Bachelorette Jenn Tran Took 'Mental Notes' on Drama but Didn't Get Involved Since 'I'm Not Their Moms' (Exclusive)

• ABC named Jenn Tran as the lead for The Bachelorette season 21 after she appeared on Joey Graziadei’s season of The Bachelor
• Tran tells PEOPLE she learned from Graziadei’s season “that it's OK to be vulnerable”
• The physician assistant student didn’t want to get involved in drama on her season because she’s “not there to teach them anything,” she says

It wouldn’t be The Bachelorette without some drama, but Jenn Tran didn’t want to engage when her suitors started getting into it.

“My approach with navigating drama was to let the boys fight it out themselves,” Tran, 26, tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue. “I think once you let somebody figure things out for themselves and see how they make decisions and how they approach things, you get to learn so much more about them. So once drama started happening, I sat back and just took some mental notes. I'm not their moms, I'm not there to teach them anything.”

Tran says she “just had to listen to my heart” when it came to making decisions about who she wanted to send home.

“At the end of the day, I really had to follow my gut and do what I felt was right,” she continues. “I know that sounds cliche, but it's not like I was sitting down with a chalkboard and being like, ‘OK, what qualities does this person have?’ You can't really do that. I think the best way to do it is to feel out how you're feeling.”

The physician assistant student calls it “so surreal” to be the one handing out roses after being a contestant on Joey Graziadei’s season of The Bachelor. At her first rose ceremony, “I was just standing there looking at these 25 men who want to get to know me more and want to genuinely be in a relationship with me, and I felt really conflicted because it's hard to hold so many people's emotions in your hands,” Tran says.

Despite having her heart broken on 29-year-old Graziadei’s season, Tran learned a lot from the experience.

“What I really learned from that was that it's OK to be vulnerable,” she says. “I can have a lot of walls up and I do not like to show any weakness. I feel like it allows people to judge you or to see a side of you that you might not necessarily want to show. But I learned that you should want to share your story and where you came from and the things that you struggle with because somebody else might be dealing with the same things. It's good to let people in because then they can understand you a little bit better.”

Tran applied those lessons to her own season. “What I took from Joey's season was that you need to be vulnerable in order to really let yourself explore these relationships,” the reality star says. “You got to let these guys see who you are, and you got to let them understand you.”

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While the qualities Tran wanted in a partner changed “every day” throughout her journey, “what I really was looking for was things that I had struggled with in my previous relationships,” she says. “I didn't want someone who was selfish, I didn't want someone who was insecure, I didn't want someone who was going to shoot me down when I had something to say.”

“I really wanted a partner, somebody that could listen to me and understand me and embrace who I am and allow me to have that voice.”

Although Tran took a break from PA school to go on The Bachelorette, she plans to continue her education and therefore, wanted to find a partner who would support her career ambitions.

“It was important for me to have conversations with these guys about PA school and what my life looked like within the next couple of years,” Tran says. “Being a medical provider isn't easy, and you need a partner that's going to be able to want to emotionally support you in that and to just be there for you.”

Overall, Tran says she tried to “stay true to myself as much as I could” throughout her time as the Bachelorette.

“I really do think that the root of it all is that I never felt like I fit a mold. I never felt like I belonged on TV or felt like I could be the main character of my own love story,” she adds. “I really just hope that people see my story and know that it's OK to tell their stories, too, and that it's OK to do anything that they want.”

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The Bachelorette premieres Monday, July 8, at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.