That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Today, I talk about a woman who sold every single thing in her wardrobe and explore the lessons that can be learned from this drastic approach, discussing both the positive and less than ideal aspects of the woman's actions. Highlighting the importance of taking small actions and steering away from all-or-nothing thinking, I look at what we who have difficult home surroundings can learn from this Acknowledging annoyance and taking action against it. Overcoming scarcity mindset and emotional attachments to possessions. Liberating to sell clothes, or all-or-nothing thinking? Gradual progress leads to lasting change and adaptation. Exploring actions and habits to address annoyances. Don't have to do extreme decluttering. Small actions are valuable. Incorporate new behaviours consistently. Slow progress is more effective than dramatic change for long-term success. Accepting and embracing feelings as a human reaction. Taking Action on Annoyances Acknowledging ongoing annoyances Taking decisive action to address the problem Decisiveness Being inspired by the woman's decisiveness Overcoming overthinking and indecisiveness Finding fulfillment and reward in making a dramatic change Feeling liberated by having considerably less stuff Living with Considerably Less Realising that living with less is not a threat The protective nature of hoarding behaviour Less Ideal Aspects of Extreme Action All-or-Nothing Thinking Recognising the danger of extremes in decision making Embracing the value of moderation and balanced action Small Actions versus Grand Gestures The importance of small, consistent actions over grand gestures Building lasting change through gradual progress Overcompensating The dangers of drastically clearing out possessions Gradual adaptation and adjustment to change Accepting Feelings and Reactions Understanding that feelings of overwhelm are a normal human experience No Secondary Shame Rejecting the idea that feeling hard emotions is a source of shame Overcoming internalised beliefs about the negativity of emotions

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  With Dr Jan Eppingstall, today I delve into the fascinating world of habituation – which you might be familiar with as clutter blindness, but it’s so much more than that! – and its impact on our daily lives. We look at the role of habituation in hoarding, and offer practical techniques to revitalise our perspectives. Join us as we unravel the complexity of habituation and its relationship to hoarding, with valuable insights into improving our quality of life. Habituation and its Impact Definition of habituation Evolutionary and innate nature of habituation Habituation as a form of non-associative learning Role of habituation in daily life Individual experiences with habituation Positive, neutral, and negative aspects of habituation Habituation in hoarding behaviour Habituation and autistic people Effects of habituation on daily tasks and decision-making Habituation in relation to clutter blindness and hoarding Overcoming Habituation Techniques for combatting habituation Changing daily routines and habits Using different modes of transport Performing everyday tasks in different ways Looking at space through a different perspective The need for a variety of approaches to combat habituation Techniques to break habitual patterns The importance of stepping out of your comfort zone The importance of mixing up approaches and embracing what works Habituation in Mental Health and Therapy Deliberate use of habituation in mental health treatment Exposure therapy and fear ladder approach in treating fears and phobias Gradual exposure therapy for specific fears Maintenance of progress in overcoming fears and phobias Implications of habituation for individuals with autism spectrum disorders in relation to hoarding Insight into habituation and its impact on hoarding behaviour Techniques and advice for combating habituation Examples of habituation in daily life Experience of habituation in hoarding behaviour and clutter blindness The impact of habituation on decision-making and compensating for clutter Connection between habituation, working memory, and people-pleasing behaviour Understanding the impact of habituation on decision-making and perceptions Strategies for breaking habitual patterns and experiencing joy Mindfulness and gratitude in daily life Rekindling appreciation for familiar places and seeing them through fresh eyes Encouragement to find joy in life and invest in experiences over material possessions Non-associative learning: Becoming accustomed to stimuli. Habituation serves necessary and neutral purposes. Skipping stages and creating fear ladder for hoarding. Clutter organization leads to joy, not regret. Habituation in hoarding leads to inaction. Removing obstacles can make daily tasks easier. Visual cues and externalising tasks aid memory. Self-sufficiency Observing and changing habits leads to improvement. Experiences linger longer than material possessions. Habituation is normal and can be positive. Habituation is the process of becoming less responsive to repeated stimuli. Habituation serves purposes: prevent overwhelm, allow focus, survival. Good, neutral, negative aspects. Overstimulation and stimming behaviors. Reliance on visuals becomes less effective. Visual reminders and working memory limitations prompt use of external systems to record and remember tasks. Some people have a mindset of overcoming odds and finding resourceful solutions. Changing habits and mindset is key for improvement. Observing and reflecting on how things are done can lead to finding better, more efficient ways. The key is to have a mix of approaches for habit change. Variety is essential and embrace what works, even if just for a bit. The mind values experiences over possessions for lasting impact. Habituation is normal, can be positive, neutral, or negative, and can be used to reduce distress.

