessons from hell. Because of how they were raised, they can never be banished or abandoned or cast out of the garden. Then she walks off to start the process of aging and dying.

Back in the present, Trixie is pleased to hear that Jack and Shirley moved to Des Moines and thanks Lucifer for the story. But once she's on the elevator, she's greeted by Maze, who hands her a wad of cash and asks to hear the story she just extracted. Clever, clever, clever.

This leads Maze to Reno, where she finds an aged Lilith. When Maze asks why Lilith abandoned her children, she says she wanted to make her children strong, and it worked. "I can see you don't need anyone."

Maze is unmoved by this answer, and I'm excited to see what comes next for hell's head torturer.

Stray feathers

What a beautiful love letter to 1940s cinema, style, and storytelling! Again we've got special credits that reflect the episode's content, and everything from the music cues to the florid use of light and shadows made this outing feel retro and nostalgic in marvelous ways. The cast clearly had a ball playing brand-new characters, and bonus points for finding a way to get Brandt to sing again. Maze's rendition of "Wonderwall" was one of my favorite parts of season 4.
What a good sport Kevin Alejandro is as his character's evolved into such a consistent butt of jokes. That said, my word, he's got a face made to be a 1940s movie star. Casting directors, take note.
So will Lilith's ring offer a convenient way to imbue Chloe with immortality down the road so she can spend an eternity with Lucifer? Or am I adding import to a one-off story line?

Episode 5: "Detective Amenadiel"

Hey, how about a little character growth this hour? Good growth. Deckerstar growth. *happy dance*

But let's start with Maze, who seeks out Linda after finding "the bitch," a.k.a. her mother. Linda's defense of Lilith raises Maze's hackles, and Linda confirms what we've all been suspecting: She gave up a baby when she was 17 by simply slipping out of the hospital when she realized she couldn't raise her daughter.

Maze is disgusted and correctly guesses it's why Linda assumes she's going to hell. "I think about her every single day," Linda whispers. Then Maze shocks her by announcing that she knows exactly where her daughter, Adriana, is.

The two women drop by an open house hosted by the blond, bespectacled realtor, who's unfailingly friendly as Linda struggles to string a single sentence together and Maze aggressively grills her about her abandonment issues.

Afterward Maze calls Linda a coward, and Linda snaps that Maze needs to back off and let Adriana decide if she's ready to meet her biological mother.

Sadly, it's too late for Maze, who arrives back in Reno to learn that Lily Rose died a couple of days ago. No chance to say, "I hate you." No chance to say, "I forgive you." She's just gone.

But it gives Maze some clarity, and she returns to Linda's with an apology in the form of a release form for bio parents who'd like to meet their children. The women hug, and wow, these two are both really going through it this season.

Okay, now let's hit the crime of the episode. Chloe (hair check: back to messy bangs!) asks Lucifer to give her time to process the revelations about her origins and dives into a case to distract herself from the God stuff.

Alas, the murder victim is nun-in-training Victoria Reynard. She's found dead of blunt-force trauma at her nunnery, with bruising on her neck that doesn't match the cross necklace found with the body.

When Chloe has a small meltdown about God sending her nuns, she realizes she needs backup and calls in… Amenadiel! He's available because he left hell after he heard his father's voice telling him he was no longer needed as its warden. (Lucifer isn't exactly happy that he was on guard duty for millennia, while Amenadiel gets sprung after one sleepover.)

Chloe's crossing her fingers that he'll have a gift similar to Lucifer's desire mojo. He assures her he doesn't, but as they speak, they become aware that all the nuns have gathered around them in a smiling circle, all eager to talk to the beautiful angel. LOL!

With very little effort, Amenadiel gets the nuns to reveal that their mother superior, Angelica, committed a murder years ago and ran away to join the convent.

Angelica readily turns herself in (hi, Ivonne Coll/Abuela from Jane the Virgin!) and says she killed in self-defense when she was 16, but she reconciled with God and definitely didn't kill Victoria to cover it up. Then she gives Chloe a pep talk about faith and free will. "You have more control than you think, my child," she says kindly.

Lucifer, meanwhile, isn't thrilled to see Amenadiel taking his place with Chloe. Worse, he ends up paired with Dan doing the grunt work of background checks and witness statements.

