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From Grindr to Scruff: The best dating apps for gay, bi, and queer men

Here's where to find "the one" — or a one-night stand.
By Miller Kern , Tabitha Britt , and Stacia Datskovska  on 
Editors and writers independently select products unless marked Sponsored or Promoted. Sponsored content is a paid ad, while content marked Promoted is chosen by Ziff Davis leadership. We may earn an affiliate commission if you buy through our links. Promoted cards do not include input from individual authors.

Overview

Best gay dating app

Grindr

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Best Grindr alternative

Scruff

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PROMOTED
For those looking for sex

AdultFriendFinder

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Best for serious relationships

Archer

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Best site for cruising

Sniffies

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Best gay dating app for men of color

Jack'd

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Best dating app for bears

GROWLR

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Best dating app for liberals

OkCupid

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Most popular dating app

Tinder

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See 4 More

Table of Contents

Online dating has its share of horror stories. It's also a rite of passage dating back to the Craigslist m4m era. It's a high risk, high reward activity.

But if you're a member of the LGBTQ+ community, the horror stories look a little different. For gay men, online dating can present a unique set of challenges which can sour the experience. Ghosting and catfishing are still common, but you might also find people asking unnecessary questions about your past, straight guys who shouldn't be in your feed, and even some not-so-subtle fetishization. Not exactly the butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling we're all after, right?

Yet, despite the BS, the best gay dating apps have helped millions of men make meaningful connections.

According to the Pew Research Center, about one-quarter of LGBTQ+ adults say they met their match through online dating. The problem? Not all dating apps are created equal, especially for the LGBTQ+ community.

What is the best gay dating app right now?

We can't talk about the gay dating scene in the 21st century without talking about Grindr, the undisputed king of gay dating mobile apps. However, there are a lot of other options, especially if you want to foster real connections.

"Grindr is a tried and true app that many queer men gravitate toward to find partners or for relationships that require lesser commitment, so it’s easy to point to it as the #1 app," Michelle Herzog, LMFT, AASECT-certified sex therapist, tells Mashable. "However, like Tinder, it’s gained a reputation as a hookup app — but that doesn’t mean there still aren’t men looking for long-term commitments, either."

Other popular dating apps have a lot to offer, and that's where you'll find the most queer users. Keeping Tinder on the back burner isn't just a straight people thing (especially for guys in less-populated areas where apps like Scruff offer slim pickings). Plus, mainstream apps deserve credit for trying to create a more inclusive atmosphere. OkCupid gets kudos for embracing change and making inclusivity a core part of its compatibility scoring. You can also try niche gay dating sites if you tend to like a certain type of man, but in general, the more popular apps offer the greatest chance of success — it's a numbers game.

Whether you're looking for something serious, a hookup, something that stays strictly online, or an altogether different definition of connection, there's an ideal queer dating app out there for you. So, here's a breakdown of the best dating apps for gay men to help you find your perfect match.

Our Pick
A drawn hand holding a phone with the Grindr logo

Grindr

Best gay dating app

Who it's for:

Grindr isn't just a popular gay dating app for hookups and casual encounters. It's the king of gay dating apps, and it's become a big part of modern gay culture. It's mostly for gay men who are looking to get laid now, and it has a massive user base.

Although bi, trans, and queer people are welcome on the app, the majority of users are gay men.

Why we picked this:

Grindr is the gay dating app for men, but the company also advocates for the LGBTQ+ community as a whole. Grindr has conducted some pretty illuminating research about its international users: Leading to The Grindr for Equality campaign, which advocates for the sexual health and safety of LGBTQ+ people in unsafe countries. Props for that.

That’s not the only thing the app’s doing to help protect its users, though. During the Olympics (both in Beijing in 2022 and this year’s games in Paris), the app turned off certain location-based features to make it a safer space for LGBTQ+ athletes, particularly those who live in countries where their identity could put them at risk.

In terms of usability, Grindr isn't swipe-based like some other hookup apps. Instead of swiping, you'll see a collage of people who are close to your location. As soon as you hop on the app, you'll see tons of men waiting to talk — for starters.

Do note that Grindr lacks the boundaries other apps provide — most users are just looking to hook up, and they will let you know they're not in it for small talk. (That warning may come in the form of a dick pic and not in as many words.) Some of the app's users have a reputation of not being so welcoming to bisexual users, and it isn't exactly known for being free from racism, either.