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Incredible conversation with the ever-insightful KC Davis of Struggle Care. From discussing the impact of accumulating unused items to exploring the mental and emotional barriers people face in decluttering and tidying up, this episode covers a wide range of strategies and insights to help you on your dehoarding journey. We look at the shame and stigma associated with struggling with care tasks, including dehoarding, and the impact on individuals' self-worth and ability to seek help, and replace the shame with an approach rooted in self-compassion and moral neutrality towards care tasks. So if you're looking for practical tips, empathy, and support on your dehoarding journey, you won't want to miss this episode! Understanding Care Tasks and Struggles Definition of "care tasks" Stigma and shame surrounding struggles with care tasks Impact on self-worth and ability to seek help Overcoming Shame and Stigma Fear and self-criticism Importance of self-compassion and supportive community Motivation and the limitations of shame Individualised solutions rooted in self-compassion Thriftiness and environmental concerns Strategies for Task Initiation and Motivation Challenges for hoarders and those with ADHD Differentiating motivation and task initiation Small steps, transitions, and tools for task initiation Starting the Decluttering Process No one right way to start Making small decisions and using timers Involving friends in parting with items Overcoming Emotional Barriers to Decluttering Impact of accumulated items and their eventual outcome "5 things theory" to overcome resistance Adjusting the tidying process and taking small steps consistently Strategies for Organising and Tidying Up Breaking tasks into smaller steps Visual storage ideas and creating rituals Setting priorities and challenging societal norms Judgments based on work, race, and appearance Many people feel therapy isn't addressing their needs. Shame doesn't lead to lasting behaviour change. Self-help methods are not one-size-fits-all. Permission to accommodate leads to lasting change. Challenges of ADHD and executive functioning explained. Declutter by what I need, love, keep. Motivation leads to easier hard work and decluttering. Take small steps and make decisions. Break tasks into small steps. Community support for navigating vulnerability. Many people find online content more helpful than traditional therapy, reflecting societal attitudes towards seeking help. Shame and social pressure don't guarantee change. Self-help space lacks personalised solutions for diverse challenges. Universal methods don't address individual barriers and needs. People give themselves permission to accommodate and it leads to curiosity, not necessarily a finish line. Challenges with executive functioning and organisation due to ADHD, struggling with clutter and distractions. Sort items by frequency of use, happiness, and necessity. Prioritise what to keep, rather than what to discard. Motivation leads to easier wins, declutter by discussing meaningful items with friends. Taking small steps without pressure, performing tasks with enjoyable activities. Breaking tasks into smaller steps and utilising a simple action to initiate it.

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  I watched a film, "Where Dragons Live," which struck a chord with themes of belongings, families, the meaning of our stuff, and the complexities of dealing with a loved one's stuff after they pass away. I talk about the deeper implications of what we leave behind. Join me as I reflect on the emotional impact of material possessions and the significance of our connections with others. Film Review: Where Dragons Live Review and discussion of the film "Where Dragons Live" Exploration of themes relevant to hoarding, family dynamics and privilege Reflection on the concept of treasuring and maintaining possessions Analysis of the film’s portrayal of mixed, nuanced emotions and reactions Examination of the anxiety surrounding what we leave behind for others Emphasis on the impact of hoarding on one's own life and grieving process Personal reflection on the burden and worry of leaving behind a hoarding home Consideration of the challenges faced by those sorting through a hoarded space Insight into the complexities of emotions and decision-making related to hoarding Impact Beyond Possessions Reflection on the value of relationships and connections beyond physical possessions Examination of the meaningful impact individuals can leave on others Emphasis on the significance of emotional and personal legacies Discussion of minimising physical clutter to alleviate stress for others Personal experiences related to friendships and legacies Reflection on the meaningful contributions individuals can make in others’ lives Recommendations for listeners to consider the impact they leave on others Encouragement to prioritise meaningful connections over material possessions Mixed emotions lead to decision-making challenges. Grieving and hoarding Overwhelm Leave behind meaningful and powerful positive impact. Film subjects reflect on sentimental items. Grief and clearing out a hoarded home, finding value in the midst of overwhelming belongings. Leaving meaningful impact beyond material possessions. The film's focus on balancing material possessions with emotional value Minimising belongings for others' sake.