Wanting to speed up the conclusion of Chloe's case so they can resolve their issues before he has to return to hell, Lucifer suggests they just seduce the truth out of the 30 nuns.

But Dan reverently describes his portion of the investigation as putting together a giant puzzle with no corner pieces or picture for reference, and once you find that one important piece, the whole thing clicks together. (Show of hands if you've been doing lots of puzzles during lockdown and this metaphor worked unexpectedly well for you in 2020…)

Anyway, Dan's work pays off when they find that Victoria received tons of calls from pop star Destiny Page, who was upset when the nuns refused to sell her their convent.

Amenadiel's a secret Destiny Page fan — "please don't tell Lucifer," he begs Chloe — and confirms that her recent albums are all about her newfound faith.

Chloe then overhears Lucifer ask if Amenadiel feels guilty for being the one who "laid a blessing" on Chloe's parents, and she hauls them both into interrogation.

First, is Amenadiel her actual father? That gets a swift no.

Second, does she have any cool powers like laser beam hands? Again, no, she's just the perfect Mrs. Morningstar. "I'm not even a person. I'm just a thing, created for someone else."

So, uh, things aren't going well there, although Amenadiel does apologize for not having Chloe's sense of curiosity. If he'd asked a few more questions when he was God's right hand, perhaps he'd have the answers she's looking for.

With that, they're off to interview Destiny, but bodyguard Hank stops Chloe from interrupting Destiny's prayer time. Amenadiel appears in Destiny's dressing room under the assumption that a woman of faith will be drawn to talk to him. Instead, she shrieks for help.

Yep, her faith is all an act, and Victoria was her assistant, sent in to gather intel to help her purchase the property. But Victoria fell in love with the life and planned to join for real.

As for her alibi, Destiny says she's newly sober and received her one-month chip the night of the murder. She can't prove it, though, because she was dressed in disguise for AA and went to goat yoga afterward, where the chip fell out of her pocket and got eaten by a goat. (Based on what I know of goats, this all tracks.)

Guess who ends up going through goat poop? Dan, of course! Lucifer spends his time canvassing the attractive yoga witnesses, and he makes Dan proud by actually reading the transcripts Chloe sent over. Because of that work, he was able to recognize a description of Destiny's disguise.

He noticed an engagement ring on a chain around one witnesses' neck, which is the missing piece they need: the bruising on Victoria's neck could've come from a ring, as if she were hiding an engagement as a novitiate. So who's the murderous fiancé?

They get an answer when Sister Francine shows up to talk to Amenadiel and plants a kiss on him. She's thoroughly confused about what she's feeling, and Amenadiel eventually pieces together that he reflects her own love of God back at her. (Weird that he hasn't noticed this before with other people of faith whom he's surely encountered on earth, but eh, let's push forward.)

Alongside that revelation, Francine says Victoria found a secret room in the convent, so Chloe and Amenadiel head off to investigate and are confronted by bodyguard Hank, Victoria's secret fiancé.

He was disgusted that Victoria would choose this "made-up nonsense" over marrying him, and their argument culminated in her murder. Then Amenadiel has one of his most badass moments of the entire series by stepping in front of Chloe to protect her from the bullets Hank unloads in her direction.

He then unfurls his wings to show Hank just how real Victoria's faith was and delivers a powerful angel clap that knocks Hank unconscious. In the end, Amenadiel was happy to break his "no letting on that you're an angel" rule because Hank sucked and deserved the comeuppance.

More important, he figured some things out: If he reflects people's faith back to them, then perhaps Lucifer reflects people's greatest desires. Chloe says she's never seen her desire in Lucifer, which means that she isn't the gift. The gift is that she's the one mortal who sees Lucifer for who he truly is. By that logic, everything they shared is real.

She heads straight to the penthouse to tell Lucifer and offer Amenadiel's second revelation: Lucifer chooses to be vulnerable around her. She sits next to him on the piano bench and declares that if so, she chooses to be vulnerable around him too.

They kiss, and it's tentative and lovely, and then it's deeper and passionate, and the camera lifts up to show their embrace reflected in the ceiling.

Is it… is it happening? Is it finally happening?