That's not to say you can't find a lasting relationship on Grindr — a lot of men do meet their forever person on Grindr — but on the surface, it's a tool for a quick, casual hookup. FWIW, men in small towns with a meager queer population are more likely to find a connection here than on Tinder or OkCupid.

The Good

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Details

A drawn hand holding a phone with the scruff logo

Scruff

Best Grindr alternative

Who it's for:

Despite its name, Scruff isn't just for scruffy men. There are plenty of gay guys here, from clean-cut jocks to those with a more rugged look. Whether you're into bears, twinks, otters, or any other type of guy, Scruff has a diverse user base that's large enough to rival Grindr's.

The only difference? Scruff is a little more serious in terms of what people are looking for. Sure, it's good for hookups, but you probably won't get the same level of raunchiness (or as much) as you would on Grindr.

Why we picked this:

Grindr may be the most well-known and widely used dating app for gay men, but Scruff is a great alternative for those looking for something a little more serious.

Unlike Grindr (or Sniffies), you probably won't get NSFW DMs right off the bat. Though it's possible, this app has a rep for attracting users who might want to take things to the next level — like going on a date and seeing where things lead.

There are tons of premium features with a paid membership (which starts at $16.99 per month), like the ability to un-send messages, unlimited looks, and access to advanced search features.

Scruff isn't just for dating, either. You can find local LGBTQ+ events, parties, and gatherings on Scruff. (Thanks to its geolocation feature, it's also pretty good for finding a hookup while traveling.)

The Good

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A drawn hand holding a phone with the AdultFriendFinder logo
PROMOTED

AdultFriendFinder

For those looking for sex

The Good

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Details

A drawn hand holding a phone with the archer logo

Archer

Best for serious relationships

Who it's for:

Archer is a free dating app for gay, bisexual, and queer men. Owned by Match Group, Archer is a "social-first" dating app that prioritizes building meaningful connections through shared interests and values. It's the relationship-focused alternative to hookup-centric apps like Grindr.

It's the best dating app option for bisexual and queer men who are looking for more than just casual encounters and offers a safer space to explore their sexuality and talk about HIV status. (But don't just take our word for it; Brooklyn's resident bi-man and author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto, Zachary Zane, recommends giving Archer a try for its inclusive and relationship-oriented approach.)

Why we picked this:

Even though Archer is a newer app, it's already gaining a reputation as one of the best gay dating apps for queer men looking for serious relationships. According to estimates from market intelligence firm Sensor Tower, as of May 3, 2024, it's garnered more than 685,000 downloads. Unlike its NSFW competitor Grindr, Archer focuses on creating an inclusive and respectful space for gay, bisexual, and queer men to connect on a deeper level.

If you're looking for a hookup, you can toggle from "Dating Mode" to "Hookup Mode." According to company stats, nearly 66 percent of its users are looking for dates and relationships, while 74 percent are interested in community and friendship.

It's totally free to download and use, so you'll never be bothered with annoying subscription fees or limited features. With Archer, you can use a Smart-Blur filter to keep you from seeing raunchy content until you're ready, and there's a Selfie-Verify feature for added security and authenticity.

In addition to these features, Archer is working toward making STI, PrEP awareness, and sexual health education a priority within the app via the Health Hub.

The Good

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A drawn hand holding a phone with the sniffies logo

Sniffies

Best site for cruising

Who it's for:

Sniffies is a map-based meetup site for gay and bi cruisers who are looking to add a little fun to their day. This site isn't for finding a relationship; it's for men seeking men who are interested in casual encounters and spontaneous meetups.

Why we picked this:

Tinder and Grindr aren't the only ways to get laid in the gay community. And with this web-based hookup site, you don't even need to download an app to get some action. Even Zane has mentioned Sniffies in his risqué articles — it's a place where you're more likely to get messages like "Chilling. Here, just trying to get fisted" instead of vanilla DMs that beat around the bush.

Users are here for one reason and one reason only: casual, anonymous, hot, and raunchy encounters. In April, the company added "Cruiser Filters," which allow you to filter your search by age, endowment size, body type, sexuality, and even preferred sexual positions.

The site is totally free to use, but you can pay for premium features like unlimited messaging and advanced search options. Some safety features, like cruising spots, are also in place, so you don't have to meet up somewhere private with a stranger you don't know.

Those who use the site often can add a hosting status to their profile, which shows how active they are in the community. You can also message and video chat with other members directly on the site.