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Dr. Jennifer Krafft, director of the Mindfulness and Acceptance Lab at Mississippi State University and her expertise in hoarding disorder, OCD, anxiety, and mindfulness and acceptance processes for treatment brings a fresh perspective to the prevalent issues surrounding hoarding. We’re talking particularly about stigma and hoarding disorder, the impact of cultural and societal attitudes, and the potential for self-help interventions to reduce stigma. We look at the roles of psychological flexibility, self-compassion, and the need for societal change in addressing hoarding stigma. Stigma and Misconceptions Surrounding Hoarding Disorder Lack of public awareness and understanding Sensationalism in reality TV shows and its impact on stigmatisation Impact of hoarding stigma on seeking help and social lives Mindfulness and Acceptance in Managing Hoarding Disorder Dr. Jennifer Krafft's personal experiences and curiosity leading to interest in hoarding disorder Lack of effective treatments and trained providers for hoarding disorder Study on self-help interventions reducing stigmatisation for people with hoarding disorder Combating perfectionism through flexibility and managing cognitive reactions Seeking Help and Self-Stigma Dr. Jennifer Krafft's study on individuals' preferences for seeking help for mental health problems Public stigma and self-stigma, leading to shame, embarrassment, and hiding behaviour Psychological inflexibility linked to stigma and rigid behaviour patterns Acceptance and commitment therapy promoting psychological flexibility Addressing Stigma and Shame Impact of intersecting stigmas on individuals, such as hoarding and racism Addressing self-criticism, shame, and seeking support Mindfulness exercises and self-compassion in managing stigma and shame Cultural and Identity Perspectives in Hoarding Disorder Lack of research on culture, identity, and hoarding, particularly in diverse populations Additional challenges faced by individuals with multiple forms of discrimination Acknowledging the impact of intersecting stigmas on individuals Evolutionary Perspective of Hoarding Behaviour Dr. Jennifer Krafft discussing hoarding behaviour in the context of human evolution Mismatch between human adaptation and the current society's abundance of material possessions Promoting Awareness and Education Dr. Jennifer Krafft's advocacy for societal change in addressing hoarding stigma Necessity for professional education and awareness about hoarding disorder Lack of research on culture, identity, and hoarding, particularly in diverse populations Each of these topics delves into the complexities and implications of hoarding disorder, shedding light on the need for compassion, understanding, and effective interventions. Reality TV impacts public perception of hoarding. Insufficient research on hoarding and identity discrimination. Negative thoughts and emotions control behaviour; impacts stigma. Identifying and challenging perfectionism in daily life. Seeking support, not meant to be isolated. Consider the adaptive nature of hoarding behaviour. Dehoarding Zoom sessions help with self-judgment. Acceptance and commitment therapy promotes psychological flexibility to navigate stigma effectively. Insufficient research on hoarding and identity, leading to potential discrimination. Psychological inflexibility leads to stigma. Acceptance and commitment therapy can help. Researcher discusses unexpected study findings, biases Intrinsic motivation in decluttering. Seek support from others, fight hoarding stigma. Evolutionary perspective on hoarding behaviour and the potential benefits of hoarding in certain contexts Zoom accountability sessions for decluttering, self-judgment comparison.

