Metro

New York train conductor delights commuters with zippy rhymes

His train is always right on rhyme.

Paul Pesante, a longtime conductor on Metro-North’s Hudson Line, has become a minor celebrity among the commuting crowd with his reliably witty rhyming announcements.

“The next stop, we’ll do our thing, the next stop is Ossining!!!” or “Be happy, be merry, the next station is Dobbs Ferry!!!” he’ll shout instead of the usual scripts.

“I’ve got a rhyme for every stop on the Hudson line. We’re all in this together, and you gotta keep the ride positive,” the 46-year-old told The Post. “Customer service is the dealmaker or dealbreaker.”

Paul Pesante, a longtime conductor on Metro-North’s Hudson Line, has become a minor celebrity among the commuting crowd with his reliably witty rhyming announcements. Stefano Giovannini

Other amusing phrasings have included “Ladies and gentleman, the number of stations left is one. After that, our journey is done,” “Tarrytown, it starts with T … Double T by the Tappan Zee!”  and the unforgettable “Go bonkers, it’s Yonkers!” 

The meter on the Metro-North started in 2019 when Pesante tweaked a standard message about not putting one’s feet on the seats— a hot-button commuting issue.

“Keep the feets off the seats, and safety first; take it from me, injury’s the worst,” he commanded. Passengers were surprised and amused.

Pesante’s amusing phrasings have included “Ladies and gentleman, the number of stations left is one. After that, our journey is done,” “Tarrytown, it starts with T … Double T by the Tappan Zee!”  and the unforgettable “Go bonkers, it’s Yonkers!”  Stefano Giovannini

“They had never heard that kind of delivery over the PA before. It was new and interesting,” Pesante said.

Things picked up during the pandemic, when he used rhyme to add some levity to announcements about masking up.

“If you wear no mask, I’ve got bad news: Fifty dollars you’re gonna lose,” he told passengers after an executive order from then-Governor Andrew Cuomo enabled transit workers to fine anyone who refused to wear a mask.

The pandemic was an awful time to be in his line of work, and his rhymes were a bright spot.

“We’re all in this together, and you gotta keep the ride positive,” Pesante told The Post. Stefano Giovannini

“To work trains that would normally be packed and there’s only five to 10 people per car: It was surreal,” Pesante recalled. “And then to come to an empty Grand Central, that was the hardest part.”

The Queens native has always loved trains — he calls himself “PA Paul” and uses “The Train Man” as his email alias — and began working in transit not long after high school.

He spent six years as a subway conductor before making the switch to Metro-North, where he’s worked for the past two decades. The married father-of-three, who still lives in Queens, gets up before dawn to start work at 5 a.m.

His schedule varies, but he always works the Hudson line. Passengers looking to catch him have the best chance on the 7:09 a.m. train from Croton-Harmon to Grand Central. Those that do end up on his train are usually thrilled.

“I finally ran into the man himself, the King of the Hudson Line,” wrote one fan on Instagram. “Best conductor ever!” enthused another on Facebook.

Pesante said the emptiness of Grand Central Station was one of the hardest things about the pandemic for transit workers. Stefano Giovannini

Wordplay comes naturally to Pesante.

“I always did well in English class, from elementary school on. Plus, I always had the “gift of gab,'” he said. “Rhymes in poetry did indeed help get a young boy noticed by the girls!” 

But, even with his talent, there are some challenges, such as the Bronx neighbor, Spuyten Duyvil. After some thought, he managed to pair it with “arrival.”

Then there’s Irvington — an idyllic Westchester River Town that doesn’t really rhyme with anything, but that Pesante makes work.

“If the next stop is home, then your journey is done … the next station stop will be Irv-ing-ton!!! Irvington next!!” he might say.

“I’ve got a rhyme for every stop on the Hudson line,” Pesante told The Post. Stefano Giovannini

The rhymes vary from day to day. Pesante never does exactly the same one, because, as he says, “changing it up a bit is what keeps it interesting.”  

And, it’s all about keeping passengers amused amidst the drudgery of commuting, or whatever else they might be dealing with .

Five months ago, on the 12:55 train out of Croton-Harmon, there was an older woman aboard his train, heading into the city to get eye surgery.

“She was anxious. Stressing out. And she told an assistant conductor that, thanks to me, I made her feel so much better simply by the energy I put into the train,” says Pesante. “That means everything to me.”