When Darth Vader breathes — just breathes! — heads turn. It’s an iconic wheeze that, 38 years later, is still better-known than the name of any subsequent “Star Wars” villain.
That’s because, while Vader breathes life into the franchise, the others just suck it back out.
The Wrap first reported last night that Benicio del Toro is in talks to play the baddie in “Episode VIII.” And we already know that “Girls”’ Adam Driver is taking on the job for “Episode VII: The Force Awakens,” out this Christmas, as some evil dude named Kylo Ren.
Perplexing casting like that sends a familiar chorus running through “Star Wars” fans’ heads the world over: “You don’t know what you got till it’s gone.”
Vader was scary — more so than any Force foe since. Despite his Pharaoh-like mask and a cape fit for an opera diva, there was something deeply unnerving, grotesque even, about not being able to see his eyes or even a small patch of skin. He wasn’t human.
That obscurity, paired with James Earl Jones’ cool-yet-imposing voice, created a character who could pilot a TIE fighter, choke a man with his mind and defeat Obi-Wan Kenobi in a lightsaber duel all before lunch (which we never even saw the monster eat).
He was classically evil; a guy who, while at one time good, was destined to fall to the Dark Side in order for his son Luke to, well, you know. He was an addict (the Force is intoxicating), a horrific dictator and a father with simmering regrets. Talk about complicated.
Meanwhile, we’ve been given a string of villainous flops ever since.
With all due respect to the legendary late actor Christopher Lee, “Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones’ ” Count Dooku was the biggest dud of them all. In a terribly convoluted movie, it was tough to figure out who he was (some kind of rich Sith politician?) or what he was doing there. So, Lee spoke in his booming brogue, and we dutifully nodded along till the bitter end.
And what exactly is Darth Maul from “Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace”? The right-hand man of the ominous future Emperor Palpatine (another dull, do-nothing villain), he barely spoke or did anything other than fight with that lame double lightsaber. He seems no different than any weirdo in Times Square who owns two different colored markers. A wise Twitter user, @St_Blunt, recently tweeted, “darth maul is sponsored by mountain dew code red.”
In the prequel series, George Lucas made the mistake of crafting villains around eclectic traits without imbuing them with any gravitas or conviction — they were more like menacing Ewoks than honest-to-God bad guys. As weird as Vader may be, he’s regal, respectable and threatening.
(Also, let’s not count “Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith’s” Anakin as Vader. That was just Hayden Christensen flaring his nostrils ad nauseum.)
The first trailer and San Diego Comic-Con featurette for “The Force Awakens” has generated a lot of strong buzz for the movie. Whether it’s deserved or not remains to be seen. But while Adam Driver may haunt the dreams of Hannah Horvath, on Dec. 25, I’ll be thinking fondly of Darth Vader.
Long may he reign.