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Today, I focus on the dreaded "analysis paralysis" and how it affects individuals with hoarding disorder. I discuss practical strategies for making decisions easier and breaking through the overwhelming feeling of being stuck in the decision-making process. From setting time limits to reframing fear, I will talk you through the steps to overcoming paralysis and perfectionism. Analysis Paralysis and Hoarding Disorder Definition of analysis paralysis Overwhelmed by options and freezing due to overanalysing Negative impact of perfectionism and fear of uncertainty on decision-making Feeling overwhelmed by choices Getting stuck in overanalysing Impact of perfectionism on decision-making Fear of uncertainty hindering progress Strategies to Overcome Analysis Paralysis Using systems or rules to make decisions easier Setting time limits to create focus and reduce overwhelm Practicing with small decisions to build confidence Grounding oneself in the present and breaking tasks into smaller chunks Having a decision-making framework or process to aid in breaking through analysis paralysis Techniques such as pros and cons lists, cost benefit analysis, and setting rules to make decisions easier Importance of setting criteria to aid decision-making Making use of time limits to create focus Building confidence through practicing with small decisions Breaking tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks Prioritising Progress Over Perfection Encouragement to start small, even if something seems impossible or too difficult Strategic questions, setting a timer, joining an accountability group, and focusing on the present moment to overcome paralysis and perfectionism Emphasising the importance of progress over perfection Starting with small, achievable goals Using strategic questions and setting timers for focus Utilising support systems like accountability groups The emphasis on progress over perfection Overcoming analysis paralysis through implementing systems. Overcome perfectionism and fear by taking action. Refocus on positive possibilities to overcome fear. Focus on 20-minute tasks to avoid overwhelm. Start with small decisions to build confidence. Focus on the present, break tasks down. Focusing on first step, making decisions easier. Simplify decision-making process to ease overthinking. Overcome perfectionism and fear of uncertainty by taking action and learning as you go. Changing mindset from fear to possibility, reframing challenges and gaining perspective. Focusing on 20-minute tasks helps with overwhelm and promotes action. Start small, build confidence to overcome hoarding. Focus on the present, break tasks into smaller chunks. Start with first step, use decision making framework to break through analysis paralysis. Tips for overcoming paralysis and overthinking: use pros and cons lists, cost benefit analysis, and practice to build confidence.

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  I have a bit of an emotional moment in this one! In this episode, I talk about how we can spot those things that may have been useful at one point but are limiting us now. And look at how we can start to even entertain the idea of moving away from them without getting overwhelmed by the things that we're running away from in the first place. Identifying coping mechanisms that have become detrimental How once-helpful behaviours or thoughts can now cause stress, annoyance, or interfere with work and relationships Acknowledging the negative impact of these coping mechanisms Letting Go of Detrimental Coping Mechanisms Symbolism of finding freedom after letting go of detrimental habits Thanking coping mechanisms for past usefulness while acknowledging their current negative impact The process of letting go described as taking small steps Emphasising gradual change rather than extreme transformation My experience of letting go of self-harm as a coping mechanism Therapist's advice to apply the same principle to hoarding Reflecting on past coping mechanisms and their evolution Reassessing the need for detailed to-do lists as a coping mechanism for insecurity and fear Overcoming Adversity and Achieving Small Victories The power of achieving small victories Using every bit of progress to fuel the next step, even if it feels impossible Identifying the benefits derived from hoarding and finding alternative positive coping mechanisms Adopting Positive Behaviours and Embracing Change Importance of trial and error and gradual change in adopting positive behaviours Encouraging curiosity and open-mindedness Acknowledging that change doesn't have to happen all at once Our lives can be better without the distress-causing coping mechanisms Support and Community Invitation to hoarders for an event for support and discussion Acknowledging past coping mechanisms, embracing self-acceptance. Struggling with past coping mechanisms; learning to let go. Identify harmful coping mechanisms to improve well-being. Understanding underlying emotional needs. Reflect on coping mechanisms, assess their effectiveness. Identify and let go of problematic coping mechanisms, consider letting go of hoarding behaviours. Reflect on positive moments, gently acknowledge the problems. Find positive coping mechanisms, assess their effectiveness, and make gradual changes.