And, if you're feeling particularly ballsy, you can advertise your cruising status on the go with Sniffies' brand-new merch. The company calls it the "Cruising Club," and it includes cropped muscle tees, athletic shorts, and plaid boxers all branded with the Sniffies name.

The Good

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Jack'd dating app

Jack'd

Best gay dating app for men of color

Who it's for:

Jack’d isn’t as popular as Grindr, Sniffies, or Scruff, but it’s known for its diverse and inclusive community. If you’re a BIPOC, Jack’d might offer a safer, more welcoming space to find hookups or dates. (We know Grindr has had its share of issues with race-related discrimination.)

Why we picked this:

Jack’d may be on the smaller side, but its user base is predominantly made up of BIPOC. According to a Reddit thread, it’s the place to be if you’re “into black, Latino, and Asian dudes.”

You can download and use it for free, but the Pro subscription will get you unlimited private albums, the ability to unsend messages, no ads, and other perks. The free version does allow you to search users by hashtag (e.g., #daddy, #bottom, #bear, etc.), so that’s a nice feature.

There are fewer users on Jack'd compared to the bigger apps, so your experience will vary depending on where you live. If you’re in a big city, you'll likely find a decent pool of potential matches on Jack'd.

We think Reddit said it best: “Think of Jack'd as that one gay bar across town that's not in the main gay neighborhood and is open to everybody but preferred by people of color.”

The Good

The Bad

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A drawn hand holding a phone with the growlr logo

GROWLR

Best dating app for bears

Who it's for:

As the name implies, GROWLR is a gay dating app for bears and bear lovers. Although not as popular as Grindr or Scruff, GROWLR provides a niche platform for men interested in bear culture.

It also has more than 10 million users, so you're bound to find someone to roughhouse with or snuggle up to.

Why we picked this:

Most dating apps are superficial and focus on appearance, but GROWLR is for bears who appreciate a more rugged and traditionally masculine aesthetic. That's not to say you can't find other types of guys on GROWLR, but it definitely caters to a specific subset of the gay community.

GROWLR offers live streaming, a unique feature most dating apps don't offer (and you can use this feature for free). The app also has some paid features, like SHOUT!, which allows you to send customized messages to multiple users in one go. (The app also says you can promote your business via this feature, but that seems kind of cringe on a dating app.)

The only thing we'd like to mention is that the GROWLR interface is super dated, and thus not as user-friendly as the other apps on this list. But if you're looking for a community of hot, hairy men, GROWLR is definitely worth checking out.

The Good

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A drawn hand holding a phone with the okcupid logo

OkCupid

Best dating app for liberals

Read our full review of OkCupid.

Who it's for:

OkCupid's slogan is "Dating deserves better," and they're damn right — especially for the gays and the theys. Though it's open to gay and straight people, the veteran dating site has shed the heteronormativity that still somewhat plagues eharmony and Match. It's hip and well-informed while also maintaining a more intentional atmosphere than Grindr or Tinder.

Time and time again, OkCupid proves to be the blueprint for inclusivity in online dating. In 2014, OKC rolled out 22 gender and 13 orientation choices — years before such changes became a priority for competing sites. As of summer 2020, all users can choose their pronouns.

Why we picked this:

OkCupid didn't just get a facelift during its last redesign — our team actually had fun swiping on the revamped app. Plus, OkCupid's focus on social issues that matter to us (if you're left-leaning) is refreshing and practical.

OkCupid's filters let you find guys who share your views on everything from gun control to vaccines, so you can bypass awkward first-date debates. You can also search for same-sex matches and filter by specific interests, making it easier to find guys who share your interests and passions.

It's not all about the thirst traps here, either. OkCupid's profile features let you showcase your personality (not just your looks). Whether you're into gaming, activism, or obsessing over the latest drag queens, there's room to find your person or community on OKC.

The Good

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A drawn hand holding a phone with the Tinder logo

Tinder

Most popular dating app

Read our review of Tinder Platinum.

Who it's for:

Of the 75 million people who actively use Tinder each month, not all are straight dudes holding up fish. Queer and trans folks head to Tinder because its dating pool is colossal — almost as colossal as queer people's collective yearning for authentic connection (real).

Tinder pioneered the now-ubiquitous swiping function: Revolutionizing the world of online dating and boasting billions of swipes per day. You'll probably see your neighbor or even someone you work with on the app. (Awkward! Predictable!) However, if you've exhausted your chances with all of the queer people you know in real life, this is probably where you can find the highest number of gay locals — especially in smaller towns.

