'The Challenge''s Leroy Garrett Opens Up About Camila Nakagawa's Racist Outburst on 'Dirty 30', MTV Apologizes

MTV has apologized to Leroy Garrett after he spoke out about the difficult experience he endured while competing on The Challenge: Dirty 30 when former castmate Camila Nakagawa hurled racist comments at him.

During the show's 30th season in 2017, Nakagawa, 33, called Garrett, 36, a "Black motherf------ p----" in a "racist rant" while she was intoxicated. She then yelled, "It's all about Black motherf------ like that piece of s--t!"

Moments later, Nakagawa blamed Garrett for throwing a pillow at her while her back was turned and retaliated by hitting him with it; Johnny "Bananas" Devenanzio was the one who actually threw the pillow. Nakagawa was sent by production to stay in a hotel for the night.

Now, Garrett — who retired from the series earlier this year after season 36 — is addressing the way production handled the situation. He said it's been "weighing heavy on my conscience" for years, but he now believes it's a good time to "get this off my chest."

"Drunken thoughts and verbiage is a sober heart, I'm sorry," he said in a lengthy Instagram video Monday. "And as Camila is singling me out for being Black and the color of my skin — it's not as if I don't already feel singled out because of the fact that I'm in a room filled with white cast members, that they're all just staring at me in the middle of this room and no one is saying anything. I feel embarrassed, I'm shocked, I'm upset."

He continued, "And I'm thinking to myself like, 'Can someone that's in a position of power please come in and help me?' Like, I'm literally being attacked right now in front of everybody who I work with and no one is doing anything to help. And not even necessarily the cast members, because they're just as in shock too. But producers or security at this point."

"Once those words came out of her mouth about the color of my skin, and you could tell that she was coming out of a place of hate, someone should have stepped in. That's so unacceptable. And the fact that no one did, I felt like MTV, you dropped the ball," he added.

On Wednesday, the network addressed the incident in a statement obtained by PEOPLE, saying, "MTV and Bunim/Murray were saddened by Leroy Garrett's recount of his experience on The Challenge in 2017. We apologize to Leroy who is a beloved member of The Challenge family. While we sought to support the cast and address the incident on air at the time, it's now clear we didn't do enough. We have learned from this experience and are continuing to double down on our education programs for all cast and crew to ensure a safe, respectful and inclusive set free of discrimination and harassment in any form."

In his video, Garrett said he initially believed Nakagawa would be sent home for her actions, but host TJ Lavin entered the room the next day and immediately began discussing the game.

"I thought, 'What the hell is going on? No one is about to talk about what happened?' Imagine that," he said. "The producers didn't tell TJ to say something. I have to say something. I was the victim last night and I have to bring up why something happened to me and basically force someone to apologize — someone who wasn't going to do it on their own. Mindblowing to me."

Nakagawa went on to win the season.

Later in the video, Garrett added, "I feel as if the network needs to start holding cast members and anyone they employ accountable for their actions," he said. "All eyes are going to be on you with every move that you make now."

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Concluding his video, Garrett offered to have "a conversation" with MTV about how to "make change happen." He added, "The ball is in your court. All eyes are on you."

PEOPLE has reached out to Nakagawa for comment.

Nakagawa also addressed Garrett's video on an Instagram Live on Tuesday, saying she does "not condone racism."

"If there is anything in your eyes that I can be doing better, I ask you to please tell me because you can judge me all you want, that's fine. That's everybody's choice. But I would actually like to take action and do something positive," she said. "I'm taking anti-racism courses. Literally. I'm trying to educate myself so that I never make the same mistakes, so that I fully understand my part in just being supportive of the cause. That's what I want to do, that's it. I was wrong, period, 100 percent."

Nakagawa, who claimed she's tried calling Garrett to discuss the situation further, said she is "not the victim" and doesn't "want forgiveness" for her actions.

"I don't condone what I did. … From the bottom of my heart, I know Leroy doesn't care about me, and that's fine. It's his right. I probably wouldn't care about someone that did that to me too. But I always had a special place for him in my heart," she continued. "I always loved him so much and I don't even understand why I did what I did. If regret could kill, I'd be dead for sure."

Garrett's video follows the sudden ouster of Ashley Mitchell, 34, from The Challenge: Spies, Lies and Allies. "Ashley has broken one of our rules," Lavin explained. "Because of that, Ashley is no longer able to stay in the game. She has been deactivated. She is no longer able to continue in this game for the rest of the season."

"Rules are rules and I respect @mtv and TJs call," Mitchell, 34, wrote on Twitter after the episode. "The best apology is changed behavior. See you next time. I just want to thank everyone whose stuck with me throughout this all. Everyone knows I'm only mad at myself and it has been so hard to shake off the depression and anxiety since getting home. I have been taking anger management and reflecting a lot."

While MTV and Mitchell have been mum on what "rule" Mitchell broke, fellow player Devin Walker explained on an episode of Challenge Mania podcast, "A lot of people are feeling upset that they don't have all the information but it seems to them, by what they've pieced together, that Ashley was kicked off the show not for violence, but just for saying things. Then they go back throughout the years of the show and they're like, 'Well this person said this, this person said this, they weren't kicked off. This seems unfair. This seems like she's being targeted, maybe because she's a woman.' I can guarantee you that is not the case."