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  We need to talk about hoarding and physical disabilities, chronic illness, and chronic pain. With the inimitable Dr. Jan Eppingstall, I look at the unique challenges faced by individuals with disabilities, chronic health conditions who hoard. From the impact of aging on hoarding tendencies to the struggles of navigating a hoarded space while managing chronic pain, we offer insights and practical strategies for those dealing with hoarding and physical limitations. Join us as we delve into the complexities of hoarding and its intersection with physical health challenges in a compassionate and informative discussion. The Impact of Disabilities on Hoarding Behaviours Complex relationship between hoarding and disabilities Chronic pain, mental health issues, and aging The prevalence and severity of hoarding in correlation with aging and physical limitations The challenges of categorising people and their impairments Gender Disparities and Disabilities in Hoarding research The association between physical disabilities, chronic illness, and chronic pain with hoarding, particularly among women The link between autoimmune diseases, common in women, and hoarding The impact of poverty on disabilities and hoarding Advocacy challenges for women with disabilities and hoarding behaviours The need for women to better acknowledge their achievements without feeling like boasting The significance of functional impairment in the discussion The importance of persistently seeking medical help despite the gender pain gap and lack of specificity in symptoms Strategies for individuals to lead a more independent and fulfilling life despite chronic issues The effects of giving up on seeking medical help on documenting conditions and receiving appropriate care Managing Hoarding and Disabilities Balancing function over appearance for hoarders with chronic health problems The individuals' strong attachment to certain aesthetics and struggles in decluttering due to sentimental attachment Practical ways to seek help and simplify tasks for people with hoarding tendencies, particularly for those living alone Strategies for managing household tasks despite limited mobility The importance of pacing oneself and not pushing beyond physical limits The impact of spending time outdoors on mental and physical health Challenges of Aging and Hoarding Accumulation of belongings over a lifetime, particularly among older generations Reluctance to part with items due to sentimental attachment and difficulty decluttering with physical limitations The isolation and loneliness experienced by older individuals in decluttering and organising tasks Addressing the challenges faced by hoarders with physical limitations, including lifting, fine motor skills, and brain fog The impact of limited energy and the need for careful prioritisation of tasks Living with Physical Health Problems in a Hoarded Environment The physical and emotional challenges of living with physical health problems Managing disabilities and planning, scheduling appointments, and attending to physical needs in a hoarded space The increased energy consumption living in a hoarded space Navigating chronic pain and strategies to manage dehoarding tasks even on bad pain days Differentiating between tasks that move the needle and those that simply paper over the cracks Hoarding research shows self-selection bias towards females. Hoarding increases with age, affecting functionality. Disability requires more planning and preparation. Living with physical limitations is never straightforward. Self-compassion improved my situation. Avoid pushing too hard, limit activities to 3 hours. Hoarding and function over appearance for health. Assessing and adjusting belongings to create harmony. Study on disability assessments, measuring functional impairment in 6 areas. Moving away from cause and effect to individual change and vulnerability. More planning for disability due to brain fog. People underestimate complexity of physical disabilities.

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Today, I look at the impact of micro trends on our lives and how they are contributing to clutter and excessive consumption and the additional challenges hoarders face in this ever-evolving landscape of trends. I look at identifying our true style beyond societal pressures and resisting the temptation of constantly changing trendy items. Join me to explore the consequences of indulging in micro trends, the environmental impact of fast fashion, and strategies to make mindful purchasing decisions in a world dominated by fleeting trends. Impact of Microtrends on Hoarding Behaviour Hoarders facing unique challenges with microtrends Consequences of indulging in microtrends such as financial strain and accumulation of belongings Resisting the Temptation of Microtrends Avoiding constantly changing trendy items Thought exercise to identify personal style beyond external influences Understanding individual style versus succumbing to marketing influences Questioning motivations behind purchasing new trends Mindful Purchasing and Consumption "One in, one out" approach to purchases Delaying purchases to assess genuine interest Identifying if existing items can serve the same purpose Evolution of Trends and Impact of Social Media Trends in fashion and design propelled by personal expression and corporate marketing Acceleration of trends through social media platforms Accumulation of items due to shorter trend cycles and excessive consumption Environmental and Social Impact Production and consumption of fast, low-quality products contributing to waste Struggle of charity shops to sell items from past micro trends Encouraging individuals to opt out of supporting fleeting trends By addressing these topics, the podcast provides a comprehensive exploration of how microtrends impact hoarding behaviour, strategies for resisting trends, and insights into the broader societal and environmental implications of excessive consumption. FOMO in micro trends: dopamine, immediate reward. Consider the real reasons for wanting something. Consider delaying purchases to avoid micro trends. Hoarders face challenges with microtrends, self-control. Desire for personalization and expression; trends and fashions driven by corporations to fuel spending. Accumulation of unused items, struggle to declutter. FOMO in micro trends leads to regretful charity shop donations. Questioning motives, mindful consumption. Consider delaying purchases to assess true desire and value. Immediate craving may indicate fleeting trend. Microtrends are a challenge for hoarders, leading to more stuff, less money, and self-doubt.

