Allison Holker Boss Says Returning to Dance Will Be a 'Big Step' as She Grieves 'Wonderful' Husband tWitch

Dance was always Allison Holker Boss and her late husband Stephen 'tWitch' Boss's love language.

After appearing as All-Stars on So You Think You Can Dance in 2010, the couple hit it off at the season's wrap party, falling in love after sharing their first dance together.

As they grew a family — Stephen adopted Allison's daughter Weslie, 14, when they wed in 2013, and they welcomed son Maddox, 7, and their younger daughter Zaia, 3 — dancing remained the through line of their relationship.

"Dancing with him was so special. He was wonderful," Allison, 35, tells PEOPLE exclusively in this week's issue.

Four months after Stephen's death from suicide at age 40, the lifelong dancer and TV host says she hasn't been able to return to the shared passion that first brought them together.

"I haven't danced yet. I've wiggled with my kids here and there... but I haven't yet," she says. "I know that I will get there. I will."

"That will probably be, honestly, my last step into healing...," she continues, growing quiet. "The healing will be going on forever. I know that's gonna be a big step for me, but I'll get there."

Sitting down with PEOPLE at the couple's Los Angeles-area home, Allison opened up about how she and her kids are coping — and finding new purpose in helping others feel less alone.

"We lean on each other a lot for support because every single day is a new emotion. And honestly, not even day by day. It's moment by moment. You never know when something is going to trigger a memory or thought and make you go into your head a little bit, so we make sure to communicate that with each other," she says. "We want to be okay — and we are okay — but it's taking a lot of work together."

In February she and her children launched the Move With Kindness Foundation in honor of Stephen to help as many people access mental health resources as possible.

"Whatever moment you're scared to talk about, you need to," she says of the message she hopes to spread. "Yes, it's going to be really scary, but nobody's going to see you differently."

And though she still grapples with a "complex" web of emotions — including heartbreak, anger and deep love — Allison is determined to protect Stephen's legacy.

"He brought so much love to this world. He did it with so much joy, and he was so cool when he did it too," she says. "I want my kids to know that, too."

For more on how Allison Holker Boss and her kids are continuing the legacy of Stephen 'tWitch' Boss, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday, or subscribe here.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.