Stray feathers

Unconventional pairings really paid off this week, huh?
I loved the use of "Personal Jesus" as Chloe walks into the convent almost as much as I loved Lucifer's hilariously irreverent sign of the cross when Sister Angelica's being released. But nothing compares to Lucifer and Dan exploding it out when their grunt work pays off. Bracelet bros!
Lucifer's guesses for an unexpected voice to hear in hell: Mother Teresa, Mr. Rogers, and Adele. That tracks.
Y'all, what are you waiting for? Get to the next episode already!

Episode 6: "BluBallz"

Wellness check: How's everybody doing okay after this MEGA EPIC EPISODE? Because I had to pace around in a circle for a bit before I could settle down and recap for you fine people.

I'm fine now, mostly. Let's do this.

This episode's murder victim is DJ Matt Pexxa, whose sabotaged headphones electrocuted him in the middle of a rave. When Chloe and Lucifer arrive at the crime scene, they're brushing fingers and sharing looks that are positively scorching.

Ella notices the new vibe immediately, and Chloe confesses that Ella's call interrupted kissing, but she'd prefer not to make a big thing about her sex life at work. And although Lucifer's eager to get back down to bedroom business, Chloe insists they stick around to interview the 500 hundred drunk, high witnesses.

As she leaves the scene, Ella bumps into cute, dorky reporter Pete Daily (Alex Koch), who's new on the job and immediately asks her out. But she turns him down because her type is bad boys, not earnest nerds, as this season has repeatedly reminded us.

Speaking of boys, Chloe's got complications when she realizes that mega-popular DJ Karnal was also playing the rave. She knows Karnal better as Jed, her first love. (He's played by Justin Bruening, and I'm not sure what the Venn diagram of Sweet Magnolias and Lucifer viewers looks like, but I'm hoping others out there giggled as much as I did to see Cal in this setting.)

Jed is thrilled to see her, calls her Cherry Jane, and asks if she's in a relationship. Chloe says no, right in front of Lucifer. COME ON, CHLOE. You can just say, "I'm at the beginning of something promising"? I mean, you have to know that Lucifer's going to spin out about this! Even assuming she was rattled by Jed's sudden appearance and didn't want to talk about dating at work, it's a puzzling response.

But okay, it happened, and it left Lucifer hurt and outraged and ready to prove that Jed's the killer. After all, those were his headphones Pexxa borrowed. Chloe goes in the other direction and wonders if Jed's the actual target.

One suspect is the man protesting that Jed's foundation is building low-income housing at the marina where Jed's studio's located. (That would be the Cherry Jane Foundation, and Chloe declines to explain the origin of her nickname to Lucifer.)

Chloe swiftly determines that the protester isn't the culprit, but the man does tell them that a woman broke into Jed's studio recently. Moments later, the studio explodes, knocking Chloe and Lucifer to the ground. He immediately checks to be sure she's all right, but they again disagree over whether Jed's the target or staging this to get Chloe's attention.

When Chloe argues that nobody would go to those lengths to woo her, Lucifer points out, "I did go to hell and back for you twice, but who's counting?" Ugh, jealous Lucifer is just too delicious!

Dan's also having a hard time with Jed's reappearance. He was Chloe's last boyfriend before they got together, and Dan worries she never got over "his stupid chiseled face." He tells Amenadiel he'll never be able to live down all the bad things he's done in his life, but Amenadiel firmly says that he knows evil, and Dan isn't that. I LOVE THIS FRIENDSHIP, Y'ALL.

Back on the case, Chloe found the woman who broke into Jed's studio. She makes recordings of animals having sex and had planted recording devices to bust Jed for sampling her otter-sex sounds without paying her.

So Ella's off to review the audio while Chloe combs through the DJ Karnal message boards searching for any dangerous fans. Then Maze rolls in dressed in Ella's quirky-girl clothes, channeling her innate niceness. See, Dr. Linda recommended that Maze try to be more emotionally available to avoid dying alone like her mother, so she's trying it out. It's… weird.

When Chloe finds a possibly obsessed fan online and Ella discovers the sound of a dying hearing aid battery on the audio surveillance of Jed's studio, the women decide to stage a fake DJ Karnal rave at Lux to see if any fans turn up in hearing aids.

Lucifer's not involved in the plans because Chloe's not seeing him that night. Ella wrongly assumes she's avoiding him out of fear of STDs or not measuring up sexually to his thousands of past lovers, but Chloe nervously admits it's because Lucifer's ghosting her.