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-140-how-to-cope-with-or-help-a-partner-who-hoards-with-laura-silverstein-certified-gottman-couples-therapist/  This week, I’m with Laura Silverstein, a Certified Gottman Couples Therapist, who is a genius on how couples can improve their communication and the way they take each other’s needs into account. So we explore the complexities of living with a hoarding partner and the impact it has on relationships. Laura provides anecdotes and advice on setting healthy boundaries, initiating difficult conversations, and the role of a therapist in couples therapy. We also discuss the value of authentic communication, empathy, and the idea that love requires continuous effort. We look at the difficulties non-hoarding partners face in understanding their hoarding significant other, the impact of unresolved conflicts, and the evolving perception of quirks in a relationship. The conversation highlights the importance of open and honest communication, emphasising the need for both partners to be involved in decluttering decisions. Join us as we talk about coping with – and helping – a hoarding partner in a relationship. Living with a Hoarding Partner Challenges for the non-hoarding partner Understanding hoarding behaviour Impact of conflict in relationships Approaching hoarding issues as a couple Communication and Decision Making Importance of open and honest communication Involving the hoarding partner in decluttering decisions Examples of different approaches to decluttering Setting Boundaries and Deal Breakers Clear communication and healthy boundary setting Communicating core needs with a partner A therapist's role in helping couples set boundaries Couples Therapy and Relationship Dynamics Role of a Therapist in Couples Therapy Encouraging honest and respectful communication The goal of therapy in relationships Valuing the time spent in a relationship Initiating and Navigating Difficult Conversations Approaching conversations in a positive and constructive way The "I like, I wish, I wonder" framework for expressing emotions and requests The importance of clear communication and avoiding misunderstandings Building and Sustaining Relationships Acknowledging each partner's needs Significance of authenticity, empathy, and mutual understanding Challenging topic of hoarding and relationship conflict. Understanding and accepting challenges of hoarding disorder. Improving communication, appreciating efforts, and showing love. Authenticity in relationships and understanding partner's pain. Respect partner's wisdom, avoid secrets and betrayal. Honesty and understanding create helpful solutions. Fear of hurtful conversations hinders creative solutions. Setting boundaries is important for relationships. Progress is non-linear Seeking respectful closure through difficult conversations is success. Leaving with integrity and seeking support. It's important to normalise conflict and focus on repairing relationships through understanding, communication, and meeting each other's needs. Importance of embracing differences in love and relationships. Advocate for needs Common conflict communication pattern is attack-defend. Skilled communication improves relationships. Acknowledging past communication issues, understanding partner's challenges, emphasising authenticity and love in communication. Authentic empathy and communication are key in addressing relationship struggles and finding mutual understanding and support. Focus on trust and communication in relationships to address hoarding issues. Discussing how to handle hoarding sensitively and considering different scenarios before making decisions. Honest communication and creativity in relationships. Fear of difficult conversations hinders creativity and problem-solving in relationships. Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining integrity in relationships. Success in helping people navigate difficult relationship conversations, with respect and support. Success is about integrity and treating your partner well, whether working through difficulties or parting ways.  