Why we picked this:

Despite all this, Tinder has made notable efforts to be more inclusive by partnering with GLAAD to personalize swiping (e.g., "show me, people of the same identity, first") and ensure it better meets the diverse needs of the trans community. With more than 40+ gender options, users can feel more confident swiping through potential matches. And, with the app's Relationship Goals feature, members can display a badge on their profile to let the world know what it is they're looking for. You can also use the Matchmaker feature to introduce friends who you think would hit it off (or vice versa).

In February, the company also released a new feature to stop inappropriate messages by sending in-app warnings to users who engage in offensive or disrespectful behavior. Those who receive multiple warnings may face consequences such as being kicked off the app. Since then, the app’s been adding other features here and there, like ID verification and a brand-new AI-powered “Photo Selector” that helps users choose profile pictures that are more likely to get matches.

The Good

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Details

Topics LGBTQ

How we tested

We regularly test dating platforms to deliver the most accurate, up-to-date reviews. After downloading the apps, we evaluate everything from sign-up to real-world user experience, even creating varying profiles (including blank ones) to assess quality control and bot activity.

We also prioritize diversity and inclusivity, paying close attention to LGBTQ+ representation. That's especially important when we're evaluating dating apps for queer women, men, and non-binary folks. Each app on this list with a linked review has been hands-on tested by Mashable staff writers or freelance writers with years of experience writing about sex and relationships.

Frequently Asked Questions


It depends on what you're looking for. Scruff tends to appeal to mature gay men who aren't just looking to hook up but are interested in developing genuine connections and relationships. On the other hand, Grindr is known for its larger user base and more casual hookup-oriented atmosphere.


We believe Sniffies is the best hookup site for gay men right now. Made for location-based cruising on a web browser, Sniffies lets you connect with other horny men seeking men in your area. The platform is also growing in popularity, and it's an exciting place to make new connections in 2024. Grindr and Tinder (both of which have desktop versions as well as apps) make solid runner-ups, though.


Lex used to be the place for raunchy personals, but since the company’s rebrand as a social app instead of a dating app, it’s become a popular platform for queer folks to connect and build friendships.


While there are now dating apps specifically for older users, our top recommendation for silver foxes probably won't surprise you: Yup, it's still Grindr. It offers a lot of features that make it the best option for older gay men, including location-based matching for convenience and a massive user base. That means you'll have better luck finding someone your age — or a younger guy that appreciates you.

While Grindr's an easy choice if you want to find someone right now, it has a high level of NSFW content. If that's a problem, you can try some of the others apps in our guide. The best app for each individual will vary according to preferences, so you may have to try a few of these apps before you find the best fit for you. And if you are a fan of NSFW content and old-school cruising, try Sniffies. For lasting connections, try Archer.


We didn't include Bumble in our list of the best dating apps for gay men, but gay guys can still use Bumble. Bumble says it's for everyone, and while the app is built around the idea of women making the first move, the app does allow same-gender matches, including for gay men. For same-sex and non-binary matches, either person can make the first move. 

woman with short blonde hair smilling
Miller Kern
Deputy Editor, Shopping and Reviews

Based in New York City, Miller Kern is the Deputy Editor, Shopping and Reviews at Mashable, where she writes and edits reviews, roundups, and deals about tech products including headphones, skincare devices, laptops, sex toys, e-readers, robot vacuums, and more. She has five years of experience writing buying guides, gift guides, and deals, and covering shopping holidays like Prime Day and Black Friday. Miller can tell you which products are actually worth your money. She also explores trends in the shopping sphere, such as dupes and viral TikTok moments.

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Tabitha Britt
Freelance Writer

Tabitha Britt is a freelance writer, editor, SEO & content strategist. Aside from writing for Mashable, Tabitha is also the founding editor-in-chief of DO YOU ENDO — a digital magazine by individuals with endometriosis, for individuals with endometriosis. She has a Master's degree in Creative Publishing and Critical Journalism from The New School of Social Research and is a grad of Sextech School. You can find more of her work in various online pubs, including National Geographic, Insider, Kinkly, and others.

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Stacia Datskovska
Mashable Shopping Intern

Stacia Datskovska is an NYU journalism major (graduating this December). Her work has appeared in USA Today, Boston Globe, Teen Vogue, HuffPost, Bustle, and more. When she's not writing something or other, Stacia can be spotted crying over poetry, making a home-cooked meal, or walking on an NYC pier. For her more half-baked thoughts: @staciadats on Twitter.


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