And why would he do that? Jed, of course! Lucifer took Chloe's ex to his penthouse for safekeeping (and to keep him away from Chloe) and desire-whammies him into confessing that he wishes he hadn't caused Chloe to dump him.

Now Lucifer wants to know everything Jed did wrong so he can steer clear, and Jed starts giving absolutely terrible advice. He says that once their unresolved sexual tension resolved itself, there was no mystery for Chloe to solve, and she lost interest.

Lucifer vows not to wear his heart on his sleeve anymore, which PLEASE DON'T DO THIS, LUCIFER. Sadly, he doesn't listen to me and starts screening Chloe's calls in order to be mysterious. UGHHHH.

Then Lucifer and Jed arrive to help Amenadiel and Dan try to soothe a screaming Charlie, and they're both surprised to hear of the sting at Lux. Also, Dan gets to gloat about having a baby with the woman that three of them are/were in love with, and honestly, good for him.

At Lux, the rave is in full swing, and Chloe, Ella, Maze, and Linda all split up and talk to every woman there, looking for a telltale hearing aid.

Maze is forcing herself to be nice to a dull-as-dirt raver name Karen, but when she spots Ella making out with some random bald-headed tough guy, Maze pulls her away.

Ella calls herself a magnet for losers, and Maze says if that's what Ella thinks that's what she deserves, maybe Ella shouldn't be Maze's model for how to be a good person.

Elsewhere, Chloe and Linda have an amazing conversation about the Lucifer sexual experience. (His penis is non-forked, well above average, and generally perfect.) But also, Linda warns, he's unfathomably narcissist, terrified of intimacy, and the most immature person in the universe, so sex will probably be the least of their problems.

Chloe tries calling Lucifer again, but he's tossed his phone out the window to preserve the mystery. At this point, Dan tells Lucifer that this is terrible advice (I never thought I'd say this, but thank God for Dan!), and they both realize that Jed's disappeared, presumably to head to the rave.

Dan steps out to look for him, and Lucifer's so enraged that he goes full devil face. Weirdly, that stops Charlie from crying. Amenadiel begs Uncle Lucifer to do it again. He complies, and Charlie loves it, so he sticks around to help out his brother and his nephew.

By now, Jed's hit the stage to dedicate a song to Cherry Jane, and this causes superfan Karen to make a beeline for him. Maze tackles her, but it turns out to be Karen's estranged hearing-aid-wearing husband who's wielding a gun.

Yep, Jed slept with Karen (he didn't know she was married!), and her husband went off the deep end, particularly after his friends gave him a hard time for letting Karen walk all over him.

Chloe draws her gun and tells the husband that he should talk it out with Karen to explain how frustrating yet incredible Lucifer — er, Karen is.

After the man's hauled off, Jed acknowledges that he and Chloe are over and encourages her to work it out with Lucifer. Good guy, Jed! I hope he finds his Cherry Jody or a Cherry Joanna someday.

Meanwhile, Ella bumps into Pete, and, thinking about Maze's words, asks him out. He stammers an excited yes. (Awww! But also, my dude, don't date someone who's likely to be a consistent source on your beat!) Then Ella tells Maze that she doesn't need to be nice because she's a good kind of scary. Lean into that, and she'll find her soulmate.

Wrong thing to say, Ella! Maze snaps that you can't find a soulmate if you don't have a soul.

Back at three men and a baby, Charlie's asleep, and Lucifer's getting relationship advice from Amenadiel and Dan, who suggests he quit asking people for advice and just go to talk to Chloe already.

Then Dan heads out, but he gets a call from Lucifer asking him to come right back. He turns around and spots Lucifer rocking baby Charlie in full devil face with Amenadiel right next to him.

He speeds away in a panic, and we see that it was Michael, sporting a wicked scar, who called him back. YES, GIMME THAT ANGST OVER LUCIFER'S SECRET!

Okay, brace yourselves, Deckerstar fans. Chloe arrives at the penthouse, and she and Lucifer both apologize. (Chloe hair check: down and flowy.) She tells Lucifer that they're incredible, and for a long, fraught moment it looks like they'll go their separate ways for the night.

Instead, they fall into each other's arms, and Chloe silences her phone when it rings. She silences her phone! You know what that means?