Sign up for the Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ Today, chronic disorganisation with our special guest, Jo Cooke of Hoarding Disorders UK. Chronic disorganisation impacts day-to-day living, from time management to project completion, and is closely connected to hoarding behaviours. Jo’s written a whole book on the topic, so join us as we look into the overlap between chronic disorganisation and hoarding, executive dysfunction, and the impact of grief, trauma, and loss on these issues. Chronic Disorganisation Definition and impact on day-to-day living Connection between chronic disorganisation and hoarding Executive dysfunction and its effect on chronic disorganisation Understanding and managing energy levels using the "spoon theory" Physical self-care and its impact on organisation and management Grief, Trauma, and Menopause The role of grief, trauma, and loss in chronic disorganisation and hoarding Societal shift in openly discussing menopause and its impact on daily life Importance of self-compassion and understanding that disorganisation does not equate to laziness or lack of intelligence Impact of Covid and Societal Factors How Covid has impacted people's experiences, including loneliness, anxiety, and chronic overwhelm Contribution of technology, fast-paced living, and societal expectations to difficulty in focusing and staying on task Strategies for Managing Chronic Disorganisation Body doubling as a method to have someone quietly cheerleading alongside on tasks Importance of sustained attention, goal perseverance, and finding the right motivation and goal-setting approach tailored to individual preferences Achieving and maintaining focus on tasks through setting achievable goals, tailored to individual needs, and utilising the PACE approach (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy) Overcoming Chronic Disorganisation Importance of seeking help, defining what help looks like, and joining support groups to combat shame and self-blame The release of Jo Cooke's book "Overcoming Chronic Disorganisation" for pre-order and her online presence at hoardingdisordersuk.org Recognising trends in client needs, including bereavement, ADHD, and menopause, and challenges in organisation. Chronic disorganisation impacts daily living with system struggles, time management, and tasks. Hoarding and chronic disorganisation overlap due to executive functioning challenges, leading to repetitive acquisitions and disorganisation. Modern life is fast-paced with high expectations, leading to difficulty focusing. Body doubling can help remain on task. Focus on short and medium-term goals, not just the ultimate goal. Shame vs joy, playfulness, curiosity, and distress tolerance. Support group helped challenge self-blame and shame.

Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast transcript: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-138-the-accountability-effect-accountability-encouragement-and-mutual-support-when-tackling-hoarding-and-dehoarding/ In today's episode, I talk about holding yourself accountable by yourself. Then I talk about holding yourself accountable if you've got an accountability buddy. And then I'm going to talk about holding yourself accountable if you don't have anybody that you can talk about hoarding with. Because those are 3 really different situations with really different pros and cons and approaches and benefits as well. Accountability and Dehoarding An accountability buddy who is also working on dehoarding Mutual support and encouragement Honest and constructive feedback Using before and after photos for accountability and motivation Setting up times to donate or recycle items together with an accountability buddy Shared encouragement and sense of accomplishment Solo Accountability in Dehoarding Challenges of holding oneself accountable when nobody knows about the hoarding Joining clutter groups on Facebook or posting on social media for accountability A group Zoom session for hoarders to hold themselves accountable Setting external deadlines for accountability Using inspirational visuals and quotes Having regular check-ins and task schedules Tools for Accountability in Dehoarding Using productivity apps or reminder apps to track progress Finding features that work best for individual performance Rewarding oneself with non-material rewards The Concept of Accountability Reluctance to commit to accountability Acknowledgment of its effectiveness in achieving goals Personal experiences and strategies for self-accountability Tracking progress and setting deadlines Holding yourself accountable is crucial for productivity. Accountability involves planning and setting goals. Regular check-ins help achieve and motivate goals. Encourage and support each other for success. Accountability buddy supports, encourages, and holds responsible. Setting deadlines and visual, shared encouragement motivates. Seek accountability through social media and groups. Accountability involves self-discipline and planning to achieve goals. Regular self-check-ins help stay on track, providing motivation and a sense of accomplishment. Encourage support, set same time for tasks, share progress and tips with accountability buddy to overcome obstacles. Having an accountability buddy offers mutual support, encouragement, and honesty in achieving goals. Accountability buddy motivates donating items. Find accountability in decluttering through social media or online groups