Jaime Waydo

That is what my youngest said to me this morning. Wow. I started feeling all the feels with that one.

I’ve spent the last two years digging deep and developing a healthy relationship with Anger. I was raised in a house and community where we didn’t get Angry. Now, that is obviously false. Everyone gets angry. But showing anger, was not ok. So, I got good at bottling it all up inside. I had years and years of anger stored up. Sounds gross right? It felt gross.

Two years ago I hit a low point health wise. I was overweight, exhausted, and becoming more and more of an introvert. Something had to change. I went to a week long workshop that is advertised to “change your relationship with the voice in your head to one of self-love.”. In that workshop we spent time learning how to move Anger and use it for the gift it can be.

Imagine being handed a tennis racket and being told, “here are some gloves. You might get blisters. Do you want ear plugs?” What the heck did I just get myself in to??? The job was to take the tennis racket and beat a cushion and yell and just be angry. It was the most uncomfortable thing I’ve done in a really long time. It was the start of me having a much healthier relationship with Anger.

I have learned to love it when Anger shows up. It is the pointer that I’m not getting my needs met. That there is a boundary missing. That something is wrong that needs to get fixed right away. I no longer just swallow it and hold it deep inside. I use it as a signal and guide that something is wrong and needs to change. It has been such a huge transformation in my life.

So fast forward to this morning, when youngest Waydo is angry b/c I’m teasing him. He starts by getting mad at me. That is not ok in our house. He catches himself, and without any correction says, “mom, may I draw a boundary?” My heart sings. He sees the anger as a signal. And he draws a beautiful boundary. One I totally understand and respect. When he was done, he made me even happier. He said, “I need to go yell in to a pillow. I’m still angry.” Yes! Yes, my son. That is how we do anger in this house.