Yep. It's on. They're kissing against a wall, they're unbuttoning Lucifer's shirt, they're slowing down to look at each other — really look at each other, silently checking in about what this means for him, for her, for them. And then Lucifer takes Chloe's hand and leads her to his bedroom.

"Incredible," Lucifer rasps, and the parting shot is of their bodies moving together in the dimness as Chloe gasps his name.

Stray feathers

AAAAAAHHHH
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAHHHH
*dead*

Episode 7: "Our Mojo"

"I was so ready to have my Deckerstar dreams crushed again."

Yep, Ella is all of us, cheering for our star-crossed couple as they face down challenges big and small in the penultimate episode of this half of the season.

At first their morning-after talk is sweet and giggly and genuinely intimate. Then Chloe jokingly asks what Lucifer truly desires, and he's compelled to tell her he'd like to have sex with her another four times. No, six.

She assumes he's messing with her, but he isn't, and it's a major problem for him. He heads straight to Linda's, breezing right past the sex-having to fret about losing his power. If Chloe can do what he used to do, what does he bring to the relationship?

Ella's also thrilled to learn that Chloe and Lucifer finally consummated their relationship, and then she rushes to add how happy she is with Pete, who turns out to be not so nice when it counts, ifyouknowwhatimean.

Now to the murder of the episode, which turns out to be the work of a serial killer who paralyzes his victims, straps them to a chair, shoves lilies into their arms, and severs their vocal cords.

Chloe (hair check: sleek with partially controlled bangs, a happy medium!) tries out her new mojo powers on the first few suspects before she concludes that while Lucifer isn't able to whammy anyone anymore, Chloe's powers only work on him.

She rather blithely blows off how upset he is about losing that mojo and encourages him to just enjoy their new relationship. Sure, but like… that's his superpower, and he's an egomaniac! Of course he's rattled!

She finally realizes that she needs to make him feel included in the investigation and does that by talking up his charm, his connections, his capacity with languages, even calling him her personal Swiss Army knife.

When he refers to it as "our" mojo, Chloe's touched, but he still tries to have sex with her to see if it'll transfer the power back. She takes a pass, as she's not into sex with an agenda.

Next he suggests couples therapy, which Chloe thinks is a touch soon, but she agrees. Dr. Linda actually sides with Lucifer on the emotional grounds that sex with someone you care about requires giving up power. She asks how Chloe would feel if someone gave her gun and badge to Lucifer and chipped away at her identity and suggests Chloe look for the root of Lucifer's concern here. As always, stellar advice from the good doctor!

Dan could probably use a little of that, to be honest. He was deeply shaken at seeing Lucifer's devil face the night before and falls sobbing at Charlotte's grave as he processes what it all means.

He assumes that she's in heaven, he's bound for hell, and Chloe and Trixie's souls are in danger. As he begs for help, Michael appears with his wings out and white robes on, offering Dan redemption in exchange for one little errand. None of us likes the sound of that, yeah?

Back at the precinct, the show has shifted into fairly standard crime procedural tracking-a-serial-killer territory. They find crimes with similar MOs in Phoenix and San Antonio and curse the linkage blindness that makes it hard to track these things. Lucifer turns profiler and suggests that slashing their vocal cords is about taking away their power, not their voice. You know, it's the standard "We must stop him before he kills again!" playbook.

Ella was beating herself up for missing clues, but a pep talk from Pete has her focused on what she can do right from here on out. Lucifer, who was already baffled at how excited Ella was to speak Klingon with Pete and head to a Star Trek convention with him, quietly observes this display of support and sharing.

When they identify the flower shop that sold lilies to a Les Klumpsky, they're able to track his Uber to an apartment where the hallway's straight out of The Shining, complete with a kid on a trike.

Lucifer finally tells Chloe to knock off the excessive flattery and kicks down the suspect's door as soon as the warrant comes through. Ugh, why are serial killer apartments always investigated in the dark? Flip on a light switch already!

They find banana-pants amounts of printed photos of his next victim and a receipt for flowers purchased a few hours ago, which means his next murder is imminent. Chloe summons Ella from her convention, and she and Pete arrive in Starfleet uniforms and Vulcan ears to help search the place for clues.

Flashlights everywhere! Seriously, if this guy could be off killing right now, wouldn't it speed things up to TURN ON A DANG LIGHT?

Ella finds a darkroom full of hanging photo negative strips, which is insanely creepy. She and Pete start looking through them and find a shot of the next victim standing in front of a door surrounded by the distinctive wallpaper and carpet of the very apartment building they're currently in. All they can see is the number 9 on the door, so they race to the ninth floor and start knocking.

When Lucifer steps into a unit with the door ajar, the killer injects him with a paralytic. Lucifer grabs him by the neck and growls, "How does it feel to be powerless?" But the drug eventually drops him, and the serial killer does that thing where he calmly explains his evil motivations while the helpless victim listens. Blah blah those women were all strong, blah blah they have to listen now. You know, just serial killer stuff.

When Chloe enters the apartment, she finds Lucifer propped against the wall unable to speak or move, and for some reason she doesn't immediately turn around to find the person who did that. Instead, he has to signal her with his eyes to look behind her.

Thankfully, she's able to fight Klumpsky off and shoot him in the shoulder. After he's arrested, his malevolent gaze lingers as the elevator doors close on him and the cadre of police escorting him out. It's unsettling.

Pete laments that he'll be covering this whole series of events for his news outlet, and his editor's clamoring for him to call Klumpsky the Whisper Killer (because, you know, you can still whisper if your vocal cords are cut).

Ella encourages him to write the story he wants to write, and while they make a delightfully supportive team, I do hope he's going to be fully transparent about his involvement with the case. Best practices are typically not to have a journalist report on a crime he helped solve, ya know?

Anyway, Pete and Lucifer then engage in a little guy talk as Pete admits he was terrified that he's not good enough for Ella until he realized that in the end, the choice is up to her. It gives Lucifer something to chew over.

At the end of the day, Lucifer finds Chloe going over the Klumpsky case photos at the penthouse. She's got the nagging sense that she's missing something, and she'd also like to make this daily wind-down a part of their routine.

Lucifer's into it, particularly when he coaxes her out to the balcony for a drink. There she's finally able to empathize about how hard it would be for Lucifer to feel powerless and vulnerable.

She also suggests that if she can use the mojo on him, that might mean he's starting to drop his guard around her. He quite likes the sound of that, and things are moving in a romantic direction again when a distraught Dan steps off the elevator brandishing a gun.

He tells Chloe that he has no choice and fires. Lucifer falls to the ground, and this is the second episode in the row that ends with Chloe gasping his name — but for a very different reason this time.

Stray feathers

Oh, Dan. He's been lost since he lost Charlotte, but this newest turn happened quickly. I'd love to have seen a little more simmer on his anguish here, but brisk storytelling demands efficiency. And just when I was coming around on him, too!
Maze does a little more growing this episode when she tries to break Amenadiel out of his daddy-duty rut by fighting and f…rench kissing. But she's frustrated to realize it doesn't do a thing to soothe her own angst over what she's missing. Good guy Amenadiel assures her that whatever it is she needs, she's be able to find it. Then he returns home to Linda, happy to be Charlie's dad but already dreading the time when the little tyke doesn't need him anymore. Wow, do I love the work this show's doing with all of these supporting characters this season!
For a hot second, I legitimately thought Pete was the murderer, or at least a murderer. He was just so squirrelly in that dark room! That said, I love this relationship for Ella (assuming he's, you know, murder-free).

Who's thinking Chloe really did miss something about the Whisper Killer (sorry, Pete!) case? I'm telling you, something about that guy's parting stare said he wasn't done with Chloe & Co. yet.

Episode 8: "Spoiler Alert"

Oh my God!

No, seriously, that's God in that cuddly cardigan, and he's perfect! Lots of drama before we get there, though, so let's dive into the final episode of the first half of season 5.

Lucifer shakes off Dan's bullet without a hitch because he's suddenly invulnerable around Chloe. (Great misdirect with the Carpenters' "The End of the World," though!)

Dan can't believe that Chloe knew about Lucifer and he's suddenly the bad guy for trying to save the world from the Devil. He hightails it out of the penthouse, leaving Chloe worried about… well, everything, really.

Ella's worried too. Pete gave her a key to his apartment, and she frets to Chloe that it's all too soon. But Chloe has to stop Lucifer from putting a revenge snake — non-poisonous, if that matters — into Dan's drawer, so she just tells Ella to go with it.

Rather than allow Lucifer to goad Dan anymore, she takes him with her to interview Les Klumpsky, who complains about the Whisper Killer moniker: "That doesn't even make sense. I don't kill whispers."

While Lucifer tries to get tips from the serial killer to mess with Dan, Chloe attempts to trick him into admitting that he didn't commit the three murders that didn't happen in his apartment building.

Afterward, she and Lucifer split up to pursue different tasks. She has an intense dark-web session, while Lucifer throws himself into elaborate Dan revenge plotting. When Lucifer finally surfaces, he finds a distressing voicemail from Chloe.

She tells him she has a lead on who really committed the other three murders and starts to give him info on an Arts District address, but she's cut off by the sounds of a struggle. He flies straight to her place and kicks down the door, but she's gone.

Lucifer and Ella are both distraught (and both agree that it's kind of his fault for getting distracted by Dan revenge) but they immediately team up to find her.

At Chloe's they find an address that takes them to Scotty Thomas, who's assembled a nerd squad to help design a VR game where you play as a serial killer. Chloe found him on a site for murder aficionados, and she was supposed to meet him to see transcripts of DMs with Klumpsky.

Ella scans them and notices lots of references to LilyMan85. Chillingly, all his posts on the murder site are firsthand accounts of Whisper Killer murders with non-public details. Klumpsky's a copycat, and LilyMan85 is still out there. So, uh, that's not good.

At this point, Lucifer reaches out to Maze, but she's not talking to him because he kept the truth of her mother from her. Amenadiel points out that Lucifer has no idea that Maze is freezing him out and suggests she pick up. She does, and her anger disappears when Lucifer explains that Chloe's missing.

She materializes into Klumpsky's cell — he's thinking he prefers the Voice Box Killer — and prepares to torture some information out of him.

Meanwhile, Scotty's nerd squad traced IP addresses and found an address for LilyMan85. Lucifer kicks the door down, and inside they find a woman's body in a chair. Both Lucifer and Ella assume the worst, and then are relieved it's not Chloe. RIP to that other woman, though.

As they leave, Pete turns up to cover the newest murder, worried that that Ella might think he's using her for access. She kisses him and assures him that it's all good. Then he offers her a box of Whisper Killer research that's at his apartment. FOR REAL IS HE THE KILLER?

Desperate, Lucifer turns to Amenadiel and begs him to slow time, but he can't anymore. Also, he's at the pediatrician's with Charlie, who's caught a standard cold, so it's not the best time. He does assure Lucifer that he learned from Chloe and can use his Detective Morningstar skills to find her.

After Lucifer leaves, Michael turns up to whisper into Amenadiel's ear about what Charlie catching a cold actually means. It's not good, but let's just tuck that away for now.

This energizes Lucifer to find LilyMan85. Maze tortured Klumpsky into telling her that LilyMan85 hunted for "windbag" women in restaurants. Lucifer had cross-referenced victim credit card statements (thanks for the lesson, Dan!) and suddenly has new leads.

He and Maze head off to review security footage (um, are no actual detectives working this case?) and Lucifer's delighted to find that his desire mojo is back when he has to coerce a guard into helping them.

Maze takes the opportunity to ask if she could ever get a soul. After all, the Devil fell in love and Amenadiel had a half-human baby. Lucifer dismissively says that they're angels, and Maze is just a demon. Wrong answer, pally! She's already angrily eyeballing her mother's ring on his finger, and now this? I know he's out of his mind with worry about Chloe, but this is not good.

And here's where we discover that Pete has committed way more crimes than the ones against journalism. Ella lets herself into his house and accidentally finds a hidden room that's full of lilies and paralyzing agent. OH GEEZ I DIDN'T ACTUALLY THINK I'D BE RIGHT! Pete, we were rooting for you! We were all rooting for you!

She hastily puts everything back into place and turns around to find him in the living room. At first he buys that nothing's wrong, but when he realizes she's found his secret room, he starts to strangle her.

She fights valiantly and manages to stab him with the hypodermic needle of paralyzing agent, and he collapses. At the precinct, she demands answers about Chloe's whereabouts. Okay, seriously, are Chloe and Dan the only two detectives in this precinct? Because somebody else should really be handling this interrogation.

He tells Ella that his mother screamed at him and only cared about her lily garden, which explains his M.O. Ella forces herself to ask if he was planning to kill her too.

This terribly scary man who wears a terribly affable face tells her that he tried to do everything you're supposed to do — dinners, the Star Trek convention, the key to his apartment — but the only time he feels anything is when his victims are choking on their own blood. *full-body Jerry Seinfeld shudder*

Then he tries the old "we're not so different, you and I" routine and brings up Ella's darkness, which… eye-roll, Pete. Also, he swears he didn't take Chloe.

Lucifer's enraged that they've been looking for the wrong person this whole time, and Maze suggests they start asking if someone took Chloe to hurt Lucifer.

Yep, that points to Michael. He's got Chloe in a sort-of cave jail, and he's gloating about his epic plans that he won't reveal.

He also sniffs out her fear over Lucifer's newfound invulnerability and asks if Lucifer's ever said "I love you" back to her. He scores a direct hit with all that, for sure.

Meanwhile, Maze finds Dan, who confirms that Michael put him up to shooting Lucifer and took him to that weird cave jail for their chat.

His description leads them to an abandoned zoo, where Lucifer, Maze, and Dan rescue Chloe. When she kisses Lucifer, even Dan can see how much he cares for her. Maze, meanwhile, burns with fury that Lucifer is with his soulmate.

That's her frame of mind when Michael approaches her and tells her he's the only one who's been honest with her.

At the precinct, Chloe thanks her co-workers for never giving up on finding her. But did they… do anything? Our heroes seemed to be the only ones working the case.

At this point, Amenadiel and Linda show up to talk with Lucifer about Charlie, but he blows them off to get Chloe alone.

She congratulates him on catching a serial killer, and he brags that his mojo's back. But that just adds to her fear that he's subconsciously pushing her away and choosing not to be vulnerable. Lucifer blames her fears on Michael's influence, but she wants to know why he hasn't told her he loves her.

It's complicated, he says. He calls her Chloe and starts to say "I lo—" when suddenly time freezes.

Looks like Lucifer's not the only one with his mojo back. Amenadiel stopped time to prove the fear Michael stoked in him: Charlie's frozen along with the rest of the mortals, which means he'll get sick, grow old, and die.

Suddenly Michael's at the precinct too, and Amenadiel ends up with a literal devil on one shoulder and a literal angel on the other, one stoking his fears for his son and the other advocating calm. Hint: It's not the devil who's trying to get Amenadiel to explode.

Then Maze arrives to stand with Michael, who promised her a soul. She kicks Lucifer through a glass wall, and the shattered glass freezes too, in a very cool special effect.

From there, the epic brawl is on. Maze confronts Lucifer with the truth about her mother and wants to know why his promise to keep Lilith's secret was more important than his relationship with her. (Fair point, honestly.) Meanwhile, Amenadiel accuses Michael of purposely giving Charlie a cold. For real, what a monster.

The fight is vicious and rages through the precinct, and just as all three angels unfurl their wings and really prepare for battle, a voice booms, "That's enough!"

It's God (Dennis Haysbert, perhaps the best possible casting choice). He appears in a haze of bright light, sporting a salt-and-pepper beard, and says calmly, "Children, I hate it when you fight."

And that's all she wrote on the first half of season 5, Lucifans!

Stray feathers

Well, those episodes flew by, didn't they? And look how much ground we covered! Deckerstar lives, Maze joined the dark side, Amenadiel's stopping time again, and Ella's going to need a ton of therapy. (Maybe she should stick to the bad boys after all.)
Gotta give it up for the casting and PR departments for not letting Pete's true story leak. I fully bought into the reporting that she'd meet a geeky dream guy. The trailers may have given away the Michael twist, but this one stayed hidden until the episodes were actually underway, so kudos.
Netflix hasn't told us when the final eight episodes of the season will air, and unfortunately the show didn't quite finish shooting the finale before the coronavirus lockdown occurred. At least this first batch of episodes gave us plenty to chew on as we wait!
In the meantime, hit the comments and let us know what you thought about the first half of season 5. Was the Deckerstar payoff sweet enough for you? Can Maze find redemption? What about Dan? How great was it to finally meet Dad? And finally and most importantly, Chloe: bangs or no bangs?

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